Straight From the Hip(86)

IZZY RUBBED DOWN Jackson. The horse stood in the sun, seeming to enjoy the attention. Every now and then he gave her a friendly head butt.

“You’re getting sassy,” she told him. “I’m not sure that’s such a good thing.”He snorted.

“Of course you think it’s fine. You already know you’re a darned handsome horse, don’t you. It’s important to be all nice and clean for the weekend. We have three more kids coming.”

Aaron had told her that morning. At least she was pretty sure that’s what he’d said. It was hard to tell with the glow from last night still burning inside her.

For the first time in her life, she knew the difference between having sex and making love. It wasn’t in the act itself. She’d enjoyed the physical part of what she and Nick had done. What had made it different, what had made it matter, was how she’d felt after. There had been a sense of belonging. Just as scary, she knew she’d exposed a part of herself to him. An intimate part she never showed anyone.

Love. It was terrifying. What did it mean? And more confusing, what was she supposed to do? Tell him?

“No,” she said aloud. “That’s not a good plan.”

Because she knew in her gut Nick didn’t want to hear the words. Not from her and not from anyone else. He wouldn’t believe it was okay for him to love anyone and certainly wouldn’t think he was someone who should be loved. There was a whole lifetime of punishment in his future. Or so he thought.

She had to figure out a way to make him see that he’d set himself on an impossible task. The rules were such that he couldn’t win. Of course he’d made a mistake, but at some point didn’t he get to have a life, too? Didn’t the good outweigh the bad?

The problem was he was trying to earn forgiveness, which was yet another impossible task. Forgiveness was a state of grace. Like faith, it either existed or it didn’t.

“Deep thoughts,” she told Jackson. “And I’ve only had one cup of coffee. Impressive, huh? Okay. Back to those kids.”

Aaron hadn’t told her much about them, mostly because he hadn’t been told either. She knew it was their first visit and that they’d been involved in domestic violence. The possible horrors were endless, but that wasn’t her concern. She was going to help them learn to ride so they could have fun and forget about whatever bad thing existed.

She heard footsteps and turned, expecting either Aaron or Nick. Instead her visitor was Garth Duncan.

Izzy wouldn’t have been more shocked to see a talking garden gnome, or the devil.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded, wishing she’d thought to bring a gun. Not that she knew if Nick kept any around. She was going to have to ask.

“So the operation was a success,” he said.

“What?”

“You can see me.”

“Better to be blind.”

Garth smiled. “You’re always a challenge, Izzy. I like that about you.”

Righteous anger filled her, giving her strength. “Is that why you tried to kill me? To show your affection?”

His expression hardened. “That wasn’t me. I had nothing to do with the explosion.”

“Right. And of course I’ll believe you.”

He wore jeans, a long-sleeved shirt and boots. Despite his billions, he looked at home in the barn. Maybe he was one of those men who looked at home anywhere.

“Ask me about any of the other incidents,” he said. “I’ll tell the truth. I didn’t have anything to do with what happened to you.”

For a second she wanted to believe him. There was something in his dark eyes—the truth maybe? She wasn’t sure. Then she shook her head. There was no way she was getting weak when it came to Garth.

“Are you saying that in the battle to ruin my family, you have limits? I don’t think so.”

“You’re wrong,” he said, “but that’s not why I’m here. I wanted to check on Nick.”

She frowned. “How do you know anything happened to him?”

Garth smiled. “We’re old friends. Didn’t he tell you?”

Despite the shock and pain that ripped through her, she refused to go for the bait. “Sell it somewhere else.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“Why should I? You’re a known liar.”

“I do many things, Izzy, but I don’t lie. I know Nick. I have for years. We were roommates in college.” He chuckled at the memory. “What a geek. He was fifteen or sixteen, clueless when it came to anything about girls. But he was smart. Scary smart, and a good kid. We became friends.”

She didn’t believe him. She repeated the words over and over because it was the only way to make them true. He had to be lying, because if he wasn’t, then Nick had kept his relationship with Garth from her. Nick had known what was going on and not said a word. He’d betrayed her.