Straight From the Hip(68)

He bent down and kissed her.

“What was that for?” she asked.

“I wanted to.”

“Just so typical,” she muttered.

But her smile was bigger and the shaking had stopped. Once again she’d proven that she could be knocked around, but she couldn’t be broken. He could respect that. Maybe more than respect, but he wasn’t going there. Not now, not ever.





THE NEXT MORNING, Izzy made her way to the barn. It was difficult, walking out into darkness with nothing but her memory and other senses to guide her. She worried about tripping over something or falling in a big hole—not that there were any on the ranch. The use of a cane suddenly made sense.

But as she got close, she could smell the hay and the horses. The quality of the dirt changed. She could feel it in her steps and knew it had been trampled by countless hoofs. She put her arm up to find the building and bumped her fingers against the wall three steps later.“How do you do it?” she asked Rita as soon as she got to the barn. “How do you figure out where stuff is and where you are?”

“Practice. My other senses come into play.”

“I’m scared nearly all the time,” Izzy admitted, sitting on the bench by the door. “I had my first panic attack last night.”

“How was it?”

“Not something I want to repeat.”

Rita joined her on the bench. “It’s a week, kid. You’ll be fine. Think of this as a character-building exercise.”

“I liked my character fine before.”

“But it will be better now.”

“Oh, joy.”

She knew there was more at stake here than just her character. There was the possibility the surgery wouldn’t work. That she would be lost in the darkness forever. Not a thought to perk up her mood, she reminded herself.

“I can’t ride,” she told the other woman. “But I can still do the grooming and help out in other ways.”

“Then that’s what I’ll use you for.”

“I like working with the horses. Flower sure made a difference with Heidi.”

“They usually do. Riding is an act of mutual trust. Kids who have been betrayed by someone who is supposed to love them aren’t big on trust. We start with a horse. It builds confidence.”

“Did you study this?”

Rita laughed. “I have a lot of common sense. Sometimes that’s better than any fancy education, if you ask me.”

Izzy was less sure about her common-sense profile. “I’ve done a lot of dumb things in my life.”

“Who hasn’t?”

“I went swimming with sharks.”

“Then you are an idiot.”

Izzy laughed. “So college would help me?”

“It’s a must.”

“I never went. I hated school and couldn’t wait to be out. I bummed around Europe for a few months, then came back here and joined a ski patrol in Colorado. From there it was an easy downhill slide…no pun intended.”

“I’ve never been skiing. I know they have programs for the blind, but I really hate the cold. So what do you want to study?”

Izzy hesitated. Not because she didn’t know but because the idea was so new, so tender, it could easily be crushed.

“Psychology,” she said at last. “Child psychology. Specifically childhood traumas. I want to help children like Heidi. But going back to school? I don’t know if I can do it. School was never my thing.”

“You were never motivated before. You are now. They say that returning women are the most successful students in college.”

“Seriously?”

“Sure. Start small. Go to community college, then transfer. It’s the same classes at a slower pace.”

Community college? Izzy hadn’t thought of that. “It makes the process seem more manageable,” she admitted.

“Or you could just stay here and marry Nick.”

Izzy was glad she was sitting down, but hated that she couldn’t see Rita’s expression. “What?”

“You heard me. I may be blind, but I can see what’s going on between the two of you.”

“But we…I…What?”

There was something going on, but it was just that they liked each other and were going through something intense. He had helped her last night, which she appreciated. But married?

“I don’t do commitments. Never have.” That would require trusting someone to be there, to take care of her. Not her strong suit. “And Nick isn’t looking for anything permanent.” Until he could at least start on the road to forgiving himself, he wasn’t in a position to care about anyone.

“He’s a good guy. I’ve known him a while now. And he’s supposed to be decent eye candy.”