She rolled her eyes. “Call it a quirk.”
“I call it smelly, but you go have fun. I’m sorry you can’t see the show. Tim Gunn is such a hottie.”
Izzy waved and walked to the back door, then opened it and stepped into the darkness.
She realized her mistake at once. While there were lights around the property and she knew the general location of the gym, she couldn’t see it. There was no big, looming shape to guide her.
“One creepy cave at a time,” she told herself, remembering Rita’s words of encouragement.
Closing her eyes, more out of habit than need, she imagined the location of the various buildings on the property. The barn was directly ahead, the gym to the right. If she missed the gym, she would run into the fence, so she didn’t have to worry about getting lost. Unfortunately she’d never counted the steps to the gym. Something she would do in the morning.
But for now, she simply had to go on faith. She opened her eyes—not that she could see all that much—and struck out in what she hoped was the right direction. A minute or so later, she saw the door to the gym, illuminated in the darkness. As she stepped inside and hit the light switch, she realized it had never occurred to her to go back into the house and ask Aaron to take her.
“Progress,” she told herself.
The gym had every piece of equipment imaginable. Izzy considered the elliptical, then found herself wandering over to the rock-climbing wall. She’d done it once before. It had been hard and terrifying, but satisfying. Could she do it again?
She found the ropes and harness. Climbing alone wasn’t smart, but she was experienced enough to handle it. And if she fell, she would pick herself up again. Or not. Either way, she wouldn’t be afraid.
She climbed slowly, carefully, feeling her way up the wall. Sweat poured down her back and her arms trembled but she was determined to reach the top. With each step, each movement higher, she felt stronger and more herself. This was what she liked to do, she thought. Test herself. Experience the rush.
Because thinking about the wall meant she didn’t have to think about anything else.
Izzy stopped in midreach and frowned. Was that true? Was she addicted to the adrenaline rush because it was, in a way most people couldn’t understand, safe? It was a distraction, she knew that.
She grabbed the next hold. Was the hunt for sensation so much of a distraction that it allowed her to forget? Like everyone else, she had issues she didn’t want to deal with. Some people drank, some gambled. She swam with sharks. Because while she was putting her life on the line, she didn’t have to think about the fact that neither of her parents had given a damn about her.
“Seriously?” she asked aloud and stopped again.
Izzy didn’t usually allow time for introspection. She didn’t like it, but here, sweating, in the silent gym facing a wall that didn’t care if she could see or not, everything came into focus.
Pru, her mother, hadn’t seemed to notice she had a second daughter. Izzy always had the sense Pru was looking right through her. As for Jed, his daughters were a means to an end, nothing more. She’d spent much of her life trying to be the son he’d never had. It hadn’t helped, so she’d lost herself in a world of death-defying sports.
“Insight,” she murmured. “Who knew?”
Now that she was dealing with the insights, she found they weren’t half bad. Okay, she wasn’t ready to take up meditation or start a dream journal, but this was good. Knowing why she’d started risking her life was important. But it didn’t mean she had to stop. There were—
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
The voice came out of nowhere and caused her to jump. Not a good thing when she was halfway up a rock-climbing wall. Her fingers slipped, her feet lost their hold and then she was falling toward the ground.
She only had a second to tell herself to relax. If she tensed she would hurt herself more. She took a deep breath and—
Strong arms caught her. She recognized Nick at once and opened her eyes.
He was a blurry mess of features she couldn’t quite see and a body she couldn’t bring into focus. She scrambled to her feet and pointed her finger at him.
“Are you stupid on purpose?” she demanded. “You came out of nowhere and yelled at me. I could have been killed.”
“While we’re on the subject of stupid, what were you doing climbing alone?” he asked, his voice just as loud as hers. “It’s dangerous. It’s irresponsible. Do you know what could have happened?”
“Nothing. I was fine until you decided it would be fun to startle me.”
“You could have broken your neck and slowly asphyxiated. Not the way anyone would choose to go.”