I have. And be careful about who you call a silly girl.
‘Then how do you know who he is?’ I asked politely, suppressing the urge to chuck a salt shaker at my sister’s head.
Maria rolled her eyes as if this should be obvious.
‘We’ve heard the talk, of course. Half of London has been talking about nothing but him for the last three months, ever since he’s returned from the colonies.’
It must have been the wrong half of London, because I hadn’t heard the talk. I fixed a glare on the twins. They were annoying enough under normal circumstances, but now that they knew something I didn’t, their level of annoyance had passed the point of tolerance.
‘Well, what does the talk say, exactly?’
The twins exchanged a meaningful glance.
‘That he’s tall,’ giggled Anne.
‘That he has eyes as dark as night,’ said Maria, fluttering her eyelashes.
‘I wouldn’t say like the night,’ I mumbled. ‘More like the sea on an overcast day.’
They ignored me.
‘That he’s mysterious,’ continued Anne in the same annoying sing-song. ‘He landed out of the blue a few months ago at the Port of Dover, returned from God only knows where in the biggest ship they’ve ever seen down there, with an army of servants and armed guards, and he started buying up property all over town. Nobody has been able to find out who exactly he is or what he wants, and they haven’t failed for lack of trying. Half of Fleet Street[8] has been after him for weeks, but still nobody knows where he or his fortune came from.’
Fortune? So he was rich, then. Yes, I could see by the longing sparkle in my sisters' eyes that he was. Rich and powerful.
Slowly, I put down my knife. I didn’t feel much like eating, all of a sudden.
‘That he’s secretive and secluded,’ added Maria, the corners of her mouth going down. ‘He’s practically shut himself up in that place he’s had built in Leadenhall Street - almost never comes to any balls or dinners. And if he does, he acts as if the ladies in the room don’t even exist.’
The corners of her mouth went down a little farther, and her delicate white hand tightened into a fist. At any other time, I might have enjoyed speculating about the reasons behind this, but right now I was far too busy. On top of half a bowl of porridge, I now had a big lump of information to digest.
Government official my ass! Mr Rikkard Ambrose was considerably more than an official. Considerably more dangerous. An official had to answer to the government. This man… did he answer to anyone? Again, I remembered how his henchman had hauled off the fat swindler into the mist. For the first time I realized that I had no idea what happened to the fat man. I didn’t even know whether he was still alive.
And then there was the question of which mysterious methods Mr Rikkard Ambrose had employed to acquire the fortune he apparently possessed. Not by inheriting it from a noble ancestor, apparently, which was the approved method for good, upper-class English gentlemen.
‘Um…’ I had to swallow to get rid of the lump in my throat. ‘You mentioned his wealth. How wealthy is he, exactly?’
‘How wealthy?’ Maria scoffed. ‘Why, he is only rumoured to be one of the richest men in the entire British Empire. That is all.’
‘Lilly?’ Ella asked suddenly, her voice sounding concerned. ‘Are you not all right?’
I clutched the edge of the table with both hands, not knowing how to answer. I wasn’t sure myself. What had I gotten myself into? ‘I… I feel a little faint,’ I finally mumbled. ‘That’s all.’
But that wasn’t all. Definitely not.
The rest of the meal passed in a blur. I couldn’t force another bite down. I could hardly force myself to remain in my seat. As soon as the others put down their forks and knives, I sprang up and rushed out the door.
‘Lillian,’ I heard my aunt call after me. ‘Lillian, stay here! You can’t go! It is time for your embroidering lesson.’
I didn’t listen. The only thing I ever managed to do at embroidering was perforate my fingers, anyway.
Bounding down the hall, I rushed out through the back door and into the little garden. The small green space welcomed me, its high walls shielding me from all that lay beyond - the bustle and noise of the city, the stench of smoke drifting over from distant factories, and of course… him.
Quickly, I crawled into a little shady space behind a few bushes and hid. It was a favourite place of mine whenever I wanted to be away from my aunt or be alone with my thoughts. With the gently swaying green brush around me, almost hugging me close, I felt safe and protected from the world for a change. A world that seemed determined to turn me into something I was not and would never be.