‘Um… I can’t let her see me like this.’ I gestured at Uncle Bufford’s old trousers. ‘She would be very upset.’
To be honest, 'very upset' was putting it mildly. But I thought it better to couch it in gentler terms for the benefit of my little sister.
Ella clutched her hands in front of her chest. ‘Oh, you are right! Oh, Lilly, what shall we do?’
‘Err… change?’ I suggested. ‘At least I should. You are fine as you are.’
‘Quite right!’ A beaming smile spread across Ella’s face. ‘And then we will go down to see Aunt?’
‘Yes, yes.’
Quickly I went to the big old wardrobe that took up a considerable portion of the room. Its size was hardly justified by its contents: one coat and two dresses for each of us. No ball gowns, no large collection of dresses like many of the ladies in town possessed.
Originally, there had even been only one dress for each of us, until I had pointed out to my dear aunt and uncle that if one dress got dirty, you needed a second one to change into, since it was hardly proper for a lady to run around stark-naked. Grudgingly, my uncle had conceded the point and opened his precious purse to buy each of us another dress. The plainest and cheapest that could be found in the city of London.
This was the dress I now took out of the wardrobe, not forgetting to thank the Lord for my uncle’s stinginess. The very fact that it was so plain made it a marvellous camouflage for dodging the prospective suitors my aunt flung at me at regular intervals.
‘Here, hold this for a moment, will, you?’ I asked Ella, with one hand starting to open the belt which held Uncle Bufford’s old trousers in place, and handing her my favourite armour against suitors with the other.
You aren’t likely to need it to fend off many suitors, though, are you? said a nasty little voice in the back of my head. Not as long as you look so unlike a girl that the most masculine of men doesn't even recognize you as female.
‘Help me put this on, will you?’ I said to Ella, to drown out the annoying voice in my head. I would not think of Mr Ambrose again. I had done more than enough of that in prison.
‘Of course,’ she responded with a sweet smile and was just about to unbutton the dress when a knock from the door froze her in place. That knock managed to drive all thoughts of Mr Ambrose out of my head far more successfully than any attempts on my part.
‘Ella? Ella, are you still in there? Who are you talking to?’ The high tones of my aunt’s voice penetrated the door. I would have said her voice sounded something like a piece of chalk being dragged across a blackboard, but that would be an insult to chalk all over the world.
Before I could stop her, Ella smiled and cried, elated: ‘It’s Lilly, Aunt! She has come back!’
There was a pause. It was filled with the threat of sudden and violent doom. ‘Lillian? Is it true? Are you in there?’
For a moment I considered shouting back, ‘No, not really’ - but then I gave up. There was no sense in pretending anymore.
‘Yes, Aunt, I am here.’
‘Come out at once! I wish to speak with you. You have a lot to explain, young lady!’
On tiptoes, I went to the door and bolted it.
‘What are you doing?’ Ella mouthed at me, her eyes wide.
‘Protecting our necks,’ I mouthed back at her.
‘I’m sorry, Aunt, but that will have to wait a while,’ I called out. ‘I’m dressing at the moment.’
‘So what? I am your Aunt. I have seen you dress since you were a little girl.’ She turned the doorknob and pushed - but the door wouldn’t budge. ‘Lillian? Lillian, don't tell me this door is bolted!’
‘That’s fine,’ I answered in as light a tone as I could manage while frantically unbuttoning Uncle Bufford’s waistcoat. ‘I won’t tell you, I promise.’
‘Don’t get smart with me, young lady! Is this door bolted?’
‘You just asked me not to tell you that. So I can’t, even though technically it actually might be true.’
‘Lillian!’
Oh-oh… maybe I shouldn’t push her too far.
‘Yes, Aunt, it is bolted.’
‘Then unbolt and open it at once.’
‘Sorry, I can’t do that.’ Quickly, I ripped the waistcoat off and stuffed it under my pillow. Now I was standing half-naked in my room, dressed only in striped trousers, a corset and a top hat which for some reason hadn’t fallen off my head yet. ‘I, err… I am preparing a special look for myself today. You always say how I don't look ladylike enough, don't you? Well, I’m giving it a special effort today, and I want to surprise you.’