Can I just say that remark miffed me more than a little bit? I wasn’t that badly behaved, was I?
Was I?
Well, maybe sometimes. When I felt like it. Which was, admittedly, most of the time. Oh, blast it! Very well. I would do as my aunt wished. Fixing a fake smile on my face, I curtsied as deeply as I could without keeling over.
‘Certainly, Madam. May I be permitted to withdraw from your presence? I wish to seek out my sister.’
My aunt blinked as if she were seeing and hearing a mirage and not her own niece.
‘Um… very well. Go ahead. That was not bad, just now. Not bad at all.’
I curtsied again. ‘Thank you very much, Madam. You are too kind, Madam. Your obedient servant, Madam.’ Curtsying twice more just to make the point, I withdrew.
On the other side of the coach, I met my sister. Unfortunately, it was the wrong one. I smiled at Maria as brightly as the sunshine and did another curtsy.
‘Dear Sister! How glad I am to see you. Might I enquire where I can find my dear, dear, dear sister Ella? I wish to speak to her, my dear.’
Maria stared at my bright smile with open eyes, her mouth forming a little 'o'.
‘Have you been drinking from uncle’s port wine?’ she demanded.
I wish I had. I had never tried alcohol myself, but I’d heard it was pretty good for numbing the brain and lessening the pain of torturous experiences - like the one I was going through right now.
‘Good heavens, no, dearest sister. Whatever can have given you that impression? I would never be so presumptuous! Moreover, why would a lady even think of drinking spirits? What an outlandish idea, my dearest sister.’
I smiled again, and curtsied again. And again. Maria was dumbstruck. Blimey, my acting skills were fantastic. I should really consider going on the stage.
‘I shall depart now and go looking for dear Ella, my dear Maria.’
I was hardly around the corner when my smile flickered and went out. Blast! This would be difficult to keep up.
I met Ella as she was leaving our house on Wilkins' arm. Immediately, I switched my smile back on and positioned myself on her other side. From the still-open door of our house, I caught a whiff of exotic flowers.
‘New bouquets?’ I asked her in an undertone.
Ella turned her wide, pleading eyes on me.
‘Half a dozen of them! He has told me that my lips look like rose petals, and my hair like sunflowers, and my skin like lilies, and he apparently thinks it necessary to bring me copious quantities of all that vegetation every time he makes a comparison. Please don't leave me, Lill!’
I patted her arm. ‘Don’t you worry. I’m right here.’
For a moment she closed her eyes in silent gratitude. She looked about ready to faint. And this time, I was ready to bet her anxiety had nothing to do with the fact that the man next to her wished to marry her against her will. A knight of the British Empire was leading her by the arm! That was enough to make Ella faint any day.
I, personally, didn’t have such a high opinion of Britain’s aristocracy. They didn’t seem to have anything better to do than to roam their lands shooting pheasants and foxes. Not that I missed those - I had met a pheasant in Green Park once, and it had squawked at me in a most unpleasant manner, enough for anybody to want to shoot it - but still, they didn’t seem to be a very productive sort of bird[35]. The aristocracy, I mean, not the pheasants.
We all walked to the coach, Wilkins taking the place on one side of her while I squeezed myself in on the other side, in easy slapping distance of his face. With his long nose and over-large ears, he didn’t seem like the sort of chap who would suddenly start ravishing a young lady, but then, you could never be sure. I wanted to be close so he wouldn’t get any quick ravishing done while I wasn’t looking.
‘Well,’ Sir Philip said, beaming widely. ‘Isn’t this cosy?’
Not for the first time I wondered whether there was something wrong with his brain.
The others climbed in after us, the driver jumped onto the box and off we went. The coach wheels rattled on the cobblestones as we moved towards Lady Metcalf’s residence at a brisk pace. Needless to say I didn’t know how long the drive was going to be. I was not a regular visitor there.
Just before we turned around the first corner, I looked back and saw a figure standing in front of our neighbour’s house. Even at this distance I could see the anguished look on Edmund’s face. My, my. The chap had really got it bad. I was so glad I didn’t have anything to do with this stuff called love and never would be stupid enough to. It never seemed to work out right.
Suddenly, Ella turned her head to look back, and I quickly turned forward again, fixing my new official ball-grin on my face. It was hard to keep up. The expression on Ella’s face as she gazed at her love disappearing in the distance was like a poisoned dagger to the heart of a loving sister.