"Where are you going?" I ask.
"Out. Don't bother waiting up for me."
He says it with such finality that I don't bother asking anything else. And just like that, he grabs his keys and walks out the front door.
I decide I've had enough emotional ups and downs for one evening, and I head upstairs to soak in a bath and then go to bed. I walk into my master bathroom, and start the water. Bathing is a ritual that I enjoy, and I look around for the perfect accent. I see it—a purple and white-swirled, lavender-scented bath bomb. That sounds relaxing—the perfect remedy to clear my head—so I undress and drop it into the water, watching it spin and fizz until the water is frothy and the entire bathroom smells like I'm sitting in a field of lavender flowers. The warmth of the water stings my skin—I like my baths hot—the hotter the better, and I slowly sink my shoulders down further into the perfumed heat of it all. My noisy thoughts die down and become hushed, and a sense of tranquility settles over my body like a familiar, comfortable blanket. And it's only when my fingertips become wrinkled raisins that I decide to get out.
I finish preparing for bed, and when I finally find myself slipping in between my sheets, my mind begins to race again. I shut my eyes and try to drown it out. Go to sleep, I tell myself, trying to will it to happen. But it doesn't work. I keep hearing Lance's words replaying in my mind, " I've decided to go to Europe for the summer." What made him decide to go to Europe? And why for the entire summer? Is he trying to end things between us? Is he trying to avoid me? Or did something happen between him and his father? Things seemed sort of strained between them at dinner. If so, why not just come out and tell me that's what he wants? Does he think I can't handle the truth? As much as I don't want to admit it, the idea of not having him here makes me feel lonely. I'll be physically and emotionally starved. What am I going to do without him? I crave his strong touch. My mind goes back to that first day in the dressing room at Saks Fifth Avenue… and the day in the limo… both close quarters… his strong, rock-hard body so close to mine. My pulse quickens just thinking about it. I also think about his icy blue eyes, and the way they can pierce through me in unexpected ways, and his massive manhood—the way he fills me up like no other man. I grow wet just thinking about him.
Then I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. It's Michael. I can smell his cologne, and judging by the way his feet fall in uneven movements, I know he's drunk. I can even hear his shoulder dragging against the wall for upport. He's trying to steady himself. It's amazing he even got himself home. I wait and wonder if he's going to come into my room. But when I hear him walk past my door, I know he is heading for the couch in his study and he isn't going to say anything to me. I hear him flop down in his upstairs study and within moments he is snoring.
What am I doing? Maybe Lance was right. It's like I don't exist to Michael. I'm just a means to an end. How can I be happy living in the same house with a man who doesn't love me and who refuses to show me affection? He didn't even once thank me for tonight's dinner. And with Lance in the house, I crave affection even more. I crave Lance. His touch. His body. His manhood. I need him. There's no way I can fall asleep right now.
I decide to do something that I never thought I'd do. I quietly step out of bed. I don't know why I'm being so quiet. Michael is passed out. There's no way any amount of noise will wake him up tonight. But I continue to take light steps down the hall until I reach Lance's room. I lean toward the door trying to detect any sounds, but there's nothing. He must be asleep. I slowly turn the knob and push the door open. I see him, with his full figure; the light from the hall illuminated the chiseled muscles of his chest. He's asleep. I walk in toward the bed, and then I lift the comforter and join him.
Lance
I open my eyes as I feel the door cracking open, soft footsteps making their way toward my bed. My eyes try and adjust to the fucking darkness in the room, but all I see is a silhouette walking toward me and sitting down on the bed, the mattress shifting under the added weight. That’s all I need, though. I could recognize these feminine curves everywhere.
“What are you doing here, Jocelyn?” I whisper as she pulls softly on the sheets, getting under them. She nestles her sweet body close to mine, the touch of her warm skin waking up that old fucking hunger. I turn to her, laying one hand on her waist as my eyes meet hers. Just touching it almost makes me lose all fucking control.
“I just had to come,” she whispers, my eyes following the movement of her full lips. She just had to come? Oh, I’m going to make her come, alright.