Niamh smiled. “That will just mean there’s no rush after all.”
Ethan and I walked to my house in silence. He stopped at the bottom of the porch steps. I looked down at him. “You want to come in?”
He beamed at me like I’d offered him a slice of chocolate cake. “I would, unless you need some time alone?”
I shook my head. “Actually, I don’t want to be alone right now.”
I went inside, making sure not to make too much noise so I didn’t wake anyone up. Ethan followed me down the hall to the kitchen. I grabbed two sodas from the fridge and sat at the table beside him.
“You okay?” he asked.
I shrugged and wiped at the condensation on the soda can. “Yeah, I think so.”
He reached over and cupped my hand, pulling it away from the soda. “Come on, talk to me.”
“I’m trying,” I said and took a deep breath. “But it isn’t something that comes easy for me.” My voice trailed off, barely a whisper.
I watched as he lightly brushed his fingers over my hand. His gaze flicked up to mine. “I know. I’m not trying to push you.”
I nodded. “Trusting is... hard for me, too. I didn’t want to trust Liam or any of them. But I ended up with no choice. Now with Samantha and Ciarán, I don’t know what to think.”
“You mean you think they’re up to something?” he asked.
I sighed. “No. I don’t know, not really. But if I hadn’t known my mother my whole life and she showed up, I know I’d want her to like me. I’d want to impress her. I wouldn’t blame Samantha if she was trying to help Aoife. But it would really suck.”
“I was thinking the same thing, but you said Niamh can read minds. Wouldn’t she be able to tell if Samantha was lying?”
“That’s true, you’re probably right.” I kept my eyes on his hand, still tracing circles on mine.
“Hey,” he said. The fingers of his other hand brushed along my cheek. “We’ll figure this out. Whatever it takes.”
I tried to smile. “My head is all over the place.”
“You know,” he said, walking his fingers up my arm to rest on my shoulder. “I’m not trying to brag or anything, but I’ve been told I give a pretty decent hug.”
I laughed. “Yeah? By who, your mom?”
He unfolded himself from the chair and placed his hand over his heart, shaking his head. “Ouch. That was a really low blow. Come on.” He motioned for me to stand up and held his arms open for me.
I gripped the edge of the table and stared up at him for a moment. “You’re serious?”
“I never joke about hugs.” His arms were still wide open and he curved his fingers at me.
I drew in a deep breath and stood. Ethan reached out with both hands and smoothed the hair back from my face. Moving his hands down to my shoulders, he gently tugged me forward.
“It’s okay,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. He held me close as I inhaled his clean, warm scent. God, it felt good. I let myself go, burying my face in his shirt. My arms wound their way up around his back.
For several minutes, neither of us said anything. I felt a fissure crack down on the fortress of my emotions. Things I hadn’t let myself really feel for so long -- fear, love, pain, all of it came rushing over me. There was something right about being here in his arms. I’d been so blinded by my sense of, what -- duty? Responsibility for my mother’s condition? Whatever it was, I’d wasted years hardening my heart when I should have been letting someone inside. Someone like Ethan who was strong and patient and refused to give up on me.
I lifted my head and with one hand, reached up and placed my palm against his cheek. “Thank you. For not giving up on me, even when you should have.”
He turned his head and kissed my palm. “I don’t need magic powers to know you’re the one for me.” He shrugged. “I’ve always known.”
It was crazy to feel happy when everything outside of the kitchen was so uncertain. But I reminded myself, I needed to let that go. There were things I could control and there were others I couldn’t. Right then, where I stood, I couldn’t do anything to change things. And just like that, the weight of all that guilt was lifted from my shoulders. I felt... good.
I smiled, really smiled at Ethan and he took a step back. “I better go. I have to work in the morning.”
I stared up into his eyes, an urge to show him how I felt rose up inside me.
“Wait,” I said, my heart rate picking up. He raised a brow. Placing my hands on his chest, I took a deep breath. I didn’t have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, but it was time to be brave. I stood on my toes and kissed him, just a quick peck on the lips, but it was a big deal for me. As I pulled away, he reached for me. His eyes searched mine before he closed the distance between us. It started out gentle and sweet. He ran his hands up my neck and touched each side of my face. I lost myself in the softness of his mouth as the kiss deepened into something desperate and full of need.