“Honey, you’re crushing me.” She tapped her hands against his shoulders.
He chuckled, taking more of his weight on his arms than on her. “Sorry.”
“Believe me, I love having you pressed against me, but I need to breathe.”
He pulled free and rolled off her. He sat beside her, his knees drawn up, so he could take care of business. He stared down at the torn condom and everything inside him went cold. “Fuck.”
Sadie rolled to her side and laid her hand on his arm. He raked his fingers through the side of his hair and held tight, trying to figure out a way to tell her that didn’t make her panic the way he felt inside.
“Rory, honey, what is it?”
He stared straight ahead, but closed his eyes, savoring that sweet honey on her lips. “I don’t know how to say this.”
“You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”
“Uh, the condom broke. I don’t know what happened.” He covered his face with both hands and scrubbed them up and down over his eyes. “Fuck. I’m sorry, Sadie.” He wanted her for the rest of his life, but he didn’t want to trap her into spending the rest of hers with him. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not this way.
Her hand contracted on his arm. He met her steady gaze. “Honey, it was an accident. A fluke. It happens.” She sat up next to him, her hand still on his arm. “It wasn’t in my immediate plans, but if I am pregnant, I won’t be upset about it. I’ve lost so much lately, but I found something amazing with you.”
“I don’t know what to say, except I will take care of you and our child. I promise.”
“If it happened.”
He nodded, but still felt he’d failed to protect her. After all she’d been through with her father and brother, she deserved a chance to do whatever she wanted. Not be tied down without choice. The weight of responsibility settled on his shoulders.
Sadie gave him a quick kiss, hoping to erase the last of the concern from his hazel eyes. She didn’t know what else to say to ease his mind. This could be huge—for both of them. A life with him and a baby would be such a joy.
Rory tugged on his clothes, pulled on his socks, and stuffed his feet in his boots. He’d settled back into his quiet intensity. She’d give him time to let things settle in his mind. He needed to mull things over, think things through, plan every possible scenario. He took responsibility seriously. One of the many reasons she loved him.
She dressed quickly, sat on the blanket, and put her own socks and boots back on while he cleaned up the food wrappers and packed up the containers. He tapped her in the shoulder with a water bottle. She took it, noting he didn’t really look her in the eye. She hoped by the time they got back to the ranch he’d have it all worked out in his head.
Rory packed up the rest of their supplies and readied the horses. It gave her a minute to think about being a mother. She’d thought about it in the abstract. She loved kids, and babies especially. She placed her hands over her lower belly and smiled, the image of a tiny blond-haired hazel-green-eyed bundle in her arms who looked just like his daddy filled her mind. The spark that image flared to life in her heart grew until her chest ached with wanting it.
She turned to Rory, spotted him staring at her. He held the reins to both horses. God, the man couldn’t look more gorgeous in jeans, boots, and that black Stetson. His eyes narrowed on her and she smiled, because deep inside she was happy. Under all the grief about her father’s passing, the worry she always carried for Connor, and the uncertainty about her future, she couldn’t deny the well of happiness building as dreams of her life with Rory and their child sprouted and bloomed in her heart and mind.
She closed the distance between her and Rory.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice soft with concern.
“Honey, I’m fine. You brought the condom. You used it. What happened isn’t your fault. Until we know for sure, don’t dwell on what was nothing more than an accident, or fate.”
He gave her another of those silent nods that said nothing, but spoke volumes. She took her reins, planted her foot in the stirrup, and raised herself up into the saddle. Her horse danced sideways.
“Careful,” Rory warned, his grip tight on the horse’s bridal, steadying the horse.
By the time they rode into the ranch driveway, the silence between them had grown deafening. Rory dismounted and walked to her. He grasped her hips and pulled her from the horse, setting her gently on the ground. The muscle in his jaw ticked as he stared down at her for a long minute, then turned and pulled the blanket and lunch sack from his horse.