“At least one of us won’t be sleeping alone tonight,” Colt grumbled.
Halfway up the stairs, Rory casually said, “Don’t worry, you can take my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“I don’t want to kick you out of your bed.”
They entered Rory’s massive bedroom and stood in front of the king-size bed. She wanted to ask him to stay, but didn’t know quite what to say. She didn’t want to be alone.
Rory cupped her face in his big calloused hands and stared down at her. “As much as I want that to be our bed, this isn’t how I want our first time to be. I won’t take advantage of you or the situation. You’re sad and don’t want to be alone. I get that, but that’s not a reason for us to make love tonight for the first time. It should be you and me in that bed because we want to be with each other, not because you need a distraction. I’m not saying that’s all it is, I’m saying I want it to be only that you want me.”
She slid her hands up his chest over tight muscles and sighed because she wanted to yank his shirt off, feel his skin against hers, and lose herself in his arms. But he was right. She couldn’t say that wanting him, taking that next step in their relationship, wasn’t prompted more out of her grief and need to connect with him than it was the overwhelming urge she always felt in his presence and when she thought about him to be closer to him. She’d never felt this kind of deep attraction to someone. He wanted that attraction to be more than a physical release or consoling her. He wanted a commitment and a promise of a future built on trust. He didn’t want to be used even in the smallest way.
They hadn’t talked about sleeping together, though everything was leading them in that direction. He’d given her the truth about how he felt, so she found the bravery to give him back the truth and do so bluntly.
She met his intense gaze and held it. His heart thundered under her palm. “I want you. More than I’ve ever wanted a man in my life. Not because you’re gorgeous and kind and sexy as hell.” That earned her a cocked-up eyebrow and a surprised grin. “I want you because you’re Rory. The way you make me feel when I think about you, when I see you, when you hold me, when I hear your voice, when I see you on a horse and in your truck.” The last made him chuckle and shake his head. “I can’t explain why all the simple little things you do drive me crazy to want to touch you, but they do. But when you smile at me, I’m lost. I want you. What we have is something deeper than finding distraction and relief in sex.”
“I’m not really against either of those things. But the first time should be—”
She pressed her fingertips to his lips, cutting off his words. “More.” She sighed out the weariness building inside her. “It’s not fair.”
“What?” He rubbed his hands up and down her back, relaxing her against his big body.
“My family keeps getting in the way of what I want.”
“Sadie,” Ford called from the bedroom door. Her phone chirped with a text message. “I’m sorry to interrupt. Here’s your stuff. Your phone hasn’t stopped in the last few minutes. Someone is desperate to hear from you.”
Sadie fisted her hands in Rory’s shirt at his sides, groaned out her frustration, leaned back, and stared up at him. “See. How much do you want to bet that is my brother?”
“I don’t make ridiculous bets.”
Sadie let go of Rory and reluctantly stepped out of his arms and took her things from Ford’s outstretched hands. She dropped her tote bag on the bed and dug through her purse for her phone to stop the annoying noise it made because she’d missed several calls, and her brother now sent text after text.
UNKNOWN: Where are you?
UNKNOWN: What happened to Dad?
UNKNOWN: Talk to me!!!
UNKNOWN: Tell me what’s going on!!!!!!!!!
Tired beyond words all of a sudden, she sat on the edge of the bed and raked her fingers through her long hair.
Rory waved Ford off. He left them alone. Rory sat beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
“You need to get some sleep.”
“I will.”
“I’m going to take a quick shower, unless you want me to stay.”
“I got this.”
Rory kissed her softly and brushed his fingertips across her cheek. The compassion and warmth in his eyes eased her heart and the rising tide of nerves in her belly. She hated to deliver such sad news to her brother because there was no telling how he’d take it. If he was sober and levelheaded, he’d probably be okay. If he was high and aggravated, no telling what he’d do.