“I’m so sorry. She called me as I was leaving the doctor yesterday. I shouldn’t have said anything, but she could tell I was upset. She just kept asking until I finally broke and told her. Yesterday was really rough for me.”
“You should have called. I would have been here last night.”
“I wanted to tell you in person. I was heading up on Saturday. I’ve been back and forth from Chicago for the last six weeks. I fly up for a few days once a week.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I wanted to see Sarah, and I needed to keep my business going for when she gets out.”
“Why the hell didn’t you just stay up there? That must have cost you a fortune.”
“Well I definitely accumulated some frequent-flyer miles,” I offer a small grin, but judging by the look he is giving me, it’s not enough of an answer. “I didn’t trust myself to be near you,” I whisper, and his eyes immediately go soft.
“Come here.”
He doesn’t have to say it twice. I move toward him and melt completely into his strong arms. He kisses the top of my head before dragging me across his lap. I nuzzle into his neck and ask him the real question.
“How do you feel about me being pregnant?”
“I have no fucking idea. I wish I could tell you I’m giddy with excitement, but that would be a lie. I just don’t know. On one hand, I love you. On the other, we’re not exactly in the best place right now, and adding a baby to the mix just seems like a clusterfuck.” He answers honestly, and even though he’s right, it still hurts to hear him say it. This isn’t how this was supposed to happen, but it’s not like either one of us can change it now.
“You should know you can be as involved or uninvolved as you want. I don’t want you to feel trapped, and Hunter said—”
“Fuck Hunter! If the next words out of your mouth have anything to do with him and my baby, I can’t be held responsible for how I react.”
“You’re acting like a dick.” I sit up with a full-blown smile spread wide across my face. “I’ve missed you. You’re such an ass, but I’ve really fucking missed it.”
“God, Emmy. You have no idea how hard the last two months have been.”
I finally give in, and against my better judgment and all rational thinking, I lean forward and touch my mouth to his. I figured Caleb would devour me, but the slow, soft kiss he places on my lips is even better.
With his eyes wide open, his perfect lips move across my mouth. He slides a hand into my hair and the other around my back, forcing me against his chest. I go more than willingly. I move to straddle him, needing a connection. Even the one inch of space between us is too much. I need more.
“I need you, Caleb.” I move to unbuckle his jeans, but he grabs my hands.
“Not yet, Emmy. I want this figured out. All of it. Because I want you to know that when I touch you this time, I will never ever let you go again.”
“Okay.” I drop my forehead against his, but as my one last show of rebellion, I roll my hips against his hard cock.
“Stop,” he growls, taking my lips in another gentle kiss.
“All right, all right. Where should we start? The baby?” I peek at him through my lashes, not quite sure I want to have this conversation at all.
“I love you. And this is shitty timing, but I think as long as I have you, we can deal with the rest of it together.” He lets out a sigh and rubs his thumb across my cheek.
I look around the room, trying to avoid his gorgeous blue eyes. I know I’m going to cry the minute I land on them.
I try to collect myself but continue to look down. “What about Sarah? Avoiding her didn’t exactly work out so well. I can’t just sit by and watch you spend hours chasing dead ends that may or may not ruin her.”
“Now this is where it gets tricky.” He touches my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. “Emma, I hate her. I will for the rest of my life for what she did—what she took from me. The blame game is a slippery slope, and I can’t seem to find my way off it. You have always been amazing about my past—about Manda. You were even understanding to a point about the way I feel about Sarah. I think that’s why I love you so much. You’re so confident and strong, which is basically the exact opposite of me these days.
“So here it is. I want this with you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. You can’t ask me to like Sarah, but you can ask me to stop obsessing about the hate. So ask.” He stops talking, but my eyes go blurry. Of all the things I expected from Caleb, the words that just came out of his mouth were my absolute best-case scenario. Ones I never even dared to dream about. “Ask,” he urges me as the tears escape my eyes.