I wish I had her calm. I wish those weren’t the words she’d picked. I wish she weren’t related to Sarah at all, but I learned years ago that there is no magical genie to grant my wishes.
“No, she hasn’t paid enough!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “She should be dead, not Manda!”
Before I have a chance to utter another word, Emma rears back and slaps me.
“That’s my fucking sister.” She leans into my face, screaming, tears rolling down her face. “You’re an asshole! I get it! You hate her, but I love her! Would you rather I feel the pain from that night? Because that is essentially what you are saying.”
“It’s not the same, Emma! She’s your sister. I lost my wife!” I yell right back into her face.
Emma’s next words cut so deep that I’m not sure there is any way to repair the damage. “She wasn’t your wife!” she spits out, her chest heaving.
I can’t even begin to contain my rage. “You’re a bitch! She would have been, but your nut job of a sister killed her first!” This whole conversation has become more than just an argument, and it’s quickly spiraling past the point of no return.
“Sure, it’s all Sarah’s fault. Who the fuck leaves two drunk women alone at a bar anyway?”
I actually stumble backwards from the verbal blow. Emma’s eyes immediately go wide and she throws her hands over her mouth, but the damage has been done. She begins to apologize, but I’m officially done listening. I storm past her into my bedroom. I don’t care if it’s rational or not, but to insinuate that the car accident was my fault is the lowest blow someone could ever hit me with. And for the woman I love to throw that bullshit in my face is more than I can handle.
I grab her bag off the dresser and start shoving in her clothes as fast as I can, desperately trying to erase her from my house the same way I’m trying to erase her words from my mind.
Seconds later, I walk through the den and head straight to the front door. I yank it open and hurl all of her belonging into the front yard.
“Get out,” I calmly say in her direction.
“No.” She wipes the tears off her face
“Emma, get the fuck out of my house. I should have seen it all along. You’re no better than Sarah. We are done.”
“Caleb, please just stop for a second and listen.”
“Get the fuck out of my house. Leave!” I yell as loud as possible. The intensity in my voice has her heading for the door. And just because I need to hurt her the same way she hurt me, I say words I’ll never be able to take back. “Emma, while you are pointing the magical finger of blame, you might want to take a look in the mirror. Your sister tried to kill herself four times before you decided to get off your ass and actually try to help. Who knows? Maybe it would have only been one attempt if you had done something instead of pawning her off on Brett. Yeah, it’s obvious how much you love her.” Just as the pain of my words cross her tear-stained face, I slam the door.
I only make it a few steps before the realization of what just happened hits me. I just lost Emma. The only woman who has managed to make me feel since Manda, and now she’s gone too. I reach a hand out to balance on the wall, needing something to support me. My eyes cross the room and see a picture propped up against the wall. I have no idea where she got it from, but Emma must have found one of the frames I used to make for Manda. Inside is a picture of us smiling and laughing, and it breaks me.
I have no control as my legs carry me across the room. I grab the picture and shatter it against the wall—the very same way both of those woman did to me. First Manda, now Emma. I was only half of a man to begin with, so losing Emma should completely destroy me. But there is no way I can put my pride aside and chase her down now that I know that she blames me for the wreck. I’ve blamed myself for leaving that night for years, and Emma’s words just confirmed my guilt.
“PICK UP, pick up, pick up,” I chant into the phone as I pull out of Caleb’s driveway. As soon as I started the car, I burst into full on tears and dialed Hunter. He didn’t answer though. I know he and Alex are probably out at the bar, so I dialed Alex next.
He answers on the third ring. “Hey, hun.”
“Where’s Hunter?” I choke through my tears.
“Shit. Are you okay?”
“No. Where is he?” I hear him pull the phone away from his ear and call for Hunter.
“What’s up, sugar?” Hunter says sweetly.
“It just exploded. Really fucking huge explosion.”
“Fuck.”
“I’m coming home. Is that okay?”