All I wanted to do was devour him.
Get it together. I chided myself. I knew it wasn’t the time to let any of my emotions spill out. I couldn’t let him see how much I wanted him, how much I wanted all of him.
I'd never seen this side of him before, and I wanted to explore it. But I couldn’t. If I let any of my walls down it would get ugly.
And I wasn’t about to let that happen.
This was nothing more than an intelligence gathering. Any information I got here would be useful to my uncle, and it would get him off my back. It would get him off my father’s back.
All I had was my father. I didn't have a family like Greyson did. I didn't have people who wanted me to come to dinner, who loved me.
We must’ve been in Severna Park by now, I could tell by the change in house style and the sprawling expanse of yards. It was a wealthy part of the county, but still relatively close to Annapolis and Baltimore. The way the homes grew in size and the yards grew in expanse I knew we were out of the city and into the suburbs.
Damn, these houses were gorgeous. Not every single one of them was a mansion, but they were all well kept and nice. Nothing like the apartments I grew up in. Glen Burnie had nice areas, but I wasn’t in one of them growing up. I looked up at them with big eyes and tried to imagine what life would've been like growing up here.
No, I just couldn’t imagine it.
My mom took off a long time ago, and life with my dad wasn’t exactly easy. He was drunk most of the time and depressed even when he wasn’t. I didn’t want for things, but only because my uncle did send care packages.
Who knew that all his generosity would come at such a steep price?
We pulled into a long drive and eventually ended up at the end of it where a large brick home stood. It wasn’t grand by any stretch of the imagination, but it was large and simple. A two-floor brick home with expansive windows and separate garage.
It was huge to me.
“Home sweet home,” Greyson said, only a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
“You don’t like it?” I asked.
“It’s like anywhere you grow up, I guess. It’s nice enough, but it still feels like a cage.” He shrugged, but I could see the sadness etched on his face. Sometimes I swore I saw behind that projection of who he was to the truth. And it was peeking out. “Mom is great, though, she carries the family. It's hard, being married to the mob.” As if I didn't already know that. But it was more than just that.
I could tell by the look on his face.
There was so much more to it, I could tell that much, but he was just so closed off. I didn’t even know him, and I wasn’t sure if I ever would.
He got out of the car and walked around the side, opening the door for me. I got out and smoothed out my blouse looking up at him.
“You’re sure this is a good idea?” I asked.
“It wasn’t my idea. It was my mom’s. I think it would be a worse idea to disobey her,” he said, but he winked. Any chance of serious conversation was gone. I was only going to get the facade of him, and I knew it.
Greyson was so many things, and I couldn’t pin any of them down. It intrigued me. It made me want him. Hell, I always wanted him, but this was different.
It made me want to know him.
I just wasn’t sure how I was going to convince him to show me any of it. We were stuck in this impossible situation together, and now I doubted he would open up to me. I doubted everything.
“Grey! You didn’t tell me your bride to be was so adorable!” A smiling face greeted us and took me in immediately for a hug. I could tell by the smell lingering on her clothing that she’d been cooking all day. “I’m Greyson’s mom, Maeve, but everyone calls me Mae, and you can too.” When she smiled, her eyes turned into small creases revealing the roundness of her face, her plump body hidden behind an apron and a flared skirt. She looked like every mom I’d ever imagined in my fantasies. A kind smile and a warm house. I never had anything like that, and even now I could feel the pain of it deep within my soul. Soft and warm and just… mom-like.
And she raised a man who probably murdered a hundred men.
Looks could be so deceiving.
“Let’s get to the kitchen so that we can get dinner ready, huh? I’ve already got the roast in the oven, but I need help with the potatoes,” Mae wrapped her arm around my shoulders and turned towards the kitchen. “Grey, your father is due home any minute, help yourself to a drink.”
We ducked into the room, and I smiled when I saw two other girls in there working. One looked to be around my age, the other a little older and they were both doing dishes by hand.
“This is Maggie and Mary, two of my girls. Kathryn is still at school, but she should be home soon. We made a mess of it when we did the rolls, but that’s okay. Here let me get you set up with some potatoes and a peeler.”
I got to work immediately, losing myself in the monotonous activity. I didn’t need to talk if I was working hard. I didn’t need to even think about what was going on. About the man sitting in the next room, or the fact that his father was being forced by my uncle into a marriage of the families.
It was all so scary and weird and just unreal to me.
“So, Joanna, how did you meet my son?” Mae grabbed a potato from the basket and started peeling next to me.
“I was working for him, servicing drinks over at the warehouse in Glen Burnie.”
“Ah, I see. And what do you think?”
“He’s strong.”
“He is, all of my children are strong. And he’s fair. At least I hope he is. And smart,” I could tell by the way she was speaking that she wasn’t bragging she was just telling the truth in her mind. I couldn’t disagree. At least not when it came to what I’d seen so far.
“And he took you out and got trapped into a marriage, is that true?” she asked.
“I-” I started, but she held up her hand.
“I do not mean it as an insult. My son has been avoiding settling down for almost ten years now. I’ve tried, but nothing else has worked. I’m almost glad that you came along when you did. You work hard, as I can see, and don’t think I didn’t notice the way you looked at him.”
I blushed, was it that obvious? Was his repulsion as obvious?
“He is blind to any type of affection, at least, outside of my own. His father… he wanted tough. At any cost. You have an uphill battle. I won’t lie.” I looked around. The girls were gone. They'd been so quiet I didn't even notice it.
“They are setting the table,” she answered the question I didn’t ask. “I wanted to get you alone, to look into your eyes and see what was there. You are a good person. I could tell the moment I hugged you. Most women wouldn’t have hugged me back.”
I nodded.
“It will be a lot more fun that I thought, planning your wedding. How can I get in contact with your mother, so that she can help?”
I bit my lip. “I’m afraid it’s just you and me.”
“Oh.” Pity, that was what I saw when I looked into them. I didn’t need anyone’s pity. I was about to shrug her off when I realized what was behind it. Concern.
“It doesn’t matter, we’ll figure it out, right? Greyson never brought another woman home, even when I asked. You must be different.” She looked at me with knowing eyes. “Anyways, let’s get these boiled up so we can finish the potatoes. It’s been a long day, and I’m starving!”
Greyson
I leaned against my chair and looked over across the table to my family. I tried to avoid meals with all of them, especially my father who was sitting at the end of the table. When we were all together, it was like there was a cloud of tension over the family. My father was almost never home, and when he was, he was angry.
My mother, she was the one who ran things. At least inside of this house. She was just like all the other women in the family. Strong, determined, but totally loyal.
My father was never good at being loyal. He probably had more mistresses than he did children. But he had us too.
“So, Joanna, is it? Tell me, Joanna, about yourself.” My father narrowed his eyes at her, but she just sat there, looking completely unfazed.
“Well,” she thought about it for a minute. “I’m twenty-four, a graduate student over at UMBC-“
“Graduate student? What are you studying?”
“History,” she said, her chin raised high. Good girl.
“Ah, a hobby then?”
That cute little frown appeared. I knew better than to interrupt them, neither one of them would appreciate it, so just sat back and sipped my whiskey.
“No, I’m going to be a professor.”
“Not anymore, you aren’t. You’ll have to give that up. Fitzgerald women do not work.”
I saw the anger take over her face, and I wanted to stop her. Wanted to save her. But I needed to see exactly how she was going to react.
“Well, that changed. I have to marry your son, but I won’t give up my career.” She spoke to him like a leader, like she was the one used to giving orders. It was interesting to watch, and no matter how much I knew it was going to backfire, I loved it when her face got red and the tip of her nose flared, just a little bit.
She must not have been close with her uncle, or she’d know the way the family works.