The words he’d been going over in his head suddenly vanished. His hand, always steady with a Glock, trembled as he opened the lid of the jewelry box.
Looking up, his vision was blurry. His tears and the candlelight made it almost seem like Caity was wearing a halo. She looked like a dark angel, beautiful and sad.
A warning bell sounded in his head.
Not sad.
He had to be reading that wrong. She was emotional, sure. What woman wouldn’t be when the man she loved was on one knee, clearly about to propose? He was emotional, too. He closed his eyes and concentrated until the words he’d practiced came back to him.
Then he looked up and took a big breath so he could get it all out in one go. “Caitlin Cassidy, I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I don’t want to go through one more day without telling you that I want us to be together always and forever. I can’t bear the thought of ever losing you. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
The room was so quiet he could hear the clock in the corner ticking down the seconds.
His knee throbbed from being in one position too long. “Caity, hurry up and say yes, will you? My knee is killing me.”
“Where did you get the ring?” she asked, her voice hoarse.
Okay. Logical question. He hesitated a moment, because even to him, the truth made him sound like a lovesick puppy. But then again, if ever there was a time to own up to that . . . “It belonged to my great-grandmother . . .” he started.
“And—and you just carry it around with you all the time?”
“Lately, yeah.” By now, his knee hurt like hell, but it was worth it. This was about to be the happiest day of his life. “Mom was keeping it for me. But then when we were working the Man in the Maze case, in Phoenix, I picked it up from her. I’ve had it with me since then.”
“Just on a whim?” Her face flushed.
“Yes. I mean no.” He swallowed hard. “You remember the night in Phoenix when I found you huddled in the closet.” She’d had a terrible dream about her father, and he’d found her there, shaking and shivering.
Nodding, she bit her lower lip. “You climbed right in there with me and held me all night. We shared our first kiss. I could never forget that, Spense.”
“Me either. I—I can’t say for certain exactly when I knew that I was in love. But it was that moment, there, in that closet that I realized I wanted to protect you. Always. Anyway, I picked the ring up from my mother’s, and I’ve been hauling it around on all our cases ever since. I guess some part of me knew you were the one even before either one of us was ready to admit it.”
“Spense . . .” She grabbed his hands by the wrists and tugged him to a stand. “That’s the sweetest, best proposal a woman could ask for.” She leaned into him and pressed her face to his chest. He could feel moisture soaking through his shirt.
She was crying.
They must be happy tears.
He flicked his hand across his own eyes. “That’s a yes?” Taking the ring between his fingers, he prepared to slide it onto the fourth finger of her left hand.
Her body stiffened, then she backed away, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, but no.”
He looked down at the ring, then up at her.
Caity smoothed her palms against her thighs. Her lower lip trembled.
Maybe he hadn’t explained it right with all that talk about wanting to protect her and not being ready to admit to himself that she was the one. He should keep it simple. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Her voice was almost a whisper. “Let’s sit down and talk about it. I’m open to the idea of getting married, someday, but this doesn’t feel right to me.”
Heat climbed up his chest, and the grease burn on his neck seemed to catch fire. He tugged at his collar.
She loved him.
He knew that as sure as he knew he would never let her down one single day for as long they lived. But he was ready to answer whatever questions she had. He swallowed his frustration and tamped down his disappointment. “Tell me what’s wrong. I want to put a ring on your finger.”
She let out a long sigh. “That’s part of my problem right there. It seems like you’re saying you want to make it legal between us.”
“I do.”
“But I don’t need to make it legal. And when you say you can’t bear the thought of losing me . . . I don’t know where you’re coming from. I understand that I seemed upset because of what happened the other night with Grady, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to lose me.”
“So you’re not angry about me getting you kicked off the case?”