“If Noah sent you. Or my dad—”
“No one sent me.” Ryan’s mouth formed a thin line. Either the air force had knocked the playboy humor out of his childhood friend or . . .
Someone had died.
“I wanted to tell you on the plane,” Ryan said. “I came to drag your sorry ass back to Oregon because Lily—”
Crash!
His good hand had taken a cue from his right and released the mug. Dominic struggled to stay upright.
“Not Lily,” he growled. “Not Lily.”
Hell, she was the reason he stayed the hell away from Forever. She’d come to visit him in the hospital once he’d been transferred from Germany to a stateside facility. One look into those beautiful blue eyes and dammit, he knew why she’d come. Then she’d spelled it out for him.
Come home. Let me take care of you. This is our fresh start. The one we always talked about. We can get married and—
“I have your attention now?” Ryan said. “Is that the magic word that will get you into your pants? Say her name?”
“What makes you think I still give a damn?” Dominic snapped. “We broke up months ago. For good this time.”
Ryan laughed, but the sound was brittle and harsh, devoid of genuine humor. Then he cocked his head and, staring at Dominic, said: “How many women have you slept with since Lily?”
“Fuck you,” he fired back. “I haven’t spent the past year pining for a woman I can’t have. That’s your story. Not mine.”
“How many?” Ryan challenged again.
None.
He’d come close, messing around with a woman whose name he couldn’t recall the next day. But he hadn’t slept with her.
Because I didn’t give a damn about her.
Because she wasn’t Lily.
“You still care about her,” Ryan said firmly.
“Yeah,” he admitted. What was the point in denying it now? He’d missed his chance. Not that he had one at this point. “But she wanted a family. Marriage, kids. I sent her away.”
Because I knew I wasn’t good enough for her. Too broken. Too battered.
Dominic looked up at his friend. “And now—”
“She needs you,” Ryan said flatly.
“She’s not dead.” Dominic closed his eyes and let the relief wash over him. It pumped through his veins, one wild rush, and then . . . shit, he felt as if he might faint, right here in his kitchen.
“No, man.” Ryan shook his head. “I would have started with the bad news if she’d been killed. And I wouldn’t have waited five weeks to come get you.”
Five weeks?
He opened his eyes. Had his phone been ringing over and over, the caller ID flashing familiar Oregon numbers he didn’t feel like answering, for over a month?
Probably.
“What happened?” Dominic demanded.
“Someone attacked her.”
The muscles in his messed-up hand spasmed. He wanted to hurt whoever did this. Hunt them down and tear into the bastard who’d dared to touch his Lily.
She’s not mine. Not anymore.
But dammit, there was one organ beating in his chest that hadn’t gotten the message. He would never stop warring with the selfish part of his broken heart that begged him to go home and claim Lily, even though he knew she was better off without him.
“A stranger, possibly drugged or, hell, not taking the drugs prescribed to him,” Ryan continued. He spoke quickly as if reciting a report to his commanding officer. “He came at her with a knife while she was jogging.”
He let out a noise that sounded a helluva lot like an animal that had been hit. But this bullet, this list of facts, wasn’t a kill shot.
“A fucking knife,” Dominic growled. “He attacked her with a goddamn knife.”
Ryan nodded. “Your sister tried to call you and fill you in.”
“I don’t answer the phone,” he said as he sank to the floor beside the pile of clothes. Coffee and shards of his ceramic mug covered the T-shirt and jeans. He didn’t give a damn if the broken pieces cut into him and drew blood.
“Lily’s out of the hospital and recovering fine.” Ryan claimed a spot on the floor beside him. “Except she’s convinced that the cops, including your dad, have it all wrong. Lily believes she was targeted. According to your sister, the physical wounds are healing, but Lily’s terrified. Hell, Noah gave her a job bartending at Big Buck’s just to get her out of the house. But it has become clear to them that she’s not sleeping. She’s obsessed with finding out who hurt her.”
“And they think I can help her?” Dominic asked, his gaze fixed on the mostly empty living space. He holed up in here twenty-four/seven most days, his feet resting on a damn box. He went to the gym and bought supplies. Nothing more. He’d even given up on the PT for his hand. It wouldn’t make a difference. He’d already lost his place with the rangers. He’d lost his dream of providing that best damn future for Lily. He was freaking useless.