So she needed to summon her courage. “If there someone waiting for you? Back in Georgia? After I walked away, after you got out of hospital—”
“No.” His eyes widened. “After what we just did? In your hall? And you think . . . Jesus, Lily. No, there’s no one waiting for me.”
But she kept going, spelling out her fears that had nothing to do with dark corners. “After I left, did you fall in love with someone else? Is that why you didn’t come back even after you’d healed? After you received an honorable discharged. Did you finally find someone worth staying for?”
“I swear there’s no one else, Lily. There never was.” He let out a low, bitter bark of laughter as he raised his good hand to his hair. “I tried once. I picked up a woman in a bar a few months ago. But I couldn’t . . . she wasn’t you.”
“One woman in all those years?” she asked, allowing her disbelief to slip into her tone. “All those deployments?”
She’d remained faithful to him. Even when he broke up with her after Ranger School, claiming the long distance wouldn’t work due to his deployments and her mother’s constant need for care. But she’d always wondered if he’d taken advantage of their time apart. But to wait until after he’d sent her away for the last time? After he’d been discharged and her mother had succumbed to her illness?
“One,” he said. “All it took was a single kiss and I sent her home.”
“You never slept with anyone else?”
“Only you.”
She wanted to believe him. But she’d felt his hunger for pleasure. Tonight, against the entryway wall, he’d made love to her as if his desire ruled him, not the other way around. How could he have pushed all that need aside for so long, not knowing if they would ever find a way to make it work?
The stark truth stared back at her. They’d only made love a handful of times in the past five years. And he’d never turned to anyone else?
“Only me,” she said. “For all those years? All the ups and downs?”
His green eyes narrowed. “If you don’t believe me, why did you make love to me?”
“That wasn’t—”
“Why did you let me fuck you in the hall?” he demanded. “Why did you get down on your knees in the bar earlier? Why, Lily?”
She stared at the hard lines of his face. Even now, his frustration and anger rising up, the answer was clear. “Because I’m safe with you. I can stop looking over my shoulder. I can feel something other than fear when I’m with you. I can escape with you for a little while.”
“Until I leave and head back to Georgia?” he asked.
She nodded.
DOMINIC STARED AT the woman he’d loved since he was in high school. He could still smell her, and taste her. Even the feel of her clit lingered on his tongue. He’d explored the most intimate parts of her.
But he was nothing more than a stopgap. He was comfortable, like a teddy bear. Familiar. Safe. And heading out of town as soon as her life went back to normal. She didn’t have to worry about falling for him all over again, or awakening dormant feelings.
And he didn’t either.
Because he still loved her.
Back in Georgia, holed up in his room with his feet on a damn box, he could pretend he’d loved her in another lifetime. But his heart had always belonged to her. He’d spent most of his life trying to be a better man for her. He’d wanted to give her a future she could trust. She’d grown up with an alcoholic who’d spent more time bouncing from rehab to drunk than he ever spent at a job. Dominic had wanted to give her the best of himself.
And he’d found that with the army. Then it had been blown away. Maybe he could find it again. He hadn’t yet. But it was time to start looking.
“Have you changed your mind?” she asked. “Are you thinking about staying? Asking Noah for that job?”
Hell, maybe it was the alcohol or the fact that he’d finally gotten some sleep. Or maybe his mind was playing tricks on him, but he swore she sounded hopeful. And he wanted to say yes.
But barely six weeks had passed since her attack. And now that they’d caught the guy, her fear would start to fade. Or what if it didn’t? What if her fear held tight and he stayed, never knowing if she loved him or simply wanted a security guard who made her come so hard the walls and tables shook?
“We need to make sure they have the right guy first,” he said. “Then I’ll decide.”
She nodded. “Did you bring the arrest details?”
“They’re in the car.” He set his martini on the coffee table. He’d lost his taste for it now. “I’ll go get the file.”