She lifted her right hand and captured his. She intertwined their fingers. Then she drew their joined hands down to rest in front of her body.
“So you don’t slip away while I’m sleeping,” she said.
“I’ll be right here as long as you need me. I promise.”
“I know.” Her eyelids drifted shut as if the exhaustion was finally taking hold, thrusting aside her near-constant worry. “You never once left without saying goodbye. It’s not your style.”
But I always left.
He stared down at the messy pile of blond hair strewn over his legs. He studied the fading red reminder of the attack on her cheek. He was hard-pressed now to see why he’d left.
The army. Your duty. Your drive to serve. . .
Yes, that was a part of him even now that he’d been sidelined. But why had he pushed Lily away? After her mother died, he should have come home, gotten down on one knee, and taken her back to Georgia. They could have bought a house near the base.
But I never would have been there.
She would have been alone while he deployed, removed from the hometown that loved her and could comfort her while she grieved. But dammit, he should have given her the choice instead of pushing her away.
He looked up and stared out into the dark night beyond the sliding door. On some level, he knew there was more to his messed-up logic. He’d wanted to be more—a man at the top of his game—before he claimed her.
And I fucking failed.
There would never be anyone else for him. He’d always known that even if he’d tried to bury that truth from himself.
Her hand gave his damaged palm a squeeze and he glanced down at her. Her eyes were still closed. And she finally looked relaxed. Peaceful. And yeah, he’d given that to her. For tonight.
But how the hell did he become the man she needed in her life beyond the sunrise?
Chapter Eight
LILY RAISED HER hand and prepared to give the martini another shake. Maybe, after another round—or ten—she’d also shake off the ridiculous impulse to curl up half-naked on the couch with the man who’d walked out of her life over and over.
Shake. Shake.
The man who’d made it clear he hadn’t come home to stay. The man who didn’t bother to leave the house unless he had someone to save—
“Easy there,” her boss called. Noah stepped in front of her and gently slipped the thoroughly mixed drink from her hand. “I know this is only your second martini, but you just need to shake it for ten or fifteen seconds. If the customer orders it stirred, then you can go to town for a full minute. But if you stir with that much energy, you won’t have anything left in the glass.”
“Sorry.” She handed the chilled glass to Noah.
“Not a problem. I don’t expect all the kindergarten teachers that I hire to make a mean martini the first time or two.”
He flashed the easy smile he’d worn back in high school and the years afterward. He’d lost it for a while after he’d left the marines. But ever since Josie had walked back into his life, he seemed to be more and more his old self.
She stole a glance at the brooding, bearded man sitting at the far end of the bar. Maybe with enough time and care, Dominic could find his way back too . . .
Except “back” for him was the army. And she wasn’t in any position to help him. Not when she still woke up screaming at night.
“Look, I’m not trying to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong,” Noah said after the waiting customer disappeared with her drink. “But does your desire to shake that drink into submission have something to do with our friend sipping coffee at the end of the bar? I can make Dominic wait in his truck if that would be easier for you. To be honest, I wasn’t a hundred percent on board with Josie’s plan to drag him back here. Though I do think he needed someone to kick his ass into gear.”
But I’m not sure I’m the one for the job. Even though I’d like a glance at his ass. . .
She turned her gaze to Dominic. “No, I asked him to come inside.”
Even though part of her still held a grudge for how he’d pushed her away over and over while he went off to save the world, she wanted him here. She craved security and last night he’d provided. Along with eight hard inches of proof that he wanted to do more than peek at her panties . . .
She looked down at the rubber mat beneath her feet. Why did it have to be him? After all this time, why did she still want him? And what was she going to do about it?
“If you want him here, Lily, he can sip coffee all night,” Noah said, his voice gentle and so damn kind.
“Thanks.” She looked up at the man who’d been by Dominic’s side almost as much as she had in high school and for some time afterward. “He’s reviewing the police file for me. I was hoping to talk to him about it during my break.”