“Get out,” I growl through clenched teeth.
“But Tommy, you’re not thinking straight—”
“I said get the fuck out! I’m gonna turn nineteen next month a fuckin’ virgin because of you, and you have the balls to come in here and flaunt your fucking plans to get fucking laid tonight?”
“No, Tommy, I didn’t mean that! And I was only doing what I thought best! I swear you’re better off without Madison. You know how much I love you!”
“Yeah? Well I don’t fucking love you at all, you selfish little step-bitch!”
The moment those heated words pass my lips, my seething anger vanishes and I immediately regret ever having spoken them. Especially the step-word, which in our family is nearly as bad as using the B-word... and I went and paired them up!
Ella’s expression shifts from one of insistent pleading, to wounded sadness. With her delicate little chin quivering with emotion, my sister blinks once, twice, and then suddenly leaps off my bed – flinging open my bedroom door and tearing down the hall in a rage.
I call out, “Shit – wait, Ella!” just as her bedroom door slams shut, hard enough to rattle the bookshelf on our shared wall. After that, the house returns to an eerie, uncomfortable state of silence.
Fuck. Now I’ve gone and done it!
My sister’s always been the highly sensitive type, and I know I’m going to have to make a heartfelt apology to Ella very soon. Certainly before dinnertime. But at the moment, we’re both far too emotional. And, frankly, I still feel like feeling sorry for myself.
I mean, seriously... just how pathetic am I that the school slut won’t even fuck me?
Rolling back over to the window and gazing out at the approaching storm front, I take a deep breath and nestle my head in the soothing softness of my down pillow.
Yup... life really does suck.
Chapter Three
Nn hour later, I attempt to apologize to Ella for my rude and mean-spirited outburst – but she doesn’t want to hear it, and merely shoots daggers at me from across her bedroom. I know the tension between us will eventually pass, simply because you can’t live with someone most of your life and not have arguments or the occasional emotional outburst. But seeing my sister so thoroughly wounded from something stupid that I said, makes my heart ache with regret, and all I want to do is make everything better.
Deep down, I only want Ella to be happy. To feel safe and secure. Loved.
Shit. Where’s all that mushy crap coming from? Breaking up with Madison must have screwed me up even more than I realized!
Unfortunately, by the time my sister’s ready to leave for her outdoor concert a few hours later, the weather really has turned horrible – a veritable spring downpour, and it’s actually Ella’s girlfriends who call first to cancel.
Approaching my sister’s bedroom to delicately pass on a message from mom, I hear Ella whispering loudly on the phone and pause just outside her closed door.
“What the fuck, Bree!” she exclaims as a loud clap of thunder rumbles outside the house. “It’s my eighteenth birthday and you’re all gonna just abandon me? You really expect me to go to that thing alone? ...Yeah, I checked, and it’s still happening, even with the weather. You know what we’d planned to do tonight, Bree. No, I don’t care if you already lost it at thirteen, because I sure didn’t, and I’ve been dreaming about this day for like half my life. Ah, fuck. Hold on a sec.”
Just as I’m contemplating whether that last statement means what I think it means, Ella’s bedroom door abruptly flings open. There, on the other side, stands my irate sister – decked out in heavy makeup and what she considers sexy concert-going attire: torn blue jeans, giant chrome studded black leather belt, and a much-too-small red halter top that leaves her entire midriff region exposed.
Considering that it’s a cold April evening and raining cats and dogs outside...
“What the hell do you want, jerkwad?” she spits at me while keeping her cell phone pressed to her chest. Inadvertently, I notice that whatever bra she’s wearing is really giving her an abnormally prominent bustline tonight. “I can see the shadows from your huge feet under the crack, you know.”
“N-n-nothing,” I stutter, embarrassed to have been caught spying on my own sister. “M-mom was just wanting me to tell you that if you’re not going out tonight, then you should come eat dinner with us. And Ella, please – you must know how much I love you, and how very sorry I am from the bottom of my heart for what I said earlier. Please, please, forgive me...”