Stepbrother Thief(96)

I cringe at my sister's bluntness and wonder if I should ask to speak to my grandma? But no. My mom's mom hasn't spoken to me since we moved to France, considering that a betrayal of the worst kind. Two weeks before she died, I listened to my mom call and cry on the phone to Anika, but Gram never called her back. I try not to, but I think I'm still carrying around a lot of anger towards her.

I put a hand up to my forehead. I can't let any of that old pain get to me, not now. I'm already dealing with dredged up hurt, dug up secrets. I force myself to take a deep breath.

“I'll see what I can do,” I tell her, glad that at least we're not arguing, that she's not bringing up the day she ran away to California, moved right onto the Yurok Reservation with my grandma. It's one of her favorite subjects after all—trying to convince me that I made a mistake in not coming with her, that our mother was the bad guy for falling in love again. I feel sorry for her that she never got a chance to really know Cliff or Gill.

Gill.

I swallow hard, my most current and pressing problem making me sweat despite the cool weather.

“I'll call you back when I have a spare moment,” she says and then hangs up on me before I get a chance to say goodbye. I take a deep breath and let it out slow, closing my eyes against the wind.

“Anika, right?” Warm fingers graze my wrist and I jump, spinning to find Gill standing on the deck next to me, once again appearing seemingly out of thin air. “You only ever get that look when you're talking to your sister.”

Gill lets his hand drop and takes a step back, a real sight for sore eyes in his black wool coat, eyes blue and bright and on fire. I can't help but notice that that's new, that flame there. I put it there. Me. Oh God. I take a small step back and smile, blowing air out and up to push some stray strands of hair away from my forehead.

“When you said home soon, you really meant it, huh?” I ask, shoving my phone into my pocket to give my shaking hands something to do. My pulse is pounding and my throat is dry, sweat beading on my lower back as I try to figure out what to say, how to act. It's been three days since I've seen the guy, not three weeks; it feels like three years.

Gill smiles at me, like he can sense what I'm feeling, like maybe he's feeling a lot of the very same things. I watch the wind pick up strands of his dark hair, drag it across his forehead. I want to reach up and brush it back. Without even realizing it, I take a step forward.

Gill's smile turns into a grin.

“Are you just popping in or are you back for a little while?” I ask, feigning disinterest. I couldn't be anymore interested if I tried; he knows that.

“I'm back to stay,” he tells me, the double meaning in his words not lost on either of us. “The only way I'm missing our dinner date tonight is if you'd rather spend it in your bedroom again.”

“Gill.”

“Or my bedroom,” he adds, moving forward and wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling my close. I don't resist—why bother? I think we both know we're beyond that now. No more running or hiding or being angry, none of that. Everything we both think and feel, it's got to be out in the open now.

Because of me. Elena, she's dead because of me.

I swallow hard and push the thought back. Tonight, I'll hear what Gill has to say. For now …

“You called Leilani?” I ask as Gill reaches up and touches his warm palm to my cheek. My fingers tingle with the desperate desire to reach out and touch him, too, while other parts of me … well, let's just be polite and say they tingle, too.

“I thought you could use a friend,” Gill says and then pauses, blue eyes sliding to the side like he's just been caught doing something wrong. “And since she's in the area … I thought it might help you think of this place as home.” I purse my lips, pretend to be irritated with him. Only I'm not. Not at all.

“You didn't think she'd try to talk me out of getting back together with you?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. Gill glances back to me and lifts both of his.

“Already? I thought she'd at least wait a week or so.” He pauses and narrows his eyes slightly. “Why do you think I refrained from calling Anika?” I give him a look.

“Come on now, as much as Anika dislikes you, there's nobody in the world that hates you as much as Leilani.” Gill laughs, leaning his head back for a moment and breathing in the cool crisp air of winter. Autumn is well on its way out, frost already nipping at its heels. The new year's right around the corner, a perfect time to make a fresh start …

“God, I missed you,” Gill says, looking back into my eyes, caressing the side of my face. I don't say it aloud, but I missed him, too. Terribly. And he was only gone for three days. Could I really ever say goodbye again? Watch him walk out and know we could've given this a second chance?