I cut her off.
"We were not rutting," I said indignantly, standing up straight. "We were … necking or something." I flushed. "And anyway, River hasn't stopped over here once since we moved in. How was I supposed to know that she was just going to randomly show up today? At the most inopportune moment, too." I sighed and rested my fingertips on the counter. My homework problem hadn't disappeared with the revelation and there were a ton of errands I still needed to take care of.
I looked Addi straight in the eyes.
"Oh hell no," she said, sounding like Theo for a second, all sass and snark. "I am not going with you to talk to your dad."
"Addi, please. He actually likes you. If you're there and you show him there's nothing to worry about, that I've got someone on my end who supports me, then it might help."
"I think you've gone completely bat shit," she said, but she was already standing up and adjusting her outfit just so.
"Thank you," I blurted before she'd even agreed, coming around the counter to give her a hug. "When you and Patrick have your first kid, I promise to babysit." Addi rolled her eyes and hugged me back.
"Trust me, for this, you'll be babysitting all my kids every weekend, birthday, and holiday. And I can assure you, I'm going to collect."
My dad's car was still in the driveway when Addi and I got to the house. Somehow, I'd managed to make the short drive into an adventure, steering us off on other enterprises. I'd stopped by the store and picked up a few nonperishables, filled up at the gas station, and deposited an eight month old check that I'd gotten from Flor's grandma for my birthday. Eighteen dollars richer and forced to feel Addi's scrutinizing gaze as I weaved around town desperately trying to avoid the unavoidable.
"I can't do this," I told her as we pulled up and sat there in silence for several moments. "I can't face him."
"Abi," Addison said, turning and taking my hands in hers. "If you really love Flor which, to be honest with you, you must because nobody in their right mind would put themselves through so much shit for a fling, then you can do this. Once it's over, no matter what happens, at least it'll be done. You can stop worrying and wondering and get on with your life. Now," she reached over and unhooked my seatbelt, "stand up and move your ass up those steps."
I sighed and did as she said, relieved when she got out of the car and came with me. I'd been half-expecting her to bail.
"Dad?" I asked, stepping quietly inside with Addi on my heels. He wasn't in the living or dining rooms, so I checked the kitchen and saw him out back, elbows on his knees, sitting on one of my stepmother's DIY Adirondack chairs. "Dad?" I slid open the back door and he turned to look at me, a frown creasing his lips as I slipped outside. Instead of coming after me, Addison shut the door behind me and locked it. That bitch. I turned back to my dad and swallowed hard.
"What the hell are you thinking, Abigail?" he asked me, turning his gaze back to my stepmother's garden. It was so perfectly tended, not a weed in sight. All organic, of course. River didn't believe in pesticides, so she pulled each and every weed out by hand, even the spiky ones. "Florian, even in the best of circumstances, is not a man that you should be betting your future on." He scoffed and shook his head as I leaned against the glass and tried to still the frantic beating of my heart. "Even then, he's your brother, Abi."
"Step," I corrected, as I'd done a million times before. My dad glanced sharply over at me.
"You grew up together," he said, voice hard and unyielding. "I brought him up as my own son. Just like River treated you as her daughter."
"I grew up with Addi, too," I said. "I've known her longer than I've known Flor even. And Max. I knew him just as long. Dad, Flor was never a brother to me. He's … the childhood friend I always dreamed of being with." I flushed bright and looked away. This was not the kind of conversation I wanted to be having with my father. "Besides, you never treated him like a son. Dad, you've always hated Flor."
"I don't hate him," he blustered, but I wasn't done talking.
"And River's always been nice to me, but like a distant aunt or something. She was never really my mother either. That whole my kid, my problem thing you guys worked out might've been the perfect solution to keep your relationship strong, but Flor and I aren't siblings, Dad. And I'm in love with him." I took a shaking breath. "And please don't make me choose one or the other of you. It would break me." I felt a little like Ariel in The Little Mermaid, but brushed that aside. This wasn't a shallow, fleeting feeling that would fade with time. Obviously I'd tried that. Didn't work. My love for Flor was like one of my stepmother's weeds. No matter how many times you tried to get rid of it, it came back. And besides, what is a weed really anyway? Just a native plant that grows well where it's supposed to, just something whose value hasn't been discovered yet.
I took a step forward.
"If you think you're going to get my permission to … to … sleep with your brother then you have another thing coming, Abigail." My dad cringed like he'd been struck, shaking his head and standing up. Luckily, when he moved to the sliding door, it was unlocked. Addi, you sneaky bastard. I followed after him as he moved into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of wine.
"I'm not asking for your permission," I told him, putting my fingers in my pockets like Flor always did. "I'm telling you the truth. I'm telling you what's going to happen and hoping you love me enough to accept me for it. Flor and I are going to be together."
"And how did you think it would work when you got married? Had a child?" My father sipped his drink and checked his cell, but he didn't look at me.
"There's no law against marrying your stepbrother." I slid my eyes away and focused on the floor. Call me a weirdo, but it was true: I'd checked. And why should there be? Flor and I were not related, and I didn't consider him my sibling. I didn't care if anybody else did. They hadn't lived my life and it wasn't their happiness that was on the line: it was mine.
"It's sick, Abigail. I don't care if there's a law on the books or not. You have a moral obligation to act a certain way." My dad turned to me and our eyes locked, his just as blue as my own. I wondered suddenly about my mother and what might've happened if she were still around, if Flor and I had met on the street instead. "What about your sister, Abi? Don't you want to have a future with her? If this continues, I don't know if you will."
My eyes filled with tears, but I pushed them back, forcing my hands to stay in my pockets, so I didn't clench my fists.
"It's just love, Dad. We're not hurting anyone."
"Abigail, stop. This discussion is over. You heard what I had to say. Florian is a cancer and I'm cutting him out of our lives."
"What about River?" I asked, refusing to let this go. I had a feeling that if I dropped the ball now, I might never be able to pick it up again. "Do you really think she's going to abandon her son?"
"River can make her own choices," he said, but his voice broke a little on the last word.
"Dad, where is she?" I asked, but he shook his head.
"Abigail, maybe you should consider moving back in with me."
I glared at him and blinked back tears.
"No."
He whirled on me then, a fit of anger and rage and such overwhelming sadness that I thought I was going to die from the onrush of emotions.
"Either you'll move back in here and say goodbye to Florian or we're done."
"You'd give up on me?" I asked. "Just for that?"
"I gave your mother the same choice when she started drinking again, and she chose alcohol over you. Don't make the same mistake, Abigail."
"This is different," I said, but I could see the look in his eyes. It was going to take something big, huge, to change his mind. He truly believed this was the same, that Flor was a drug. At times, he'd felt like one, but I was in love with him. I wasn't giving him up.
"Dad," I started again, but he cut me off, moving across the kitchen and getting too close for comfort.
"Do you want people to look at you differently for the rest of your life? Do you want to be judged? Ridiculed? You won't be accepted if you do this. It isn't right."
"Honestly, Art," Addi said, moving into the room and taking my hand in hers. "If we all lived our lives in fear of that, we'd still be building houses out of mud and thatch. Patrick and I wouldn't be together right now, and Theo and Yuu," she glanced over at me as my dad cringed, "wouldn't be out looking fabulous. I know you love your daughter and want what's best for her, but really, and you know I don't say this lightly, I think the best might be Flor."