"You're a weirdo," I told her, but that didn't wipe the knowing look off her face.
"So. Did you and Flor do it again last night?" I choked on my coffee and tried to play innocent with her (not that it ever really worked). "In your parents' house? You two are way too brave to be sane. You do know that, right?"
"You're jumping to conclusions," I said, but I couldn't keep the smile off my own face. I groaned and slunk over to the couch to sit down. "Okay, so maybe we did fool around a little." Addi raised an eyebrow at me. "Fooled around a lot? Is that better?" She nodded and joined me, perching on the edge of the couch arm with her lithe, dancer's body that I'd always envied. It didn't matter what kind of dance it was – jazz, ballet, tap, swing – she'd done it all and was good at every single one of them.
"So that fight with Max and Rhonda … ?" I sipped my coffee and tried to be grateful that she wasn't rolling her eyes and sighing as she so often did when I mentioned Flor.
"We had sex. In his bathroom. While the two of them were in the house." I cringed and so did Addi.
"I see. So you guys deserved what was coming to you?" I nodded and she sighed, standing up and stretching her long arms over her head.
"Well, I figured it would happen eventually. You both were too into each other to just let it go."
"What would happen eventually?" I asked, feeling a little guilty thrill at her words. I had an idea of what she was going to say, but I wanted another person to voice it before I did, like it'd be more real that way.
"That you two would get together," Addi said with an exasperated sigh. Okay, so maybe she hadn't abandoned all of her traditional Florian related behaviors. Together. Were Flor and I getting together? For real? I didn't want to let myself hope for it, but inside, I giggled like a maniacal schoolgirl. "How are you going to break this news to the family?" she asked, leeching away some of my thrill.
Before I could answer, Theo and his boyfriend, Yuu, appeared, waltzing into the apartment like they owned the place. Apparently we were on those terms now. I didn't mind actually. I enjoyed having Theo around and there was something about Yuu that told me these boys would find a way to make it work.
"What's going on in here?" Theo said, sitting down next to me and stealing my drink from my hand. He took a sip, made a face, and then handed it back. "That is old and disgusting. You need something fresh."
Addi ignored him and decided to divulge my personal secrets.
"Abi and her brother fucked again, once in front of their current lovers and once in their parents' house." I tried not to curl into a ball and die.
"Stepbrother," I corrected. "And it wasn't exactly in front of them."
"She's trying to figure out a way to come out to her parents."
"Oh my God, girl, I have got this," Yuu said, taking the seat opposite me on an overstuffed armchair I'd inherited from my dad. "I am an expert at coming out and trust me, my parents would've preferred I was banging my sister over being gay."
"Step," I corrected again, but nobody was listening to me. Maybe that'd always been my problem? Maybe I didn't speak up enough?
"I threw this big surprise party for my mother's birthday and then in her card I wrote you've now got free fashion advice for life." I snorted and came pretty damn close to spewing coffee all over the floor.
"You did not," I said and Yuu shrugged his thin shoulders, brown eyes blazing as he looked back at me.
"Does it matter? I came out, told them everything, but they freaked and got over it. Now, they invite Theo over for holidays. It was hard and it sucked, but it was better than living with the pain." I bit my bottom lip and glanced away. Yuu was trying to help by comparing our situations, but I still felt like his was harder to deal with than mine. It made me feel like an asshole. "Tell them and see what happens. If they can't accept it, then fuck them." He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, dark hair falling in his face. I knew from Theo's stories that Yuu's parents had moved here from Japan when he was six and that they were super strict with him. Being gay meant not carrying on the family line, meant being a disappointment in a way. But over time, they'd accepted him. Would my parents be the same way if Flor and I were to pursue things?
"I don't want to lose my family," I said, thinking of my dad and all the things he'd done for me. He was a hard ass at times, but he'd also worked his butt off to provide for me. He'd been at every ballet recital, every school play, every concert. I twisted my fingers together around the coffee cup and stared at the lid with laser focus.
"Lose them?" Yuu said, leaning forward again. "If this is enough to send them packing then good riddance." I looked up sharply and he raised an eyebrow at me. "Family isn't just about blood, sister. It's about love and acceptance. Honestly, how can you really have one without the other?"
"Jesus Christ, is this some after school special?" Theo said with a sigh, slapping his hands on his thighs. "Can we please do something ridiculous? Like make cupcakes with vaginas on them?"
"Like you've ever seen a vagina before," Addi murmured, and the three of them laughed. I smiled, but I couldn't shake Yuu's words, even if they were a little cliché. Love and acceptance.
I tapped my fingers on the lid of my drink.
Everything's worth trying at least once, right?
"Fuck that," Flor said, snapping off a black latex glove and dropping it in the trash can near his foot. His current client was at the mirror, turning this way and that as she examined her new tattoo: a very beautiful and very realistic rendition of a calla lily on her hip. It wasn't the most original design in the world, but Flor's skill made the image pop in a way that drew the eye right to it. Unfortunately, it was in the very same spot that my own tattoo was and I was having trouble pulling my mind away from the memory. Had he untied her bikini bottoms the way he'd done mine? With that wicked careful slowness? I mean, she was obviously interested in him. I could see it in her eyes, her hair flipping, her lip licking.
I glanced around the studio, half-expecting Max to walk in at any moment and level us both with that look of contempt and judgment that made my insides shrivel. But On Bent Wings was empty except for Flor, me, and his bouncy blonde client.
"It's absolutely beautiful, Florian," she said, drawing his name out like a promise. I tried not to get jealous, but even though I'd spent years desperately trying to perfect that ruse, it never worked. After that night we'd had on Friday? Wasn't happening. "Can I give you a kiss?" She winked at him and sucked her lower lip under her teeth. Flor slanted a glance my way, unusual for him. Maybe he really is taking this seriously!
"Whatever," he said and she squealed, bouncing forward with her bikini bottoms still barely taped into place. I watched in silent frustration as she threw her arms around his neck and pressed a pink kiss to his cheek. Fortunately, he untangled her before she could meld her body against his. Trying to have a conversation with this girl around had been difficult. I'd tried to wait until he was done, but well, Flor was Flor. I think his words were shit or get off the pot. So, in as cryptic a manner as I could, I offered up my plan of attack for our parents. Fuck that was his most accepting response yet.
"Can I take a selfie with you? I have got to Instagram this shit." I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed. Blonde Bitch turned a glare on me, gave me a once-over that said she wasn't impressed with my ratty jeans and my black tank top, and then pressed her body against Flor's. She snapped a picture with her phone before he could protest and bounced away to collect her jeans. She hadn't been too embarrassed to have her tattoo done right out in the front of the shop, even though she was half-naked from the waist down.
I swallowed hard and watched as Flor took her debit card and ran it through his Square Reader. This girl, with her perfect body and perfect hair and perfect clothes, this what was I competing against. It didn't leave a very pleasant feeling in my stomach. All this time, I'd been so caught up on the fact that Florian was my stepbrother that I hadn't even bothered to wonder about all the rest of the obstacles standing in my way.
Blonde Bitch yammered away as Flor got out a cigarette and leaned in the doorway to the back with it hanging unlit from his lips. To me, he looked bored, but she didn't seem to care. Persistent. I was really going to have to work on that aspect of my personality.