Stepbrother Inked(44)

I raised a hand and brushed the hair from my forehead.

"I know they're not dead, son, don't be a smart aleck. I'm simply  recalling fond memories. Based on your and Max's behavior today, it  might be beneficial for you to do the same, remember some of the things  that have helped you to remain friends for so long."

"Don't shrink me, Mom," Flor said, looking up, the edge of his lip  twitching as he reached out and brushed his thumb across my forehead.  "Only a few minutes in and you've already got it in your hair," he said,  sucking the butter-sugar mixture from his fingertip while I watched,  transfixed.

"This whole thing just seems silly to me anyway," she griped, adding  ingredients to her own bowl without even glancing at the recipe. "Why  would you confront Max out on the driveway like that? And I thought you  said Rhonda couldn't make it? Why was she even in the car with him? I  feel like there's more to this than you're telling me."                       
       
           



       

Neither Flor nor I said a word and she sighed yet again.

"I was in such a hurry today I left my new cookie sheets in the backseat  of my car. Stay here and try not to mess up your dough while I'm gone."

River wiped her hands on her apron and disappeared, leaving Flor and me in a strange companionable silence.

"What did you mean by that?" Flor asked me, voice rough. I glanced up  and had to resist the urge to reach out and brush my fingers over his  swollen face.

"Mean by what?"

"That you can't stop loving me."

I swallowed hard. The words seemed pretty obvious to me, not to mention  embarrassing, and the last thing I felt like doing was trying to explain  them.

"What did you mean?" I countered, glancing over at the yellowing pages  of the cookbook I was supposed to be learning from. "By pulling me into  that bathroom?" My cheeks flushed red, but I pretended I didn't notice,  cracking two eggs into my mixture instead.

"It wasn't about meaning, Abigail. It was about need."

"So just sex then?" I asked and Flor sighed, just like his mother.

"If it was just about sex, I would've grabbed Rhonda," he told me and my  stomach twisted with that same old, same old jealousy that I'd been  fostering for years. I looked up and watched as Flor cracked an egg in  his bowl, dropping several pieces of shell along with it. He didn't even  hesitate to start picking them out with his fingers. Good thing River  wasn't in the room to see it.

Flor moved over to the trash to deposit his shells and then rinsed his  hands in the sink, the water sluicing between his colored fingers, over  the stars and moons that decorated his knuckles. I watched as he dried  them off on a dish towel and then moved back around me, pausing directly  behind me like he was waiting for something. Having him there made me  nervous, so I forced myself to keep talking, like maybe my words would  keep the awkwardness at bay. Besides, I needed the truth and he seemed  like he was in an okay mood considering.

"If it wasn't about sex, then what?" I asked, and another few seconds of  silence passed before I felt his breath on the nape of my neck, his arm  sliding around my waist.

"I already told you, need." He pressed his mouth to my skin and then  just held me there, like we were a couple, like touching me was  something that was okay. It felt good, but I was getting tired of this  back and forth from him. I needed answers. I also needed to know if this  sudden change in attitude was just a coping mechanism. I mean, part of  me was relieved that Rhonda was out of the picture, but the idea that  Flor hadn't been brave enough or willing enough to break up with her on  his own bothered me. If she hadn't found out, then what would've  happened? "I know I have to stay away from you, Abi, but it isn't easy.  Do you think I want this? If I could wave a magic wand and make these  feelings go away, I would."

I jerked away from him, taking my bowl with me.

"Well I wouldn't," I snapped, my feelings hurt yet again. "You don't  just trade love away, no matter how painful it is." I heard his breath  catch, but he didn't say anything, just ran his fingers through his  hair. A minute later, River came back in carrying her new cookie trays.  My dad followed in after her and surveyed the scene in the kitchen with a  blank facial expression. I shouldn't have cared what he thought about  me and Max, but then again, he had the power to change my life in ways I  wouldn't like. Pull my tuition money, evict me from my stepmom's  building, take away my car. I made myself smile at him.

"I don't want to see Max around here for awhile," he grumbled, and that  was that. He left the room without another word as I clenched the wooden  spoon in my hand and tried not to scream. One step forward, two steps  back.

River noticed my reaction and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't let him get to you, Abi. He's struggling with the idea that  you're an adult now and can make your own decisions. This isn't about  Max or sex or the fight today, just a man struggling with change."

"You're shrink talking again, kaa-chan," Flor murmured, head down,  pretending to be completely and utterly focused on his cookie dough. If  he was anything like me  –  and I knew we had a lot in common  –  then he  was probably wondering what might've happened if my dad really knew what  today had been all about.

"I just want Abi to know that her father is a logical man who must  realize that his daughter is growing up and that it's time for her to  make her own decisions." She smiled and touched a hand to her belly.  "Hopefully when this one comes, it'll get you off the hook for a while,  give you a little breathing room." I felt Flor's gaze on me, but refused  to look up. What was there to say? Pretending this baby wasn't coming  wouldn't help either of us. A new little brother or sister, a link to  tie Flor and I together forever, but not in the way I wanted. If we ever  had a kid, this child would be their aunt or uncle on both sides. Not  an ideal situation, obviously.                       
       
           



       

I added vanilla to my bowl and continued stirring.

"We're a family," River continued, making my stomach tight and my head  swim. She reached out to squeeze my arm and smiled, her next words meant  as a comfort and not as the poisonous barb that felt like it was being  lodged in my throat. "You, me, Flor, your father, and this baby. And  nothing will ever change that."





Fate can be wicked cruel, can't it? I scooted closer to my side of the  couch and pretended I didn't notice River's absence between Flor and me,  that empty space of couch that seemed to beckon at the same time it  repelled. I twisted my stepmother's blue and white afghan around in my  fingers and kept my eyes on the screen. It didn't escape my notice that  this scenario was eerily similar to the one we'd experienced our first  night together.

"It's late," Flor mumbled, glancing over at me. "You should go." I  grabbed my cell from the arm of the couch and checked the time: it was  past one in the morning. I had a few texts from Addison that I'd  responded to with the bare minimum, promising to explain in greater  detail later. I knew as soon as she had the full story (i.e. the part  about Flor and me in his bathroom), that I was going to get it. Maybe  going home was actually the worse of two options?

"I was thinking of just staying the night," I responded without glancing  at him. My words, as innocent as they were, seemed to coat the room in  tension, heighten that sense of something that always lingered in the  air between us. The thing was, I didn't much feel like going home,  didn't want to answer Addi's questions, didn't want to be separated from  Flor. Other than our illicit night on the roof together, we hadn't  slept in the same place in years. "If that's okay with you," I added and  he shrugged, stretching his legs out so that his bare feet were just  inches from my thigh. "I figured I'm already in my pajamas anyway." I  tried to smile, wondering what Flor thought of me in the faded baggy  shirt and pants I was wearing. Next time I went to my old dresser for  clothes, I was going to be sorely disappointed. This was definitely the  last of it. "Are the kittens going to be okay?" I asked and Flor sighed.

"Max can be a dick sometimes, but even he won't let a bunch of orphans  go hungry." I watched Flor run a hand down his arm, fingers playing  across the brightness of his tattoos. "Besides, if he thinks this  situation is permanent or even long lasting, he's got another thing  coming. We own a fucking business together." My stepbrother bit the  words off like they hurt. He and Max had always been close. Hell, Max  and I had always been close. There had to be some way to repair this  thing between the three of us.