Oh hell no.
I swiped the tears away with the sleeve of my Oregon Ducks hoodie and glared daggers at him.
"You're a know-it-all and a jerk sometimes, Florian. Just because you're a few years older than me doesn't mean you know everything." He started to walk away and I moved after him. "It doesn't mean you can tell me what to do, boss me around, pretend like you don't have feelings for me." He just kept walking, up those same steps I'd stumbled down. "All it means is that you don't know shit!" I screamed, fully aware that people were now blatantly staring at us, all polite facades dropped and tossed to the side.
Flor paused and turned to glare over his shoulder at me.
"You're my sister, Abigail. Now and forever. I messed up, but it won't happen again."
"That's what you call it then?" I scoffed, hating the sound of my own voice. "Fucking me against the bathroom door while your girlfriend cooks dinner? That's messing up." Flor scowled at me and turned back around, pausing and then taking a step back, like he'd been shot or something. I followed his gaze up and found … Rhonda. Wide eyed and staring, she took her own step back, spun and fled towards the parking lot.
Somehow, miraculously, I made it to family dinner that evening, climbing the cement steps to the green front door with my heart in my throat and a bouquet of flowers clutched in my hand. Despite everything, I felt bad for running out the night River imparted her joyous news on us. A cluster of carnations might not do anything to make up for that, but I hoped the effort would help.
I tried the front door; it was unlocked, as usual.
"Hello?" I called, pushing my way inside and letting the door close softly behind me. The soft bubbling of boiling water greeted me along with the smell of something savory and rich, most likely more of my stepmother's infamous appetizers.
"In here, honey," River called and I joined her in the kitchen, looking around for my dad – or Flor. Addi was currently still in the car, finishing up a conversation with her parents. Being away from her family was hard for her I knew, and I felt sick about that, too. Just one more tally to my guilt list. "Are those for me?" River asked, taking the bouquet from my hands with a gentle smile. "Thank you, Abigail." I nodded and took a seat on the same bench I'd sat on the night Flor and I had had our first time. I wondered where he was, and if he was still coming.
Rhonda knows.
I couldn't let that thought worm its way into my head or I'd panic. There was no end to the things she could do with that information – like come here and make this family dinner even more miserable than I already knew it was going to be.
"Is Flor coming?" I asked, fishing for information. If he wasn't though, I doubt River would know otherwise. It wasn't like he communicated all of his comings and goings to her. She shrugged and I watched as she navigated the kitchen with ease, effortlessly, in a way I couldn't even begin to imitate.
"You know him," she said, and the words stuck in my ears, muddled my thoughts even further. I did, and that was the problem. I tapped my fingers on the countertop and felt my heart stutter when the front door opened.
"Just me," Addi called, like she could sense the unease in me. She'd been giving me looks since I'd stumbled in the door, dazed and admittedly a little terrified. If Rhonda was anything like some of Flor's past girlfriends, she'd do anything to get back at him, make him suffer for whatever it was he'd done to her. Calling the parents and letting them know their stepchildren were fucking would certainly check off a box on the revenge list.
Addi found us in the kitchen and congratulated my stepmom before moving over to the appetizers and scanning this week's smorgasbord with hungry eyes. I knew if I didn't eat anything, River would be all over me, but I couldn't seem to make myself care. Just the idea of putting food in my tumultuous stomach made the tingling ache in my belly that much worse.
I grabbed a plate anyway and piled it with olives, twirling a toothpick in my fingers as the awkward silence in the kitchen stretched three ways. Addi kept giving me looks, but I had no idea what to say to make things better.
"Abigail," River began, just as the front door opened again. This time, when I heard the pound of boots across the floor, I knew it was Florian. I stared really, really hard at my plate and tried to swallow past the cottony dryness of my throat. "Flor, honey." River moved out of my view to kiss her son's cheek. I refused to let my eyes stray in that direction. "Where's Rhonda?" First words out of her mouth, of course.
"Rhonda couldn't make it," Flor said and I wondered if his mother could hear the clench of his teeth as well as I could. "Hey, Abigail. Can I talk to you for a sec?" I looked up and found Florian stretched tight and ready to break. It was a little scary.
I stood up suddenly, my stool scraping across the floor at the same moment my dad entered from the backyard.
"Where's Rhonda?" he asked, and I seriously had to close my eyes to keep from screaming.
"Not feeling well," Flor said, and I had to wonder if that was actually a lie at all. "Come on, Abs."
"Where are you two off to?" my dad rumbled, giving me one of his piercing looks. Maybe it was just me, but it felt even more invasive than usual. I pretended not to notice and let Flor grab my hand. He dragged me through the living room, up the stairs, and into my bedroom. Why, exactly, he thought this was the best place to do this, I'm not sure.
I swallowed hard, the sound audible in the sudden quiet between us.
I watched him fish something out of his pocket and toss it onto my bed. It looked like a jewelry box and for one terrifying moment, I imagined that it held a wedding ring, that Flor really had been intending to ask Rhonda to marry him. But then he opened it, and I saw that it was just a bracelet. A pretty bracelet, but still just a bracelet.
"It's for my mom," he grumbled with a sigh. "If anyone asks, I brought you up here to look at it."
"Um, okay?" I said, the words more of a question than a statement. "But why did you really bring me up here?"
Flor sat down heavy on my bed, putting his face in his hands. I wanted to sit down next to him, curl my arm around his shoulders, but I didn't. I thought about saying I was sorry, but that wasn't really true either. I wish Rhonda hadn't had to find out that way, but she'd deserved to know. If anything, Flor was the jerk for not telling her right way, and I was … I stopped short of bringing up Max.
"Now who's playing the game?" Flor snapped back at me, standing up suddenly and forcing me into the dresser with the heat of his anger. "Rhonda heard you, Abigail. And then she went home and told fucking Max." Flor turned away and ran his fingers through his hair. As if on cue, I heard Addi's voice from downstairs.
"Max is here!" she called and I felt the blood drain from my face. Flor and I exchanged a look before he snatched up the bracelet and we both flew down the stairs like our lives depended on it. Maybe they did?
"Can you keep my parents in the kitchen?" I whispered frantically to my best friend, grabbing the door and moving outside before Flor could stop me. Max was standing in the driveway, a very unpleasant look on his face. Shit.
"Get your fucking ass down here, Florian," he snapped and I felt a horrible surge of fear when I realized that Rhonda was in the car, eyes red and puffy, focused right on me. The worst part of it all was that I deserved it. "You sick fuck," he said as Flor approached and paused, putting a cigarette between his lips like he just didn't care. Thing was, he did. I could tell from the tightness in his back muscles, the stiffness of his shoulders. He was playing it cool, but in all reality, he was strung tight, way, way, way too tight. "You fucked your own sister," Max said and I cringed, putting my hands over my ears like that would block out the truth.
Flor lit up his cig, but he wasn't looking at Max. He was looking at me, right straight at me.
"Don't blow a gasket, dude. Relax, my parents are inside."
"Yeah," Max said, and I heard the strange echo of a little boy in his voice, the same one who'd grown up alongside Flor and me. He was disappointed in us and it hurt. Where was that hole in the ground when I needed it? Maybe I could just crawl inside and disappear?