"It's really good," I said, handing the spoon back. She smiled at me again and as her full lips twisted up into a grin, I could see she wasn't just pretty but gorgeous, much prettier than when she'd been covered in makeup. Even then, dressed as a drag queen, she'd been stunning. If she looked even better in a domestic setting like this, what chance did I stand?
"Thanks," she said, turning back to her food and closing her eyes, like the smell of the food alone was enough to tell her how much salt and pepper she needed to add. I fidgeted, my coat hanging over one arm, my heart pounding a strange rhythm inside my chest. My hidden feelings for Flor had morphed into something different, something that I was afraid was even worse than the sickening shame I'd held onto before: guilt. "Flor should be back soon. I don't know about Max." She glanced over her shoulder at me, her gaze assessing. I couldn't read into her expression, but I could probably guess what she was doing. Max and Flor were similar in so many ways, and I figured she was trying to puzzle out what a good looking guy like Max would want with me. "Did you want to stay for dinner?"
I watched her move around the kitchen and felt my insides twist uncomfortably. She'd obviously spent a lot of time here if she was okay staying at home without Flor, taking care of his kittens, and cooking dinner for him. And apparently, Flor hadn't said or done anything in the past few days to make her suspicious.
I'm the other woman.
My throat closed up.
And the sister.
The worst part of it all was that no matter what I did or how guilty I looked, nobody would even consider the possibility that Flor and I had done what we'd done. It was too taboo, too far outside a normal person's comfort zone. I looked down at the toes of my tan leather Steve Madden boots, another gift from Addi.
Say no and walk out the door, Abi. Make up an excuse to go.
I glanced up, the words dying on my lips when I heard a key being inserted into the lock on the front door. Crap. Max or Florian, I didn't really want to run into either of them right now. I mean, I'd come over here looking for Flor, but talking to him about what had happened with Rhonda around, yeah. Not happening.
"Hey baby," Rhonda called out, opening the oven and checking on whatever was inside. "We're in the kitchen!" I stood there facing the window to the backyard, my chest tight and my breath coming in labored gasps. A song was playing lightly in the background, so I hoped nobody would notice, but I should've known better – this was Flor.
I listened to his footsteps, the cry of kittens, and saw him pause in the entrance to the kitchen from the corner of my eye. I refused to look his way, not yet.
"Smells good in here," he said as Rhonda danced over to him and threaded her hands behind his neck. I glanced away until their kiss ended and tried to keep a mild expression on my face. How could he do that? Kiss her like that and pretend that … that everything was okay, that it was normal.
"And look who's here. Finally, I get to spend some time with this sister of yours. She's staying for dinner." I glanced up sharply and ended up getting stuck on Flor's eyes. They were narrowed on me, focused, and filled with something I couldn't quite name … anger, maybe? I wanted to look away, but I couldn't help myself, desperately wanted to deny the invitation for dinner but couldn't force the words past my suddenly dry lips. The memory of Flor's body inside of mine was fresh in my thoughts, flickering to the surface and making my cheeks flush and my fingers curl into fists. I stared at him, at the mild frown pulling down the corners of his beautiful lips, the scar on his chin that I'd finally, finally gotten to trace with my own fingers. How could it have finally happened and then be over so fast? How? "He talks about you all the time," Rhonda added, unknowingly adding a layer of tension between Flor and me that we so didn't need. "I feel like I know you already, you know?"
I nodded, but I couldn't pull my gaze from my stepbrother's.
"What do you need, Abs?" he asked finally, turning away like he was already done here. "You could've just called." I pursed my lips. I had called, and he hadn't bothered to answer, so here I was. Without waiting for me to respond, Flor continued on down the dark hallway and I followed after him with a quick apology to Rhonda. If I was any other girl, I doubt she'd have let me trail her boyfriend into his bedroom, but I wasn't. I wasn't just any other girl. I was his freaking sister.
"Flor," I snapped, trying to keep my voice low enough that we wouldn't be heard by Rhonda. Luckily, she'd turned up the music and started singing along with whatever song it was that was playing. Let me hold you tight, feel you close for just one night.
Jesus. I had the worst bits of luck. The lyrics she was singing were not helping any.
"Flor," I said again as he tossed a small bag onto his bed and proceeded to strip off his shirt. My throat clenched tight and my entire body lit up like a Christmas tree. It was too much too soon. I bit my lower lip.
"What is it, Abi?" he asked, like we had nothing at all to talk about, like we hadn't been dancing around our love for one another, like we hadn't just fucked for the first time. "And are you really staying for dinner? Isn't that a little weird?"
"Weird?" I asked, wishing I could screech the word at him, claw it into his back and force him to turn around and fucking look at me. "Of course it's weird, Flor. All of this is. What are you even doing? What are you going to tell Rhonda?"
He whirled on me then and I took a step back, hitting the wall with my shoulder as Flor leaned over me, his bare chest beautiful in the dim afternoon sunshine peeking through the nearby window. He pinned me there with an arm on either side of my face, his palms pressed into the wall.
"Are you serious, Abi? We're not going to tell Rhonda anything." He leaned back and I swear, the air around me cooled by several degrees. It was like when we were together, the friction of our feelings lit up the room. "There's nothing to tell her anyway." He waved his hand dismissively and this time, when he said it, he didn't look at me. I watched Flor move over to his dresser, my mouth open in shock and an angry tendril of hurt working its way into my belly. No.
"I won't let you use me and toss me away like all the rest of your girls," I said and his back stiffened. Flor shoved clothes around angrily until he had a small stack in his hand. When he turned around and moved back towards me, he paused, eyes on the wall and not on my face.
"I'm not having this conversation with you right now," he growled and then we both paused as we heard the front door opening again.
"Wow, does that smell good."
Fuck.
It was Max.
Flor and I exchanged a look before he shoved past me and moved further down the hall towards the bathroom. I closed my eyes for a moment, made myself take several deep breaths, and shoved off from the wall. It was better I go to Max before he came looking for me. I hadn't spoken to him since the night Flor and I had slept together and with all that had happened, it felt like forever.
I stepped out into the hall and adjusted my dress, taking a deep breath and sauntering into the living room with a smile. He was just coming out of the kitchen with a curious look on his face, his brown hair mussed and sexy. I wish I could've loved him like I loved Flor, but it was never going to happen. I was sure of that now.
"Hey Max," I said, tucking my fingertips into the pockets of my black dress. It was crisp cotton, short, sexy, and it went perfectly with my boots. Or so Addi had said. She was about a hundred times more fashion forward than I was, so I listened. Max took me in with a smile and then stepped close, bracketing my face with his hands and pressing his lips softly to mine. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, I thought as he leaned back and smiled down at me. I'd cheated on Max just the same way Flor had cheated on Rhonda.
"Long time no see, dope," he said with a wink, imitating one of Flor's favorite pet names for me. The two of them had occasionally teamed up to pick on me when we were kids. I remembered one particularly terrible prank where they'd sliced a hole in the back of my gym shorts. I hadn't even noticed until I'd left the locker room and been swarmed by concerned girlfriends. This moment, for whatever reason, felt a lot like that. Had Flor told Max anything? No, not if he was kissing me like that.
"Two days," I said and he shrugged, glancing down as one of the kittens latched onto his jeans and began to climb right up his leg. "Not really all that long," I said as he grinned and detached the furry little beast from his pants, handing it over to me with a smile.