"If that's what you think I was doing, Abigail, then maybe you should have my fucking mother give you a head exam." He turned away and disappeared into the kitchen in a rage, not something I hadn't seen before. When he came back, he had a bowl of popcorn in his hand, drizzled in butter and salt, just the way I liked it. Damn it.
Flor sat down and started eating, watching the movie like he was actually interested in the plot. I tried to do the same, but my eyes kept moving over to his and every once in a while, our hands would meet in the popcorn bowl and a thrill would travel up my spine. I felt like I was in high school again and Flor was the boyfriend I'd always wanted but never had.
"All I was saying, Abi, was that maybe it'd get me out of your system, that's it."
"Oh, so you graciously offered to fuck me so I could clear my head of your wonderfulness?"
"Wonderfulness isn't even a word."
"Yes, it is."
"No."
"Who's the C student here?" I asked. "Not me." Flor narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips.
"Sorry, nee-chan, my bad. You win, as usual." I snatched the remote and turned the movie off. I'd wanted to wait until it was over, but I couldn't. I couldn't wait even a second longer in here with him, playing this game, doing this back and forth thing.
I stood up and he followed after me, into the kitchen where I'd left my purse.
I grabbed it, yanking my coat off of a nearby chair and spun around, only to run face first into Flor's chest. His hands came out and grabbed my shoulders, holding me back.
"Let go of me," I demanded, but Flor was never one to take orders from anyone.
"Abigail," he began, but I shook my head.
"Stop it!" I screamed, my voice echoing around the sterile kitchen. "LET GO OF ME!" I yelled so loud that my stepbrother actually dropped his hands, eyes wide with shock as I stood there panting and barefoot and so frustrated I could scream. "You know what, Florian? Maybe it's not just me who has a problem? Maybe it's you, too? You say we can't be together, that you're my brother, that you only see me as a sister, but I don't think that's true. Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were afraid to let me go."
I looked up at him, challenging him, expecting a fight.
Instead, all I got was, "you're right."
Flor closed the distance between us again, knocking my purse and coat from my arms as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him. Our lips met and between one breath and the next, his tongue was in my mouth and I was kissing him back without a thought as to what I was doing. My body took over, that heat and fire he'd always ignited inside of me burning bright, melting my inhibitions away like alcohol. His strong fingers needed the flesh on my hip, dropped back to cradle my lower back, caress the dip of my spine, before coming down and cupping my ass.
I moaned into him and he growled right back at me, like an animal, moving us forward until my thighs hit the cabinets, until I had nowhere else to go but closer to him. Our bodies molded around one another and my hands found his back, exploring that forbidden territory with gusto, desperate for it, for him, for this moment.
I had lived for this moment.
And then the fucking doorbell rang.
Flor jerked back suddenly, but not like I was dangerous, just like he was pissed off. He turned on his heel and moved to the door before I could stop him, wrenching it open and digging a pack of cigarettes out at the same moment.
Max stood on the doorstop, a bouquet of yellow flowers clutched in his hand. He looked surprised – and admittedly a little terrified – to see Florian standing there.
"Oh, hey," he said, looking past my stepbrother and over at me. I knew my lips were swollen and my face flushed, but I hoped Max couldn't see it from there. "What are you guys up to?"
Flor leaned against the doorjamb without inviting his friend in, lighting up a cigarette and looking so beautiful that I wanted to scream. What had just happened? What had he just admitted to me in there?
And what the heck was I going to do about it?
"Just waiting for my parents. They should be here any minute. We're having family dinner tonight."
"Oh," Max said, looking confused, waiting for me to come to the door. I couldn't seem to move, couldn't seem to force myself forward to take those flowers from his hand. If Max was a cheater then so was I. I felt ashamed of myself. "I brought these by for you, Abi, but I guess you don't need any company tonight." The smile he gave me was downright lascivious, and I could see Flor's back muscles tensing from here.
"No, she doesn't." Flor reached out and took the bouquet from my boyfriend's fingers. "I'd invite you in, but you know how my mom gets sometimes. She's in one of her moods. Family only, bro." Flor started to close the door, but Max reached out and stopped it with his palm, moving inside and jogging over to me. He scooped me up in his arms, kissed me hard and fast and drew back with a grin on his face.
"I had a great time last night," he said, raising his eyebrows. "If I'd known how much fun you were, I wouldn't have spent all those nights in Flor's room." Max winked at me, kissed me again, and moved back towards the door.
"Feed the fucking kittens," Flor snapped at him as Max stepped out, and the door slammed shut behind him. Florian stood there for a moment before turning around and heading back into the kitchen, avoiding me and opening the trash can as soon as he reached it, dunking the flowers into the black depths of the plastic liner. "Last night?" he asked, and my face flushed even hotter than before. "You slept with Max here? In our parents' house?"
"So what, Flor? Like you didn't screw several dozen girls in this house." I felt my jealousy taking over, consuming me from the inside out. My brother slammed the lid of the trash can and began to rummage around in the cabinets again, obviously looking for something in particular. When he found it, he turned to me and held up a bottle of champagne.
His face was unreadable for a moment, but then he smiled. The expression had a wicked edge to it that I didn't know how to interpret, but his words were clear enough.
"Rooftop?" he asked, and my entire body went cold and then hot.
I knew what I was agreeing to if I went up there. If this happened, if this went sour, then we really would learn what a break in our relationship would feel like.
"Yes," I whispered, the word sounding like it was coming from someone else's lips. "Yes."
Flor and I sat side by side on the sloping curve of the roof, facing towards the mountains and the setting sun. A cool breeze swept over us, making me shiver a little beneath the blanket I'd dragged outside along with us. Flor noticed and scooted closer to me, handing over the champagne bottle and staring down at our bare feet, silhouetted against the fingers of orange and yellow that streaked the darkening sky.
"How many girls did you bring up here?" I asked, only half joking. Flor was silent for a while, and I found myself dreading the answer.
"None," he said, and I believed him. At least Florian had never lied about the fact that he was dating – and sleeping with – other girls. He'd always been honest whenever I'd asked him about one or the other.
"I don't know what we're doing up here," I said, even though that wasn't true. Flor called me out on it.
"That's a lie," he said, turning to me, his green eyes blazing, pupils dilating. When he reached out and took hold of me, I nearly dropped the champagne. One of Flor's hands came up and fingered the locket hanging around my neck, his skin brushing my bare chest above my tank top as he opened it and stared at the picture inside. "Did you bring Max up here?"
"No," I said, trying to draw away from his touch. He wouldn't let me. "I never brought any boys up here because you wouldn't let me even look their way."
"Didn't stop you from losing your virginity to Max," he spat and I rolled my eyes.
"Why? Wish you were the one who'd gotten to take it?" I joked, but then immediately regretted it. Flor said nothing and silence descended on us once again, making me question everything. The blanket slid from my shoulders, leaving them bare.
I looked up, into Flor's eyes and found my heart was pounding so loud that I couldn't hear anything anymore, not even the sound of my labored breathing as he tugged on the locket, using the chain to pull my face closer to his. Our mouths met again, tangling together as he pulled me into his lap, brushed his fingers on the skin below my shirt and then expertly, skillfully, lifted it up and over my head, cutting our kiss off for the briefest of seconds.