Stepbrother Inked(20)

I shook my head at Theo.

"Nope. I don't think I've even heard a single one of their songs." I  smiled. "I came here on faith." Max snorted and fumbled around for a  cigarette in his pocket, racketing up his friendly smile into a grin.  God, he was so oblivious, but I kind of loved him for it. Just not in  the same way I loved Flor. Bleh.

"Oh man, Abi. You're going to hate this. This isn't the light  jazz/Billie Holiday type stuff you like to listen to. This is like,  demon squalling, or something like that. Tons of screaming, some  guitars, a drum, and bass. That's pretty much it."

"Oh stop it, this is art," Yuu said, giving Max a look with a raised  brow. "It's going to blow your mind and break your spirit, and then it's  going to put you back together again." He and his boyfriend exchanged a  look and a kiss that made me flush and turn away. It was so  …   passionate (and I couldn't deal with passionate right now), but it'd be  awfully nice if Yuu's words actually came true, if music really was or  could be that powerful. I felt like my mind and my spirit  –  but most  especially my heart  –  were fractured but still intact. If something  could break them into pieces, let me start all over again, I'd face hell  or high water to get my hands on that clean slate.

But a little concert at the WOW Hall? Not likely to sufficiently power a spiritual makeover.

I resumed my contemplative torture while the line moved forward and,  after what seemed like forever, emptied us into the building. The way to  the stage was a bit roundabout and, as usual, the fact that the show  was all ages was already starting to reveal its colors. High schoolers  abounded, screaming and bobbing up and down despite the fact that the  performance hadn't even started yet. At least it was better than the  homeless guys outside. Ah, downtown Eugene in all its glory.

"Hey, babe, I'm going down to the bar real quick," Max said, nodding his  chin at the steep steps leading down into a room filled with white  Christmas lights and bowls of stale pretzels, if Florian's accounts were  to be at all believed. My heart dropped, but I smiled anyway, nodding  and letting him press a quick kiss on my lips before he disappeared.  When I most wanted Max by my side, he had to slip away for a beer.  Figures.

I let my gaze travel around the room briefly, searching for familiar  faces. Or more specifically, one familiar face. It wasn't entirely  impossible that I'd see Flor here. Granted, I was pretty sure he'd moved  onto greener pastures, but this had used to be one of his stomping  grounds. I'd once caught him sneaking in the living room window with a  girl from a band he'd come to see. I didn't stick around to find out  their agenda, but I can only assume he slept with her.

Crap.

Not the train of thought I needed to ride right now. I glanced over and  caught Theo and Yuu disappearing into the crowd while Addi eyed me  suspiciously. Patrick, at least, looked almost as uncomfortable as I  was, face pale and sweaty. We made eye contact briefly and I smiled. He  might be dorky and quiet and covered in freckles, but I liked this guy.  Why couldn't I have fallen in love with a dude who wore anime T-shirts  and read young adult novels about aliens?

"Hey there," Addi said, bumping me with her shoulder and raising an  eyebrow at the kids who, not all that long ago, had been us. Or me,  actually, since Addi had just moved back. I'd come here with my high  school friends, most of whom I hadn't seen or heard from since  graduation. Instead of feeling immersed in the crowd, I became suddenly  lonely. "Told ya it'd be fun." Addi's voice was strained, and I watched  as she switched her worried gaze from me to Patrick. As Florian's  grandma might say, we were just a couple of 'wet blankets'. Whatever  that really means.

"I know," I said, forcing a smile onto my face again. "I'm hopeless." I  leaned in and kissed Addi on the cheek. "But I'm fine, really. I'm  having a great time." She gave me another skeptical look and then,  fortunately, decided to let the subject drop. I heaved a sigh of relief  and crossed my arms over my chest, wishing I'd done something with my  hair. It was damp, fresh from a wash, and curling down my back, teasing  the bare skin above my tank top. All around me, the crowd rippled with  color  –  pink hair teased into Mohawks, black and blonde striped braids,  and the occasional chignon or French twist. Even though there seemed to  be a divisive line between the under eighteen and the over, I felt like  the only one out of place, stuck between here and there. I reached a  hand up and twirled a finger in my curls. Obviously, I was overanalyzing  my hairdo, but that didn't mean the feelings that went with it weren't  genuine.                       
       
           



       

I followed along behind Patrick and Addi, weaving through the crowd  towards the bleachers that lined either side of the room, like something  from a high school gym. They were filled to bursting with laughing,  cheering, screaming patrons, but whatever energy was infecting them, it  hadn't found me yet. I cursed Max silently inside my head for going to  the bar, leaving me up here as the fifth wheel. He was a nice guy, but  sometimes he made the most inconsiderate decisions, like this one time  he invited me to a romantic dinner and then bailed halfway through  because he'd forgotten a late night appointment with a client.

I sighed.

"Wait for this," Theo was telling Addi, Yuu hanging on his arm and  giving me an appraising once-over that ended with him squinting at my  tattoo. I pulled my shirt down to cover it and Yuu grinned, making me  wonder exactly how much Addi had told the two of them. Just the overview  of the Flor and me fiasco? Probably the whole kit and caboodle, that  bitch. "Trust me, it's going to fuck you up hard."

Theo gestured over Addi's shoulder at me, beckoning my forward. I sidled  up beside the group and crossed my arms over my chest, wondering  exactly how long Max was going to be  –  if he came back at all.

"You, Abigail, look like you could really use being fucked."

I blushed and Theo laughed, patting me on the shoulder and giving my arm a squeeze.

"Don't look so scared, sweetie. I meant that metaphorically speaking.  Just, like, open your heart or whatever new age shit you want to believe  in. Let the music become you." He laughed and tossed me another wink.  "Enjoy the show and forget about your brother. Sounds like a royal dick  to me."

"Stepbrother," I corrected automatically and both Theo and Yuu laughed  at me again. Patrick, at least, had the decency to look mortified for  me. "And yes, he is a royal dick. But I'm not thinking about him." Lie.

"No worries," Yuu said as the lights dimmed and the crowd began to  quiet. "If I had a stepbrother that looked like that, I'd probably be  obsessed, too."

I rolled my eyes and decided to let the comment go. After all, there was  some truth to that. But I'd have loved Flor no matter what he looked  like. The fact that he's attractive is only part of the problem  –  a very  vexing part, but still only a fraction.

I shook my head to clear it, but my mind felt slippery, like staying on  one subject for too long was impossible. I nibbled at my lower lip and  tried to concentrate on the stage, but my feelings and thoughts were  still all over the place. And where the hell is Max? I found myself  looking around for him in his red T-shirt and tight jeans, but he was  nowhere to be seen. A quick glance at my phone showed no messages, and  when I texted him to tell him the show was starting, he replied that he  was still in the bar and would be up soon. Of course he was. I stuffed  the phone back in my pocket and scooted around Addi and Patrick for a  better view.

I could see shadows moving across the small stage, getting into place for the show.

"Ladies and gentleman of Eugene, Oregon," the voice whispered,  skittering across the back of my neck like a heated breath. The crowd  went completely silent, but I wouldn't say the room was quiet. Oh, no,  it was like the silence itself was a sound, one so loud that it was  drowning out even my erratic thoughts. I felt my own breath hitch and  uncrossed my arms, leaning up on tiptoe to get a better look. Fingers  strummed across a guitar and the lights flickered back into place,  revealing a grinning face onstage, lips poised against the microphone.  "I want to hear you make some NOISE!" the man growled, clutching the mic  with his fingers and pulling it from the stand.

The crowd responded like a living creature, flowing around me like  water, pushing me forward with the current and crushing me between  sweaty, gyrating bodies while screams and shouts punctuated the silence  and bled it across all our shoulders, coating us with this  …  energy that  finally, finally managed to find some sort of hold in me.