Stepbrother Dearest(77)
I paid the driver and stuck my kindle in my purse. As I made my way inside Club Underground, the contrast of the darkness and bright lights caused a feeling of unreality. My head had been stuck in Elec’s story all day, and it almost felt strange venturing into the real world. It started to make me feel a little panicky with a bit of vertigo, which I got from time to time.
My nervous state improved as soon as I saw two of my coworkers, Bobbie and Jennifer, who greeted me as I entered the private room. A small bar was lit up in purple lighting, and I immediately booked it over there for a vodka soda.
I took a sip. “Is the guest of honor here yet?”
“No sign of Hetty yet,” Jennifer said.
Since Hetty wasn’t even here yet, I excused myself to go to the bathroom where I promptly picked my kindle up again. Don’t judge.
***
I still consider it a miracle that I made it through that night without fucking up. Greta ended up texting me that she was having insomnia. I immediately called her, and we talked until she fell asleep sometime after 4 A.M. I stayed on the phone listening to the sound of her breathing.
The ride home the next morning was downright painful. A chainsaw wouldn’t have been enough to cut the tension in the air.
Greta was going to be driving me to the airport. We ended up stopping at her mother’s house first. Being back in the place where everything started was harder than I thought it would be.
Greta had served me some of her homemade ice cream. It was nostalgic sharing it with her out of the same bowl. For some reason, out of everything we’d experienced during our little adventure, that moment had meant the most to me and felt like goodbye all at once.
***
I had to put my kindle down when Hetty walked into the bathroom. She must have thought I was pathetic.
“There you are. We’ve all been looking for you!”
“Oh, I lost track of time. You hadn’t arrived yet, so I came in here to chill for a bit before the party started.” I hugged her. “Happy birthday, sweetie.”
“Thanks. You were reading?”
“Yeah.” I laughed and waved my hand dismissively. “You know how it is when you start a book you can’t put down.”
“Is it smut?”
I had to think about it. “Not really.”
“Right. Okay, well, come on! Almost everyone’s here now.”
I followed her back out into the club and immediately ran to the bar for another vodka soda. Vowing to not pick up the book for at least an hour, I worked the room and found myself looking at people’s faces but not really hearing what they were saying. Their mouths were moving, but my brain wasn’t processing it; my mind was still with Elec.
As soon as my self-imposed hour was up, I snuck back into the bathroom. My friends were probably going to think I was doing lines of coke, but I needed to finish the book since I only had a small percentage left. That way, I could get through the remainder of the night with no preoccupation.
I took a deep breath.
***
Greta wouldn’t make eye contact on the ride to the airport. All of the special moments we’d shared, and she couldn’t even stand to look at my face now. That was what it all came down to, and I couldn’t say I blamed her.
I was breaking apart at the seams and didn’t know what to say to her. We’d practically been to Heaven and Hell and back together over the past twenty-four hours and now, I was simply leaving her…again.
When we exited the car at the curb, the wind was wild. It was almost like a scene out of a movie. This would have been the sad part where you’d cue the dramatic music.
The thunderous sound of the planes taking off made it even more difficult to articulate what I wanted to say. What do you say to someone you’re abandoning for the second time?
She held onto herself and was looking everywhere but at my face.
Finally, I said, “Look at me.”
Greta shook her head repeatedly, and a tear fell down her cheek.
It was official now. I was the scum of the Earth.
My own eyes started watering because I couldn’t take away the pain she was feeling, because I couldn’t do the one thing that would have achieved that: staying.
She was waving me off. “It’s okay. Go. Please. Text me if you want. It’s just…I can’t do a long goodbye…not with you.”
She was right. This wasn’t going to end well, so why prolong it?
“Okay.”
She startled me when she leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. She rushed back to the car and slammed the door before I could even process it.
The remnants of her saliva were stinging my cheek as I walked into the airport in a daze.
I wanted to look at her one last time, so I turned around. Big mistake. Through the glass, I saw that her head was on the steering wheel. I immediately ran back outside to the car and knocked on the window. She refused to look up and started the engine, so I knocked harder. She finally turned to me and got out, wiping her tears. “Did you forget something?”