That rule of thumb worked for me until we got to the burial grounds at which point I had the freak out of my life and ended up in Greta’s Honda on the road to nowhere.
I needed a smoke, but the craving wasn’t bad enough to warrant stopping the car long enough to buy cigarettes.
Everything was a blur: the funeral, my panic attack and now, even the trees that lined the interstate while Greta drove so fast that they blended together into one blurry green line.
Everything was just a fucking blur.
I kept looking out the window for what seemed like hours until she spoke up for the first time.
“Just about another twenty minutes, and then we’re gonna stop somewhere, okay?”
I looked over at her. She was softly humming.
Sweet Greta.
Fuck.
My chest constricted. I’d been such an asshole to her up until today, and now, I’d basically hijacked her. She’d saved me from myself this afternoon, and I’d done nothing to deserve her taking the time out to drive me around like this. I didn’t have the energy to tell her how much it meant to me, so I just said, “Thank you.”
One of her long blonde hairs had strayed, landing on my black pants. I twirled it around in my hands and eventually relaxed enough to fall asleep. It was the first time I’d slept in days.
I woke up delirious. When I realized where she’d taken me, I fell into a fit of laughter.
A casino.
It was brilliant.
When we entered the building, Greta started coughing incessantly and complained about the smoke. It was odd, but my own desire for a cigarette had gone away. The adrenaline of being in that environment had shifted my focus off my problems. I was pumped.
“Try to have fun, sis.” I jokingly shook her shoulders and immediately regretted putting my hands on her at all because apparently, my body couldn’t be trusted to not react like an animal.
“Please don’t call me that.”
“What would you prefer I call you here? No one knows us. We can make up names. We’re both dressed in all black. We look like mafia high rollers.”
“Anything but sis.”
“What do you like to play?”
“I want to hit one of the tables. What about you?”
“I just do the penny slots.”
The penny slots. God, she was cute.
“The penny slots? You’re going wild today, huh?”
“Don’t laugh.”
“You don’t go to a casino like this to play the slots, especially the penny ones.”
“I don’t know how to play any of the tables.”
“I can show you, but first we need drinks.” I winked at her. “Always liquor before you poker.”
Her face turned pink. I’d almost forgotten how addicting making her blush was.
She rolled her eyes. “God, some things never change. At least you’re back to making dirty jokes. That means I did something right today.”
“Seriously, this idea…” I looked at the chaos all around us then back at her. “Coming here…it was perfect.”
What I wished I could tell her was that unexpectedly getting to spend time with her again was the best part.
We bought some chips, and I’d gone to get us some drinks. I had been feeling really good until I made my way back to where Greta was waiting. A fat guy in a cowboy hat smacked her on the ass as she stood next to him at the craps table.
Without further thought, my body went into fight mode.
“Tell me I did not just see that fucking slob smack you on the ass.” I gave her the drinks. “Hold these.”
I put him in a chokehold. Both hands were needed to fit around his fat neck. “Who the fuck do you think you are putting your hands on her like that?”
He held up his hands. “I didn’t know she was with someone. She was helping me out.”
“It looked like you were helping yourself.” I’d accidentally spit on him when the words came out of my mouth then dragged him by the neck over to Greta. “Apologize to her right now.”
“Look man—”
“Apologize.” I yelled as I squeezed his neck even harder.
“I’m sorry.”
My ears were throbbing. I still wanted to kill him.
Greta was pleading. “Come on, Elec. Please let’s just go.”
Her scared face made me realize that beating this guy down wasn’t worth putting her through this. I took my drink from her and started to walk away.
Then, I heard him from behind me, “You’re lucky you came when you did. I was just about to ask her to blow on my dice.”
I flipped the fuck out, charging toward him and nearly hurt Greta who tried to use her little body to block my aim. She only ended up getting drenched by the drinks that spilled all over her.