His chest was rising and falling with heavy breaths.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
For a few seconds, Elec was staring at me as if he didn’t know how he’d gotten to my door. “No.”
“What’s wrong?”
His eyes had a frantic hunger in them. “Fuck tomorrow.”
Before I could process it, his warm hands cupped my face and brought my mouth to his. A low groan from the back of his throat vibrated down mine, and I caught it with a deep intake of breath. His chest pressed against my breasts as he pushed me back into the room. The door closed behind him.
What was happening?
His mouth was hot and wet as it devoured mine, his tongue circling the inside almost desperately. This was far more intense than the last two times we’d kissed, and I realized this was what it felt like when Elec didn’t hold back. This was different and a prelude to something more.
He stopped kissing me for a moment, and his hands slid from my face down the length of my neck. He pulled my hair, bending my neck back. He sucked on the base before kissing his way back up and sighing into my mouth.
My tongue brushed back and forth over his lip ring, and he responded by gently biting my bottom lip as he moaned through his teeth.
I wanted more.
I was ready.
There wasn’t a doubt in my mind; I was going to let him go all the way.
When he stopped to look at me, I took the opportunity to ask what I absolutely had to know. “What happened?”
He took my hand and led me to the bed where he sat and lifted my body on top of his so that I was straddling him. The heat of his erection pressed against my throbbing clit. He placed his head in the middle of my chest and spoke into my shirt, causing my breasts to tingle.
“You wanna know what happened to me?” he whispered in a hoarse voice. “I finally opened that letter you wrote after you read my book. That’s what happened. No one’s ever said those things to me before, Greta. I don’t deserve it.”
I ran my fingers through his hair, which felt like silk. “You do deserve it. I meant every word.”
He looked up into my eyes. “The words in that letter…I’ll carry them with me forever. I could never pay you back for what you just gave me. Then, I thought about how I couldn’t even give you the one thing you asked me for. It made me angrier by the second as I was packing. I decided I’d rather have tonight than nothing at all, too. It’s fucking selfish, but I want your first time. I want to be the first one to show you everything and to be the one you’ll always remember for the rest of your life. But only if you meant it when you said that was what you wanted.”
“I want it more than anything.” I pulled him tighter into my chest.
He resisted, staring up into my eyes again. His expression was serious. “Look at me, Greta. Because I need to make sure you’re really okay with the fact that this would end tomorrow. You would never be able to tell anyone. I’ll give you anything and everything you want tonight as long as you truly understand all of that. You need to promise me that you could handle this.”
“I can handle it. I already told you that I wanted my first time to be with you even if it’s the only time. I don’t want you to hold back. I want you to show me everything. I want to experience the same things all of those other girls did. I don’t want you to treat me any differently.”
“I won’t give you exactly the same thing…but I can give you more. Okay? I can give you better. It may be one night, but I will make every second count.”
This was really happening.
When my nerves suddenly got the best of me, Elec took notice and put his hands on my shoulders. “You’re shaking. Maybe this isn’t a good idea.”
“I can’t help it. I’m gonna be nervous, but it’s in a good way.”
I was still sitting on top of him when he looked up at me in one last moment of hesitation. I reached for his face with my hands and kissed him deeply in an attempt to prove that I was as ready as I was going to be. I looked him in the eyes one last time and said, “I want this.”
He searched my eyes for several seconds then lifted me off him and stood up. Rubbing his fingertips along my neck, he moved them slowly in a scratching motion then wrapped his hand around the middle as if…he were going to choke me. But it wasn’t anything like that. He just held onto my neck, rubbing it gently with his thumb. I felt myself getting wet from just the way he was looking at me, like there was nothing else in the world he wanted more than to have me.
“I love your neck. It was the first thing I wanted to kiss. It’s so long and delicate.”
I closed my eyes and bent my head back. He still wasn’t kissing me, just lightly squeezing my neck.