Stepbrother Charming(82)

“I have,” I snap, feeling anger gaining the upper hand. “Really. But you don't realize I've missed hearing your voice just as much as feeling your lips. Why didn't you call? Why'd you let us slip apart?”

“Because I fucked up. Twice, Claire.” He takes a pace back, collecting his thoughts, and then he's looking at me again. I don't know if I should melt into a puddle or turn to ice beneath those gorgeous eyes. “Once was thinking I did so much goddamned damage that I had to let you go. My fuck of a dad ruined you, and he did it because of me. I lost half my soul seeing you hurt. Seeing those probes shoot lightning through your body was the worst damned day of my life.”

“Mine too! I was glad to be out of that house – believe me. But you were supposed to come after me. I thought we really had something on the ship that summer. Do you remember the Fourth?” I pause and swallow a hard lump as he nods his head sadly. “You abandoned me, Ty. You didn't keep your promise.”

His eyes flash brighter. “Babe, you didn't let me finish. I fucked up bad, and I'm man enough to say it to your face. My first mistake was running. Mistake number two was thinking I could ever let go. I lied to myself. I thought I could forget you, thought I had to, anything to keep my crazy shit from fucking up your life.”

“Yeah? Then I guess you never understood I wanted it in my life. All of it. I wanted you. You're wrong, Ty, and I can't believe you thought I'd just skip away and get on with my life. Did you really think I'd be able to get over you just as easy?”

My heart thuds. I'm starting to think this is a bad idea, that coming up here at all to confront everything I should just leave behind is stupid. He hasn't changed. He's still the same selfish playboy prince who pulled me to his lips that first night at Club Zing.

“I'm not done yet!” he holds his finger up to my face and gives it a shake.

His whole arm flexes. I can't help remembering what those hands did to me all summer. If they weren't busy running across my body, plunging inside me, prepping me for his dick, then they held on tight while he fucked my brains out.

“Asshole.” It slips out, and I can't stop it. “You're still the same man I met.”

He blinks, and the rage seems to leave him. Ty lowers his hand. “Yeah, babe, I fucking am. That's the point. I'm the blind ass fuck who thought I could be somebody else. I was supposed to remake myself up here, become a blank slate, rip my own heart out and throw it away. I thought I could live with losing you, and the ticket you got in the mail last week's proof I was wrong. I know how bad I fucked up now, and I've come to terms with it. But I can't take back the past and apologies won't do shit. All I'm offering you is to pick up where we left off, babe, knowing like nothing else I'd rather be dead than ever dream of letting you go again.”#p#分页标题#e#

I try to step away, but he won't let me. His arms wrap tighter, fuse tight, hook me to his immense slab of a body.

The choice is clear – it's either break down in his arms, bawling like a baby, or hit him as hard as I can and run. This time, there can't be any looking back.

Guess which one I choose.

Ty's face hits my fiery palm, and there's a crack like thunder. I'm so shocked I can't think about moving my feet. He stops the impact dead, and I can feel the heat beneath his stubble, blood rushing in to cover the shock. I'm too stunned by the fact that I've done it to remember how to struggle away from him.

“You got that shit outta your system, or what?” He says coolly.

I shake my head. I don't know. Maybe I feel a little better now, sure, but something tells me I'm never going to get the huge hulking splinter named Ty Sterner out of my heart.

My head starts thrashing side to side. Ty squeezes me so close it hurts, shoves his face against mine, and swallows me with those beaming blue eyes. “What the fuck's the matter? Talk to me!”

“I don't know if I love you or hate you,” I whimper, voice breaking. “You're an asshole because I can't let go, no matter how much you hurt me. Part of me wants to flee, get as far away from you as I possibly can, and never set foot on Alaskan soil ever again. But I can't forget you, Ty. I can't let go. And that hurts more than anything.”

He looks at me, his eyes beaming and amused. I can't look away.

“That's what I thought, babe. We're both fucked – screwed by our own beating hearts in the best way possible. And if this is being held captive, then lock me up and throw away the key. Didn't you hear me the first time? I'd rather be in the fuckin' ground than here without you, even if you're crying and fighting like hell in my arms. We've talked this shit out as far as I'm concerned.”