Two of the healers had walked out onto the battlefield and let themselves go.
Neither army survived, and the plague they unleashed raged for months and smothered entire kingdoms.
Lady Augustine sighed. “The realm takes us from our families so young because they seek to indoctrinate us. Even with this careful upbringing, they ask for only ten years of service because what we do wears us out. We give so much of ourselves. We’re the last hope of so many people, and we’re exposed to horrible things: wounds of violence, dying children, families torn by grief. It’s a heavy burden to bear, and it has an effect on you, on me, on al of us. To feel the destructive urges is natural, Charlotte. But acting on them wil make you a murderer.
Perhaps not right away. Perhaps you can even control it for a time, but in the end, the magic wil consume you, and you wil walk through the land spreading death.
There are no exceptions to this rule. Do not become an abomination, Charlotte.”
“I won’t.” She would contain the darkness. She had to—she simply had no choice.
They walked in silence for a few moments.
“Let us imagine the worst,” Lady Augustine said. “You’re infertile.”
Charlotte’s heart had skipped a beat.
“Yes.”
“It doesn’t mean you have to be childless. There are hundreds of children waiting to be loved. You can’t give birth, Charlotte. That’s only a smal part of being a parent. You can stil be a mother and know al the joys and tortures of raising a child. We get too hung up on bloodlines and family names and our own stupid notions of aristocracy. If someone dropped a basket with a baby on your doorstep, would you real y hesitate to pick it up because the baby wasn’t of your blood? It’s a baby, a tiny life just waiting to be nurtured. Think on it.”
“I don’t have to. I would take the baby,” Charlotte said. She would take it and love it. Whether she carried it to term didn’t matter.
“Of course you would. You are my daughter in everything but blood, and I know you. I think you’l make an excel ent mother.” Tears warmed the back of her eyes.
Charlotte kept them in check. “Thank you.”
“What does your husband think of al of this?”
“Children are very important to him.
His inheritance depends on producing an heir.”
The older woman rol ed her eyes.
“Conditional succession? Oh, the joys of having a noble bloodline and a little bit of money. Is this some new development? I don’t recal this being a condition of your marital contract.”
Charlotte sighed. “It wasn’t.”
“Did he mention at any point before your wedding that he required an heir?”
Charlotte shook her head.
Lady Augustine’s face iced over. “I do not appreciate being lied to. When did you find out?”
“When we realized there was a
problem with conception.”
“This was a conversation the two of you should’ve had before either of you signed your name to the contract. Not only that, but it should’ve been formal y disclosed.” She looked into the distance, the way she did when she was trying to recal things. “How could I have been so wrong? He seemed like such a solid match, a temperate man. Unlikely to cause any problems.” A temperate man? “What does that mean?”
“Charlotte, you need someone steady, someone dependable, who wil treat you with consideration. You’ve done over a decade’s worth of healing, and your magic is starved and tired of doing the same thing over and over. It doesn’t take much to upset this apple cart. That’s why I remained here.” Lady Augustine indicated the garden with an elegant sweep of her hand. “Serenity, beauty, and a low likelihood of psychological or physical trauma. That’s why after a bloody war, some veterans become monks.”
So what, she was somehow too fragile to live her life outside of Col ege wal s?
Charlotte gritted her teeth. “Perhaps Elvei didn’t know about the conditions for succession.”
“Oh no, he knew. We grow up
knowing, Charlotte. He deliberately hid it because I would’ve never given my consent to your wedding.” Charlotte raised her head. “If he made that a requirement of the marriage contract, I wouldn’t have married him. I didn’t want to enter into a contract to produce a baby. I wanted a marriage, and I think he did, too.”
“He wanted children with a healing talent,” the older woman said.
Charlotte stopped.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Lady
Augustine said. “I shouldn’t have said that. It was coarse of me. I’m so furious, and it’s clouding my judgment. It’s my fault. This was exactly the sort of thing I was trying to avoid, and I’ve failed you.