“I don’t think twenty bucks for a couple of shirts is going to raise your brother’s brow. Not even a little bit.”
“I know. But . . .”
“Do you know how much—”
“Twenty-one million dollars a year?” Her eyes lifted from the rack of dresses she was thumbing through. “Yeah, I know how much he makes. It’s not about the money. It’s about everything he’s done for all of us ever since—” She stopped herself short, chewing it out on her lip for a moment. “Do you know about what happened?”
“To your parents?” I asked softly, and she nodded. “Yes, he told me.”
“After that, the three of us could have gone and lived with other family. But we would have had to move away from home, from our friends, our schools. The places we used to go to with Dad and Mom.” She pulled out a dress, but she was obviously seeing something else when she studied the chevron print. “Luke kept us all together. In the same home we grew up in. He talked with Anne and brought her in to take care of us since he couldn’t be home with us for most of the year. He made it so that even though we’d lost our parents, we didn’t have to lose everything else too. It’s not about the money. I already owe Luke more than I could ever hope to pay back.” This time when she worked at her bottom lip, I guessed it was to ward off tears. “Does that make any sense at all?”
“Hey, as someone who can’t take a compliment without feeling like I owe a person big time, I so get it.” I paused to collect my thoughts. “But love isn’t about owing a person or feeling in their debt. It’s about giving what you can, when you can, and allowing that in return. It’s not all a matter of the head—it’s just as much a matter of the heart.”
Alex shifted, hanging the dress back up. “So are you saying to buy both of the shirts?”
I smiled. “Not exactly. What I’m trying to say is just accept what he can and wants to give you without worrying about how you’ll pay him back. Just like you’d want him to accept what you can and want to give him without worrying about how he’ll pay you back.” I felt my forehead crease as I replayed what I’d said to a seventeen-year-old I’d just met smack in the middle of a store that was blasting yet more reprehensible music. “Does that make sense? Because now that I’m rethinking it, I don’t know what I just said.”
Alex laughed, moving on to the next rack. “You’re saying that we all might express it uniquely, but it comes down to the same thing—love.”
“Exactly what I’m saying.”
“Glad we cleared that up.”
A teenage girl who’d been on a handful of dates in her life apparently knew more about the inner workings of love than I did—a grown woman who’d known her fair share of relationships. That was a depressing thought. A sobering reality. I remembered thinking I knew what love was, but somewhere along the way, I’d lost it. Its definition had been skewed by Ben and my subsequent failed relationships. Somewhere along life’s journey, I’d lost the essence of love. The simplicity of it had been lost, hidden by conditions, masked by doubt, veiled by qualifiers.
Here, in this toddler-clothing-sized store, with this young girl, I’d just remembered it. You either loved a person or you didn’t. They either loved you or they didn’t. Time didn’t play a role in it, and neither did circumstance.
It wasn’t a decision you came to logically; it was a feeling you knew instinctively.
The next realization that hit me had me reaching for a rack to keep myself from teetering in place. Thankfully, my stream of thoughts was interrupted.
“How is he?” Alex glanced out the front of the store where we could just make out Luke. Who was getting another round of jeers from fans in Shock caps. He responded with a peace sign.
“Good,” I answered, moving with her to the next rounder of shirts. “He’s having an amazing season. Setting some records already. Other than the muscle strain, he’s been great.”
“I watch every game. I know every stat. That’s not what I’m asking about. How is Luke, my brother? Not Luke Archer, the baseball player.”
“Oh.” When I held up a shirt with a baseball on it, she held out her hand to take it. “Why are you asking me?”
“Because you’re on the team with him. You two must spend a lot of time together.” Her eyes met mine and stayed there a moment. “And I maybe haven’t missed the way you two look at each other.” She glanced out into the mall where Luke was stationed, his gaze intent on us. “And the way you act around each other.”