“Chase—how can you talk to me like that after what we shared last night? Everything you promised me?” Trish asked, sounding hurt.
Shared? Promised? I didn’t—Fuck! “No!” There’s no way I would have done something like that to Harper, no fucking way. “You just ruined my life, do you understand that?”
“I-I-I’m sorry, I—”
“Don’t fucking apologize to me! Harper is the only person you should be apologizing to, but understand that if you ever contact her, or me for that matter, again, I will make the rest of your life a living hell!”
“Cha—”
I hung up before she could say any more and threw my iPhone against the wall as hard as I could. The case shattered, and Princess flinched as a chunk flew right past her head. “Oh God, Harper. I’m sorry!” I walked quickly toward her and watched as she shrank into the chair, her face pale and body shaking. Oh my God, I’m scaring her. I couldn’t have made things any worse if I had tried. “I have to go, before I mess this up more.” I brushed my knuckles along her jaw, hating that she flinched when I touched her and trying to memorize her face. “I’m sorry for everything. I can’t say that enough, Harper, I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t end us, though. I will earn your trust again somehow, just don’t do this.”
“Don’t make this harder for either of us; you know how I feel. Let’s give it a few days, and we’ll see if we can start again as friends. No matter what happens to us, Chase, I want you in his life.”
But I wanted to be in her life, too. My world meant nothing if it didn’t have both of them in it. My stomach churned, and my vision blurred as I realized this was it, the moment I’d always wanted her to find but had always dreaded—when she realized she was better off without me. “I love you, Princess,” I whispered before kissing her one more time and walking out the door.
My body shook brutally with a new round of sobs as soon as I was in my truck, and I slumped against the steering wheel. This is what she needed, but I couldn’t let this happen. I was too selfish to let her go; I needed her more than she could ever imagine. Before I met her, I’d thought my life was perfect. But, in reality, it was meaningless, and would go back to being just that if she was gone. Every ounce of my being was yelling at me to go back into my parents’ house, pull her into my arms, and make her forget about what had happened. But if I was to ever get her back, I needed to give her the space I knew she needed. I scrubbed my hands down my face and cranked the engine over, I had to get out of there before the idea of kissing her senseless started sounding better and better.
While I drove, I thought about everything that had happened in the last year with her, and I couldn’t believe one girl had changed me so completely. My chest rose and fell quickly as I thought about everything I’d done wrong when it came to her, wishing I hadn’t wasted so much time being an asshole to her, and at the same time wishing I had continued to push her away. But how do you continue to push away your reason for staying on this earth? My chest tightened as my heart and mind continued to fight for two different outcomes. I didn’t know which side was winning out. I just knew I wanted her—and I wanted her forever.
Thoughts of my conversation with Brandon in the morning kept creeping back, and though I wanted to push them away, I knew he was right. I knew he was what was best for her. Hadn’t I always been the one saying that? To her—to everyone? Brandon wouldn’t do this to her, he wouldn’t crush her over and over again, but I didn’t know if I had the strength to leave her for good. She was mine—she would always be mine.
I lifted my hips slightly to reach for my phone in my back pocket. When I didn’t feel it, I started going through all my other pockets. Nothing. Where was my phone? I needed to call her. Even if she didn’t answer, I needed to tell her I loved her and that I wasn’t giving up on us, I never would. I felt around on the passenger seat, again turning up nothing. I looked in the rearview mirror and out the windshield. No cars around me, and the light up ahead was still green. Leaning over, I ran my hand over the floor on the passenger side but didn’t feel anything. I swear I had just—Trish . . . I threw my phone against the wall. Fuck, I’d left it at Mom’s. I sat up quickly, deciding it was a sign, and I needed to go back and take Harper into my arms and talk everything out.
I saw the lights out of the corner of my eye before I heard the horn. My eyes darted up to see the red light before I turned my head just in time to have my entire body rocked and the sound of crunching metal fill my world.