“I know”—I sighed—“I freakin’ feel like it.”
“Screw you, babe!” Marissa shouted, and suddenly she was talking loud enough I figured I was off speaker. “Chase, she loves you. You aren’t nothing to her, she’s just confused. She doesn’t know what to do. Her boyfriend is coming back, and she just admitted to his best friend that she’s in love with him too and lost her v-card to him. She’s probably freaking out. If she said she needs a few weeks, then give the girl a few weeks. But don’t just leave her, Chach.”
I snorted at her nickname for me. “Do you think this is all one big game to her?”
“No way. If it were, she wouldn’t have a problem leaving you.”
Just before I could ask how Marissa was sure she wouldn’t, the worst sound in the world sounded over the running water of the shower. “Fuck.”
“What? What happened?”
“I can hear her crying.” I ran a hand through my hair and grabbed a fistful as I pushed off the wall. “I gotta go to her, Marissa.”
“Damn straight you do! This is just as hard for her, probably harder because she’s the one who has to choose.”
I stumbled halfway up the steps at that. “I don’t know what I’ll do if she chooses him,” I said honestly. “I need her.”
“I know, Chach.”
“Gotta go, thanks Riss.” We said good-bye, and I tossed the phone on my bed, which just that morning had been a major part of my favorite moment in my life, and, I was afraid, would only ever be a memory.
I opened the door to my steam-filled bathroom, and the pained sobs that filled the room pierced my chest.
Oh, Princess.
Harper was holding herself up against the tile wall when I stepped in behind her, and I didn’t know how my heart could break any more. Grabbing around her waist, I turned her toward me and pressed her close to my body as hers shook with hard sobs. The thought of losing Harper had tears falling down my face for the second time that morning—before that day, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried. But after that night with my princess, I didn’t know how I was supposed to go through life without her. I gripped her harder to me when her sobs quieted, and looked down at her puffy red eyes when her head tilted back to look up at me.
She looked at me for what felt like hours before speaking, her voice rough and scratchy from crying. “Why are you in here?”
Where else would I be? My whole world was crashing down, and I was trying to hold on to it for as long as possible. “Because you need me, and if this is my last hour with you, I’m not going to waste another second of it.”
I bent to touch my lips softly to hers and was met with a hungry kiss that quickly escalated. I hadn’t taken the time to get out of my jeans when I got in there, and they were soaked, but we furiously worked at getting them off, all the while bringing our mouths back to each other’s and pressing our bodies closer. The hot water pelted down on us as I pushed Harper against one of the shower walls, the steam so heavy in the bathroom that there was nothing but my princess and me. Slowing down so I wouldn’t ruin, or ever forget this, I pulled away to look at her. Her bottom lip was trembling, the tears still falling from her passion-filled eyes as she watched me memorize every bit of her. I cupped her cheeks, wiping away tears and water from the shower before sucking on her bottom lip and taking her mouth with mine.
Her hands went up my chest, around my neck, and into my hair as I used the wall for leverage in lifting her up, wrapping her legs around me, and positioning myself at her entrance. I groaned, and a muffled cry left her when I pushed in and began to slowly make love to her for what I prayed wasn’t the last time but had a sinking feeling would be. Like I’d told her, if this was my last hour with her, my last time with her . . . there was no way I’d waste a moment of it. She climaxed, gripping the tensing muscles in my back and shoulders seconds before I followed. Not willing to end the moment, I just stood there with her in my arms, our foreheads pressed together, eyes locked on each other, and I hoped she understood that I was hers, completely and undeniably, forever. That if I had all of this to do all over again, I would change everything. And that in any life, in any situation, I’d choose her. Every time.
An hour and a half later we were sitting in my truck, outside my house, and I was gripping Harper’s hand like a lifeline. We hadn’t said a word since I’d told her why I was in the shower, but there wasn’t anything to say that we hadn’t been showing each other—that I loved her, and always would. And I had no doubt she loved me, too. It had been there in her eyes; but so had that look like someone had just crushed her heart, and I was terrified that her love for me wouldn’t be enough to keep her with me. But now, I knew I had to let her go for however long she needed to make a decision that could potentially change everything.