I stepped closer to her and ignored the warning growl Brandon sent my way as I placed my fingers on the large bruise on her arm. I’d done that, I’d hurt this perfect, innocent, frustrating-as-hell girl.
“Harper”—my voice gave out, and I had to clear it a couple times before I could talk again—“can I please talk to you alone?”
I couldn’t even care when Brandon kissed her and spoke softly to her. All I could see were the bruises on Harper’s arms. He kissed her, and though a part of me felt like it died again, I couldn’t find it in me to do anything about it. As soon as he left, and I heard the front door shut, I exhaled roughly and couldn’t keep quiet anymore. “Are you okay? God, that’s a stupid question, of course you’re not.”
“No, I am. I’m fine.”
“How can you even say that?”
“Because I am. They don’t hurt, and I didn’t even know they were there until Brandon saw them.”
So stubborn and frustrating! Yell at me, please! Tell me you hate me and never want to see me again, anything; just don’t act like this is nothing. “I just—I never meant to hurt you, I swear.”
Her hands found their way around my neck, and she pulled down until my forehead was resting against hers. I was so shocked by what she was doing, I couldn’t even try to push her away like I knew I should. I took in a shaky breath. God, what is it about this girl? “I know you didn’t, Chase. It really is okay; you were drunk, and I was being stubborn.”
There she went again! “Don’t do that. Don’t act like it’s okay when it’s not. You do this with everyone. And please don’t make excuses for me. Yes, I was drunk, and I don’t always realize what I’m doing after I’ve been drinking, but that’s no excuse, Princess.”
Her soft laugh and the way she gently squeezed my neck tugged at my heart. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t drink then.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t.” If I had it my way, Harper and I wouldn’t be standing in this room right now, we wouldn’t be pressed against each other. I would just be her roommate’s brother who pisses her off. But when it came to this girl, I was no longer in control of anything. She consumed me in every way possible. My brain was telling me to run from her, to keep her safe, to keep her from someone like me, but she had my heart completely, and that was winning out. I wanted her, I wanted her to want me and only me. Not Brandon even though I knew he was the better choice for her. But that just didn’t matter to me at that moment; all I cared about was the fact that one of my best friends was winning over the only girl that would ever mean anything to me. “Why him, Harper?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why Brandon? You’d never been kissed, why’d you choose him to change that?”
“Why not Brandon?”
I snorted. Because I’m right freakin’ here wanting nothing more than to love you forever.
“Why does that bother you so much, Chase?”
“Because you deserve someone who realizes how amazing you are. You shouldn’t have just let the first guy who gave you the time of day kiss you.”
“You’re acting like I gave him everything, and all we’ve done is kiss! And who are you to judge who I do and do not kiss?”
She’d removed herself from my arms and went to sit on the bed; that was too far for me. I just followed her and put my hands on each side of her as I rested my forehead against hers again. “Please don’t. Don’t give him everything. He doesn’t deserve you, Harper.”
“And who does, Chase . . . you?”
God, why did she have to talk all soft and breathy like that? Why did her chest have to rise and fall so quickly; I knew I just had to say the word, and I could make her mine. Say it. Say it, you stupid bastard! I squeezed my eyes shut and let my head fall from hers. “No. I don’t deserve you either. You need someone who will cherish you, protect you, and take care of you. Someone that realizes they’d never be able to find another you in the world, no matter how hard they looked.” I looked back into her soft gray eyes and continued to fight with myself on taking what I needed and giving her what she needed. Without thinking about it, I leaned in close until I could feel her breath against my lips; I would have given anything to kiss her. Just as I started to close the already minimal space between us, her voice stopped me and snapped me back to my reality.
“Chase . . .”
“That first night, I did realize I would never meet another girl like you. But you deserve someone who has waited for you as long as you have waited for them. And no matter how much I wish I could be that guy, I can’t, Harper.” I leaned back, and she collapsed onto the bed with a hard sigh. I couldn’t stop myself then, and I leaned over her and kissed her soft throat. That was all I could allow myself. “You’re amazing, Harper. There will never be anyone good enough for you.”