“Thank you.” I pressed my head against his naked chest. “I just… needed a minute, looking at him is one thing, hearing him speak…” I shuddered. “And then the way he was watching me.”
“He always wanted you,” Will stated in a flat tone. “Every teenage guy on the planet wanted you… I think that’s what started it. The fact that you and I just clicked, the fact that you immediately put him in this friend zone that I only encouraged because I knew he admired you… liked you.”
I peeked up at Will, his brown eyes focused in on me with laser like intensity. “I only wanted you.”
He dragged another kiss across my lips, then another, until I was flat on my back on the couch, until I was moving my hands to his still wet jeans, until his movements were just as frantic as mine as we removed every last layer of clothing separating us.
My body ached for him.
Only him.
It always had.
It always would.
He kissed the palm of my hand, his eyes never leaving mine as my body fit around his, he rolled against me, into me. With every stroke my body cried out.
He rose above me again as a shudder of desire rippled between us, the way he filled me was explosive, like my body wasn’t sure how to react, how to deal.
Our lips met.
But we didn’t kiss.
We just existed.
And when his body melted against mine, when the very last throb of tension snapped between us, he said my name like a prayer, releasing it into the universe as if his only wish was me.
We lay like that, skin against skin, for another few minutes before Will finally got up and then ran a hand over his face like he was contemplating something really serious.
“What’s wrong?” I jumped to my feet and nearly collided with the coffee table when he gripped my forearms and paled just a bit. “Will?”
“Maybe it’s because I love you, that this though never entered my mind, that it never even was a possibility but—” His throat bobbed, as if he was trying to think of how to say something. “We’ve done nothing but have wild crazy, unprotected teenage sex for the past thirty-six hours.”
I shrugged. “So?”
“So…” His eyes dripped with concern.
“Oh.” I looked down, shame making me feel more exposed and naked than I’d ever felt in my entire life. Because it was Will. “I haven’t… been… I mean I’ve been tested, I’m clean if that’s what you’re getting at. In rehab, they test you for those sorts of—”
His mouth slammed against mine, sending me against the wall as his body braced me there, hands on either side of my head. “I’m only going to say this once, so listen.”
I gulped.
“I wasn’t asking if you were clean, Ang. I was trying to get at the fact that if you aren’t on some sort of birth control, you could get pregnant. Do you really think I’m that insensitive that I’d accuse you or even think—” He cursed, “I’m a dick, I guess I did say all of those things about the STD and drug tests, I’m sorry I—“
It was my turn to maul him.
To launch myself in his arms and kiss him like I was dying.
When I broke free he smirked. “What was that for?”
“Trust,” I said. “It was for your trust.”
His eyebrows shot up.
I silenced him with another kiss then slowly slid down his body until I was achingly aware how ready he was for another round. “And I’m on the pill… it’s the only pill I take these days except ibuprofen… and even though I can’t sleep some nights I still refuse to take anything that could make me feel… loopy.” I shrugged. “But thank you… for caring. For being… responsible.”
He groaned.
I laughed.
And then he was kissing me again, and I forgot all about the awkwardness, the shame, I even forgot about the fact that the last time I’d talked about pregnancy with anyone I’d been shut out.
Abandoned.
Left alone.
Bleeding.
Battered.
Broken.
But we’d kept it in the past.
Where it deserved to be.
THINGS WERE GOING too good.
And when things went good.
I panicked.
As an agent, it usually meant that you were minutes from a phone call about a publicity stunt gone wrong, or an actor taking a bender, or one of your musicians trashing a hotel room.
Ticket sales being down.
Labels dropping musicians.
Every single time I had this feeling.
Something happened.
It was the same feeling that woke me up that night and made me go search for Angelica. The place in my bed, the space she belonged in was empty. And I’d missed her even as dread washed over me.
The same dread that followed well into the night when she was in my arms, when we rode together to set.