Except it represented both his trust and forgiveness.
And in that moment all I wanted in life was to be worthy of more doors I could open, where he’d be standing on the other side.
I made him wait until I was ready to face him.
Until he was ready to face me.
And when I walked outside, I knew it was time.
I dropped my armor at the door, held my head high, and spoke to both past and present.
Praying for a future.
I leapt.
And he followed.
The cold air bit into my skin before the water from the heated pool swirled around me, and then warm hands pulled me against a strong chest. His mouth was on mine before I could protest, my legs wrapped around his body before he had a chance to deny me.
“I never stopped,” Will said between kisses, “loving you.”
He swallowed my surprised cry as arms and legs tangled around each other, like our bodies were finally aware that they were home, that it was okay to touch, to explore, to feel without fear of getting shoved away.
He pressed me against the pool wall, his lips on my neck, his heavy breathing our mood music as I matched him kiss for kiss, his hungry lips tasted like a mixture of the sunset and ice cold beer.
I’d always hated beer.
Until I tasted it on him.
And then a craving set in so intense that I whimpered, this, this was what I’d tried to numb myself against all those times I’d taken a hit, maybe I’d always known that Will would destroy me, and that it was smarter to destroy myself first, before he realized what a fraud I was.
Better to be numb and forget the taste of him.
Than feel it, remember, and suffer the rest of my life.
I clung to his shoulders as his hard length pressed against my stomach, yeah all man; he was all man now. His hand slid up my back, flinging my bra off before it dug into my hair and pulled, his heated kiss reminding me of all the reasons it hurt to not be with him. He hooked his free hand in my panties and drug them down until I felt them float away from my feet, body hot, the pool still wasn’t enough to cool me down, not when his hands were on me, not when his mouth was moving across my skin.
I greedily took him in my hand only to have him move me away. “You’ll kill me before this is over with and I’m just getting started.”
“I want to touch you,” I pleaded.
“Later,” he said gruffly as he teased my entrance. I cried out even though it was the softest touch, the gentlest graze.
My body arched into him, begging for more as pool water splashed around our frenzied bodies. My head pressed into the cement wall, my body chilled as he pulled me deeper into the pool, carrying me while we kissed, while our wet lips slid like silk, over and over again.
A thrilling shudder wracked my body as his hand moved to my core, I bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out as heat enveloped me, building until it threatened to spill over.
His wild movements slowed before he started again. I squeezed my thighs in an effort to keep him there, to keep the feeling there so I didn’t lose control.
His dark laugh followed by another all-consuming flick of his wrist was my downfall, I wrapped my legs around his arm like a vise and struggled for breath as I fell apart in his arms.
Rain started to pour.
A hurricane couldn’t stop us.
Stop this.
“I’m so sorry,” I said between more heated kisses as he led me to the stairs at the shallow end and positioned himself over me, his muscled body dripped with droplets of water as they streamed off his chest.
He may as well be Poseidon, with the stormy look he gave me, like I was the only solution to the rain pounding around us, the lightning that suddenly flashed across the sky matching the intensity behind his gaze.
I was enraptured with the look on his face, the way he looked at me, not the way that the rest of world did, but the way I’d always dreamed.
Like I wasn’t tarnished.
Without warning, he entered me with one powerful thrust that had my head nearly colliding with the cement behind me. It was unbearable, feeling him inside me, filling me, knowing that at some point we’d have to leave the pool when I wanted to live on those stairs forever.
The ache in my body turned into a ravenous yearning for more as he slowed his pace then stopped altogether, gazing down at me and whispering. “I’m sorry too.”
His lips bit down on my neck and sucked, I clung to his shoulders digging my fingers into his wet skin only to lose my grip with each movement. Each kiss was another chink of my armor being stripped right along with broken pieces healing.
I squeezed my eyes shut as he drove into me, over and over again.
“Will!” I shouted his name as my eyes opened. And then locked onto his. I let him see me.
I saw him.
The controlling façade slipped, replaced with hunger.