So maybe things wouldn’t have been different.
And now there was too much emotional damage between us.
I sat in the sand and wondered if it had been too much, serving him coffee in one of the many things I’d kept from our relationship and refused to let go of. He’d slammed his coffee cup into a million pieces while packing his stuff away the day everything ended, and I’d kept the one I made for him.
I never shot a film without it.
Never left home without it.
Because a part of me felt like every single time I took a sip from the mug, maybe, just maybe, I could still taste his lips.
I closed my eyes and laid back against the sand, too lazy to grab a towel or do anything but sulk and try to figure out why I was suddenly able to move forward while Will seemed stuck in quick sand.
“Hey!” Zane plopped down next to me, sand landed all over my body. I shouldn’t be surprised, it was Zane.
And then another body plopped on the other side, “Hey, man want a banana?”
“Love bananas,” Zane answered.
“Hey, Demetri.” I said it in a fake surprised voice. “Fancy seeing you here, on set…”
“We’re working on the theme song.” His response before another male voice interrupted. “Jay lost his shit today.”
Zane snorted. “It was bound to happen.”
“Surprised it didn’t happen sooner,” Alec said with his deep rumble.
My brother soon joined.
And I was surrounded by nothing but perfect men, half of whose lives I had wanted to destroy at one point, and most likely the only true friends I’d ever had.
I shrugged. “I heard there was a fight, but I don’t know what happened.”
Nobody made eye contact except Zane, and he had this funny look on his face like I should know exactly what the fight was about.
Demetri coughed.
Zane’s eyebrows shot up in encouragement.
Finally, Linc threw up his hands. “It was about you.”
“Me?” I frowned, “Did I do something wrong? Again?” I laid back against the sand and leaned up on my elbows. “Because I’ve been on time.”
“And you’ve been kicking ass.” Linc winked, “Nah, sis, not about the movie, I mean well, sort of, you know what, maybe you should ask Jay?”
Zane sighed loudly and gave a look to each one of the guys before he said, “You know he’s been my agent since he quit music, right?”
I swallowed, my throat getting drier by the second. “Yes.”
Zane flicked some sand away from his ripped jeans. “So, basically he was a wreck, totally focused on work. Not the guy I remembered, the guy I used to tour with. God, I worshipped him. It’s why I signed with him, he was like… larger than life.”
Alec smiled at Zane sadly. “Remember when the lights went out in Madison Square Garden? And he asked everyone to turn on their cell phones? He created a spotlight and kept singing. The entire place was so silent it was… eerie. They hung on his every word.”
“Lighthouse.” I said. “He was singing Lighthouse.”
And then Demetri started singing.
My mouth dropped open in shock.
Alec tapped against his legs like he was playing drums, and then Zane joined in, and Linc just grinned at me.
“Come on, Ang, sing with us.” Zane elbowed me.
I bit down on my lip, suddenly nervous. I’d only ever sung for Will. The fact that Zane knew that only told me that these guys… these guys knew his secrets, they knew things about us, and in their own way…
They were trying to help.
“I haven’t sung since…” Well, I’d sung the other night with Will, but before then, it had been years.
“Nobody’s here.” Zane shrugged. “One hour lunch.”
And then he started in on the next verse, a slow melody of rhythm followed the way he and the other guys harmonized perfectly. No wonder they were in charge of the music.
“Light me on fire…” I closed my eyes and kept singing. “How can I spend any amount of time without your light?” I bobbed my head as Linc took out his phone. “It makes me think of lonely nights, when you’re not leading the way, but I should have begged you harder to stay.”
Alec crooned. “Be my lighthouse — lead the way — wherever your light shines, I’ll forever stay.”
“You spread your wings across the sky,” I lifted my arms up, “And said you’d catch me since I can’t fly. Let me go.”
“Never.” Demetri added. “Because you light me on fire…”
The guys suddenly stopped singing.
All eyes fell behind me.
Zane looked guilty.
I felt guilty even though I didn’t know what I had done wrong.