“I will not hesitate to throw a plate at your face if you make me do this again. I’m exhausted. I want a shower. A hot meal where I can get cheese on my face and not see it in tomorrow’s news. And if I’m being completely honest I would probably shove a steak knife into that cold bitter heart of yours for a sip of white wine.”
Will tilted my chin toward him with nothing but his thumb and forefinger, his eyes darted between my mouth and my eyes.
My tongue slid out and wet my bottom lip.
And before I knew what was happening he was kissing me.
Parting my lips with his tongue, piercing my heart with every press of his lips against mine, and swallowing every moan that erupted from my shameless body.
He tore away from me too soon.
I touched my mouth with my hand.
Just in time for his startled gaze to return to stone. “Now we can go home.”
I was too shocked to slap him.
Too hurt to move.
“Let’s go.” He grabbed my arm and led me through the restaurant and I was numb all over again.
I might have used drugs just as badly as they used me.
I was a lot of things.
But I’d never used people the way Will had just used me.
And suddenly I felt like that dirty drug addict all over again.
But worse.
Because this time it wasn’t drugs staring at me in the face, judging me, making me feel dirty.
It was the man I used to love.
I STORMED OUT of the restaurant, blindly walked down the boardwalk, and ignored Will’s yells.
Cameras flashing.
Whispering.
Pointing.
I tripped on my flip flop again.
And ran like hell.
I ran until my legs burned.
Until the threat of people taking pictures of me faded as my legs created distance between me and them.
The minute my feet hit the sand, I grabbed my sandals and ran harder.
The salty ocean air hit me in the face, mixing with the mist from the waves. Two years ago, my only goal had been to reinvent myself and ruin friends in the process. I was willing to do anything to be on top again.
Two years ago, I wouldn’t have just kissed Will I would have seduced him for the cameras.
I would have taken body shots and laughed while he licked tequila and salt off my stomach.
Now the idea of doing any of that for anyone other than myself, made me sick.
My toes squished into the white sand.
I was finally able to breathe. Finally able to think.
I fell to my knees.
The tears came.
Because it was impossible to hold them back anymore. What the hell was I doing? Maybe I didn’t belong in the industry anymore. I wasn’t tough enough for it. Because the minute I wrapped that hard shell around myself, all of the other bad things came with it.
The lies. The drugs. The late nights. The jealousy. The competitiveness. The ruthlessness.
I didn’t know how to separate the two because they’d been so closely intertwined for such a long time.
My tears dropped onto the sand, only to be washed away by the tide as it slowly crept past my body, soaking into my clothes, pressing the drenched fabric against my shivering skin.
“If you’re thinking about drowning yourself, might I suggest a pool? A hell of a lot warmer,” came Demetri’s familiar voice.
My head jerked up.
His blond hair looked sticky against his sweaty forehead. He was wearing tennis shoes and shorts, and had sweat running down the middle of his ridiculously tanned and built chest.
“You run now?” I blurted.
He grinned. “Yeah well, apparently when you get older you can’t eat shit every day and not see it turn into more shit on your body, plus it helps with the anxiety.”
“You hate exercise.”
“I hate birds too, but actually threw a fry to one this morning. I think of it as my first steps toward peace.”
I laughed through my tears. “Well, you’ve officially shocked me. I never thought I’d see the day where Demetri Daniels would run on purpose or actually get close enough to a bird to feed it.”
He knelt on the ground next to me. “It was a really small bird, pretty sure it had a broken wing, I would have kicked its ass in a fight.”
A smile tugged my lips, “You’re making yourself sound worse, you get that right?”
He shrugged and sat down in the wet sand next to me. “So, you thinking about going out there?”
“I’d survive maybe two minutes. I’m more of a drowner than a floater, and the water’s frigid.”
“Not to mention the jellyfish.” He nodded seriously and then cracked a smile. “Hey wait—”
I rolled my eyes and gave him a shove.
“That’s it!” He snapped his fingers. “Isn’t this the exact spot where you got stung by a jellyfish and Jay offered to piss on you?”
“Yeah,” I croaked. “I think he was looking forward to whipping his impressive appendage out more than peeing on me.”