Steady as the Snow Falls(31)

But none of that could pass her lips.

Instead, Beth set the container down on the counter and hugged Benny,  hard and tight, and when she inhaled the laundry detergent and cologne  smell of her brother, she felt safe.

"Mom said something similar last week," she admitted as she pulled away.

"Who do you think taught me to be the way I am? Well, and Dad, but more  Mom. She's tough as nails." Benny grinned, showing off a crooked canine.  "And you-she taught you how to be too." He pointed a blunt finger at  her collarbone. "Be it, little sister."

Beth good-naturedly slapped at his finger and put the mashed potatoes in  the refrigerator. "I'm trying." She nodded to the doorway that went  downstairs. "Go drink your beer with Jake and Dad. You're out of place  up here."         

     



 

She smiled as her brother jogged across the room and stomped down the  stairs. Beth was lucky to have such a caring family. After cleaning the  last of the few dishes and wiping off the counter and table, Beth hung  out with her sisters-in-law, niece, and her mom for an hour. She laughed  and talked about movies and music with Whitney, her eyes continually  finding the clock on the wall. She didn't have plans to see Harrison;  there was no reason for her to be anxious to leave.

But she was.

When Beth felt sufficient time had passed, she got to her feet and let  them know she would be back Saturday. Her blood streamed through her  veins, telling her to hurry to a destination she did not have. Beth  didn't think she'd be at ease until she next saw Harrison. With a hug  and a smile aimed at her family, Beth packed on her winter gear and  headed out into the cold night. Her breaths left her in wisps of white  and Beth tipped her head back to admire the blanket of twinkling lights  in the dark sky.

Instead of going home, she drove the Blazer out of town, slowing down as  she passed the driveway that went to Harrison's. She told herself it  was perfectly normal to check up on someone to make sure they weren't  alone. Beth wanted to know he had someone. Trembles overtook her body  and chattered her teeth in the cold interior of her vehicle. Lights  shone from inside the house, and she could vaguely make out the form of a  vehicle parked near the garage. Someone was there. Her heart unclenched  just a bit, and she headed back to Crystal Lake.

Home wasn't where she wanted to be, and after she parked the car in the  garage, Beth walked around the neighborhood. A few houses had Christmas  lights up, but most remained bare. When she was younger, every Christmas  Eve her mom would take her and her two brothers for walks around town  to look at all the different light and yard displays.

Eventually, as her brothers got older and left the house, it was only  Beth and her mom. They'd stay up late and drink hot chocolate when they  got back home, watch Christmas movies until Beth fell asleep beside her  mom on the couch. Christmas Eve was one of her favorite memories because  of that time spent with her mom. It made her think of Harrison  exploring the countryside with his father.

Deciding it would be fun to walk around town and admire the lights with  her family, and would help distract her from obsessing over Harrison,  Beth grinned to herself as she headed back in the direction of her  parents' home. She was sure her sisters-in-law, Whitney, and her mom  would be up for it, even if the men weren't.

She didn't realize whose house she was near until a shadow separated  from the night, revealing a tall, lanky figure. Beth went still, making  out an all-too-familiar form. Ozzy looked at her with eyes that matched  the darkness around them. He stepped from the lawn of his brother's  house and stopped in front of her, directly beneath the light of a  streetlamp. His hair was an unruly mop on his head, adding to his boyish  looks, and he had on faded jeans and a long-sleeved white shirt.

"Did you have a good Thanksgiving?" His tone wasn't pleasant. It was accusatory, like the hardness of his features.

Beth took a step to the left, and he followed, sharp-eyed and stiff-jawed. "Get out of the way, Ozzy."

"Answer the question, Beth."

"I'm not doing this anymore. I'm tired of it. Please, just leave me alone." Beth stepped by him. "We are done."

Ozzy forcefully gripped her arm and swung her around to face him. "What are you doing at that house outside of town?"

"What?" she whispered, instant panic crumbling her anger. What did he  know? Had he found out about Harrison? Beth attempted to pull her arm  away, and he tightened his grasp until a sound of pain left her. "Let me  go."

He put his face next to hers. Madness glowed in his eyes. "I know you've  been hiding something. I followed you. You went there every day this  past week and stayed for hours each time. That's where you were that  night you couldn't come to work, isn't it? There is no job, is there?"

"Listen to how you sound. You're stalking me now? What happened to you? I  don't even know who you are. You are disturbed, Ozzy," she ground out,  more worried for Harrison than for herself.

For herself, she was enraged. Beyond fear. She was sick of him spying on  her, sick of feeling like she was obligated to him in some way. Sick of  feeling weak. Sick of it all. Beth's body trembled, and it wasn't from  the cold. Fury, hot and thick, scorched along her flesh. She tried to  wrench her wrist away from his grasp again, but again, it was to no  avail.

"I don't know who you are. You aren't the girl I fell in love with," he  spat out, clenching her wrist hard enough that she gasped.         

     



 

"Let go of me now, or I'll scream."

Something in her expression or voice registered, and with a sneer on his  face, he dropped her arm and stepped back. "Patty said you spent more  money at the salon in one day than you used to spend there in a year.  That's not you, not normally. Spreading your legs for some old geezer to  make money? Is that what you're doing up at that house in the country?"

The crack of her palm on his cheek was as loud and menacing as thunder.  Ozzy's face was imprinted with red, and her hand throbbed. Beth's voice  shook as she told him, "Don't disrespect me like that again."

He lowered his head and glared into her eyes. "You're keeping secrets, and I'm going to find out what they are."

"My secrets are not for you to wonder about. This ends now. Don't talk  to me, don't show up where I am, don't even think about me."

"Or what?"

"Or this won't stay between you and me."

"You're right," he agreed. "It won't. Not for much longer. Secrets only last for so long, Beth. Good luck trying to keep yours."

Beth shoved past him, his words freezing her insides.

"You were supposed to be with me, not leave me!"

She spun around and screamed, "You were supposed to love me, not hurt me!"

The door to his brother's house opened and closed. Steve Peck rested his  back to the door, crossing his arms as he faced their way. "Let's go  inside now, Ozzy."

Ozzy's chest heaved as he exhaled, the light going out from his eyes.  Beth fought to breathe, but every time she inhaled, it burned. Ozzy  looked at her, but she didn't know if he really saw her. Did he see  their past, remember that night? The night when their love became  twisted, dark. When it died a little, and died more and more as time  went on. She thought Ozzy saw it, as clearly as she did every time she  looked at him.

He nodded, slowly backing away, and turned.

Beth pressed her hands to her mouth and stumbled in the direction of her  house. She'd hit him. She'd hit someone she used to love. How could she  do that? After everything they'd once been to one another, they were  less than nothing. Enemies. Beth dropped her hands, looking at them as  she walked. Tears choked her throat, and she let them fall, wondering  how her life had gotten unrecognizable.

Maybe she should have stayed with Ozzy, pretended not to feel alone and  neglected, pretended she loved him like she should. It would have been  easier. At least one of them would be happy. Beth could have pretended  he was enough. She could have talked herself into believing she didn't  need to be her own person, and that being half of Ozzy was what she  wanted.

Pretended that he loved her like he should, like she needed.

Pretended like she didn't know about his unfaithfulness.

Pretended that he never hurt her.

Her boots hit the curb to her yard wrong when she tried to step over it,  and Beth's knees banged against it as she crumpled to the frozen  ground. She sat like that, huddled up within herself. Broken. Scared.  Angry. Sad. Fighting tears that were stronger than her. Beth cursed  herself, and Harrison, and Ozzy, and her stupid, stupid heart that  forgave too often, and felt guilt over moving on, and ached for a man  that wasn't meant to be hers.

Come on, Beth. Put yourself back together. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help anyone. Get up. Get up and move.

When she was somewhat in control, she carefully picked herself off the  ground, wiped snow from her, and with shaking fingers, the tears from  her face. Beth straightened her lopsided ponytail and cleared her  throat. Shoulders back, she strode past her Blazer and to the house, but  at the last second, she continued back to the SUV.