Steady as the Snow Falls(19)

     



 

Her eyes drifted closed not long after the last word was read, the  driving question of why it was Harrison's favorite book prominent in her  mind.

As soon as dawn lightened the sky, she was up and out the door. She  didn't say goodbye. She didn't let her departure be known in any way.  Beth wanted to look back at the house before getting into the warmed up  Blazer, and because of that, she wouldn't let herself. The roads were  clear, and the open skies and fresh air righted her thoughts once more.  She wasn't attracted to Harrison. It would be a horrible mistake to  think she was.

It was simply because they'd been together for so many hours yesterday,  just the two of them, and the circumstances brought on familiarity that  wasn't really there. Confused her. Put hunger in his eyes and in her  bones. Beth groaned, shaking her head in denial of what her body told  her was true. When she went back that afternoon, everything would make  sense again.

The undetectable wall would be back in place.

"Yes. Yes, it will."

Beth made a stop at the grocery store on her way home, stocking up on  essentials that were running low. Ozzy's truck appeared outside her  house as she was removing the grocery bags from the back of the Blazer,  the loud and obnoxious rumble of it announcing his arrival. She softly  cursed, not surprised by his appearance but aggravated just the same.  His brother's wife worked at Chester's Grocer, and it made sense that  she would inform Ozzy of Beth's stop at the store so early in the  morning.

Anything out of the ordinary was suspect, and Beth grocery shopping at  an hour she was normally sleeping qualified. There were spies  everywhere, and if she ever truly wanted to be free from Ozzy, Beth knew  she would have to move out of town. But her parents were here;  everything that made her who she was, was here. She wasn't ready for  that farewell.

She set down the bags and waited for him to approach.

"You lied," were the first words he said to her.

His square jaw was tight and his golden eyes glittered with anger. He  wore jeans and his jean jacket with a blue hooded flannel shirt beneath  it. His brown hair swirled around his head like he'd jumped out of bed  and raced to her house without brushing it-and he probably had.

"You weren't home with a bad back. I was worried about you and stopped  by after filling in for you at The Lucky Coin. The Blazer was gone. You  weren't home. Where were you, really?" The freezing air singed his skin,  turning it pink.

"How do you know the Blazer was gone?" Her lips were stiff, frozen with cold and Ozzy's anger.

"The side door to the garage was unlocked." Ozzy shifted his eyes to the left, the motion announcing a possible lie.

Beth stared at Ozzy, a wave of dread sweeping over her. She always made  sure every door was locked. Always. "You were in my house?"

"No," he denied, still not looking at her.

The landlord was a family friend of the Pecks', and if Ozzy showed up at  his house with concern over Beth's welfare, would he give him a key?  Her stomach spun with sickness. Beth didn't want to believe it. She was  beginning to feel like she wasn't safe from Ozzy anywhere. She was  beginning to feel like she needed to be leery of him. Did he still have  the key? Had he made a copy? What had he done inside her house while she  was gone?

She took a step back, the sky swirling overhead and shifting to the  side. Beth shook her head and put a steadying hand against the Blazer.  "Please tell me you didn't break into my house," she whispered.

"I didn't. I went into the garage, saw your car was gone, and I left."  Ozzy finally looked at her, a slash of eyes that showed no warmth. "But  if I had, it would have been justified. I thought there was something  wrong. I thought you were hurt."

Anger boiled through her, heated her skin from the inside out. All of  Ozzy's actions were excusable, no matter if they were right or wrong. He  was without blame, always.

"It's none of your business where I was or what I was doing."

"It is my business!" Ozzy swallowed and looked around to see if they had  an audience. In a quieter voice, he continued. "It is my business when  you ask me to work for you, and then lie about why you aren't going to  be able to work. Where were you? Do you have a new boyfriend, is that  it?"

Beth's cold skin blazed with fury and her mouth twisted with it. "I did  hurt my back, and I couldn't work. I didn't lie about either of those  things."

"Is there someone else, Beth? Are you-are you in love with someone  else?" Ozzy demanded like she hadn't spoken, his voice vibrating with  wrath, and something else.         

     



 

An ache she recognized from her own heart, and voice, once upon a time.  It was the startling moment when it became clear that the one she loved  could be with someone else. It was disbelief and insanity and denial,  all neatly packed together, all ready to unravel the person at the  slightest provocation.

Ozzy realized that she could move on. She could love another. Her heart  was not only to be his. He moved on, but he never thought she would. And  he thought he could come back, every time. Because she'd let him, but  not anymore. Beth deserved more than what he could give her. She  deserved better.

"It doesn't matter," she told him, her eyes hot with disenchantment.  "It's over between us. You need to admit that to yourself. And you have  to stop showing up whenever you feel like it, and tell your family to  quit keeping tabs on me. I don't appreciate it."

"You don't care about me at all, do you?" His expression was wounded.

Beth took a deep breath, trying to calm her speeding pulse. Arguing with  him did nothing but give him power. She was done letting him have power  over her. Beth was taking it back. Ozzy was a manipulator, and he  didn't even realize it. It took Beth years to see it. A manipulator, and  a liar-two things that should be avoided in life, as they made people  doubt their instincts. Instincts were always right.

"It isn't that, and you know it."

"Is there even really a job?" The anger faded to sorrow, and looking  into his devastated eyes was like looking into her own a year in the  past.

"Yes, there is a job," she hissed. Beth reached for the groceries. "This  is my life, and it is separate from yours. Accept it. I have to get  these inside. Go home, Ozzy."

Ozzy grabbed the remaining bags and hefted them into his arms. He looked  defiantly back when she opened her mouth to tell him she didn't need  help. Not wanting to keep arguing, but also knowing it was wrong to give  in, Beth shook her head and walked through the plowed driveway. Her  face reddened at the knowledge that Ozzy must have cleared the snow for  her. Guilt tightened her throat.

She tried the doorknob. The door was unlocked, and that gave her pause.  Was Ozzy telling the truth? Had she been so upset over learning what she  had about Harrison that she'd forgotten to lock the doors on her way  out? It was possible. She took a quick breath and entered the house  through the garage, kicking off her boots before stepping inside.

The warmth was appreciated, and as Beth took in her living quarters, she  felt like she was home. She couldn't recall feeling that way before.  The house was alien for so long, but now it was hers. Beth had missed  sleeping in it last night. She'd been dependent on Ozzy for so long that  it had taken her a while to realize she liked her freedom. The only  thing wrong with the house was her ex-boyfriend's presence. She would  talk to her landlord about Ozzy and make sure her privacy hadn't been  violated, a task she wouldn't enjoy, but one that was necessary.

Ozzy's eyes were weights on her back as he followed her to the kitchen,  and she wondered if that was how Harrison had felt when she'd stared at  him as they walked. Dissected. She felt dirty in her worn clothes, like  all of the activities of yesterday were visible in the wrinkles of the  fabric and the unkemptness of her appearance. Beth's most secret  thoughts and feelings were shouting from her skin, and Ozzy was  observing them all.

"You missed it-there was a fight at the bar last night." Ozzy set down  the bags on the counter and looked around the room. His moods switched  without warning, the wrath absent and friendliness in its place. Beth  never understood how he could do that. When she was mad, she stayed mad  for a while.

Beth started putting away the food, glancing at Ozzy as she worked. She  wanted him to go, and the best way to get that to happen was to be  agreeable. "Who?"

He drummed his fingers on the countertop. "Denny Imhoff and Jason  Hilton. They were playing cards and Denny accused Jason of cheating."

"Was he?"

Ozzy grinned. "Well, yeah, but he always does. Denny just decided to take offense to it last night."

"I'm sure drinking was involved."

"Of course." Ozzy handed the half-gallon of milk to Beth.

"Thanks." She put away the last of the groceries. At his raised  eyebrows, she added, "For helping carry in the groceries. And plowing  the driveway. Did you use your brother's plow truck?"