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Staying On Top(39)

By:Lyla Payne


“Do you have anything?” I asked, sounding too breathless. Please say he had something.

He crooked a smile. “Who do you think you’re talking to? Don’t move.”

It felt strange, sitting naked on the bathroom counter, but I fought the urge to slide off. Sex made me uncomfortable. Not that I didn’t enjoy it, or want it, or intellectually know that what went on in my bedroom was similar to what went on in beds across the world, but . . . I felt silly anyway.

I felt sillier when Sam returned wearing a different pair of shorts and no condom.

“So . . . I don’t have anything.”

My brain screamed that I didn’t care, but my body was having none of that. I wanted Sam, but it didn’t mean I could afford to be unrealistic about his past.

I crossed my arms over my breasts in a lame attempt to hide my nakedness. My arms didn’t go nearly far enough, and before I could reach for my clothes, Sam tugged on my wrists.

“Don’t do that. Don’t cover up.”

“I want to.”

“Why? What’s changed?”

What had changed was that I could handle being naked and vulnerable during sex, but not without it. I figured on using a good portion of the money I’d earned working for my dad on a good therapist, but for today, prancing around naked in front of a guy I hadn’t just slept with made me feel as though hives were breaking out across my skin.

I scratched at one on my shoulder, still covered, and eyed him. “Nothing.”

“You are a funny little devil,” he murmured, then leaned forward and scooped me into his arms.

“What are you doing?” I demanded as he strode easily back into his bedroom.

“Bringing you to bed with me.”

“But you just said . . .”

“I said we couldn’t have sex. I’d be happy to pleasure you another way, if you’d like, or give you a T-shirt and tuck you in, if you prefer that. But I haven’t been able to sleep thinking of you in the other room, and how much better it would be if you were in here.”

“You want to cuddle?” The idea did not amuse me in the slightest.

“I mean, we’re going to be driving tomorrow, right? Don’t you want me to get some sleep?”

“You’re a grown-up, Sam. I’m sure you manage to get to sleep alone all the time.” I grabbed a discarded T-shirt off the dresser, trying my best to ignore how it smelled like him, and slipped it over my head. “I’m not really into cuddling.”

“The first option, then?” He winked and reached for me, frowning when I stepped out of range. “Blair, seriously. Why are you acting like this? I thought when we met sneaking into each other’s rooms in the middle of the night that it meant you were into it. Did I imagine that whole scene in the bathroom? Is this a dream? Am I in Inception?”

He looked around like a suspicious animal, sniffing the air, and in spite of everything, I felt a smile tug at my lips. It made me feel more exposed than being naked but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t go away.

Sam leaned over and kissed my nose. “You’re really pretty when you smile. For a devil.”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

That earned me an eyebrow raise. “Oh?”

My face heated at the memory of myself undressed and writhing under his touch, his mouth. “Well, nothing you can give me tonight, anyway.”

“Blair, I have many talents and despite what you seem to think, I’m not selfish.”

“No. I mean . . . I’ll lie down, if it’s that big of a deal to you, but that’s it.”

“You’re pretty fucked up, aren’t you.”

It wasn’t a question, and he didn’t say it in a way that made me feel stupid or unwanted. I hated that he could see the broken pieces of me so easily but had no idea that my entire purpose here was to defraud him further.

Then again, maybe he did. Sam had great instincts—he would have made a great con man in another life, one where he didn’t wear his thoughts on his face and let them tumble out of his mouth unchecked.

He sat down on the bed, stretching in a way that displayed every single one of his abs. I looked away before I decided to borrow another girl’s personality and asked him to finish what he started, at least on me. It was safer on the other side of the bed.

“Can I have a pair of shorts or something?”

“This is the only pair I have. And since you wouldn’t let me bring anything other than a backpack, I’ve only got two pairs of underwear and they’re both dirty. Speaking of which, we should have asked Mari if we could do laundry.”

That would have been smart, actually. I had one clean pair left but that was it.