Stay(34)

He pushed off of me and stretched his hands over his head, letting out a satisfied breath. Then he got off the bed, picking his pants up from the floor. He stumbled into them and left the room.

My dress was pushed up to my chest. Everything inside of me hurt, and I was still handcuffed to the bed. I had never let anyone finish inside me before, not even Mateo, a previous long-term boyfriend. And there it was, dripping down my leg and onto the mattress.

And just like that, he had robbed me of my innocence. It was gone, never to come back. And I would never be the same.





CHAPTER FOURTEEN





TEARS BLURRED BY eyes as I pushed myself up off the bed. I wrapped my fingers around my wrist, gently covering the lines of red, raw skin. A chill ran through me as I looked around the messy room for my underwear.

I took one step and doubled over. Searing pain burned between my legs, going up into my stomach. The palms of my hands pressed into my thighs. Open mouthed, I cried and gasped for air. Black dots speckled my vision. The world spun, and my arms flew out to keep from falling.#p#分页标题#e#

But I had already fallen. Down, deep down into blackness, miles below the surface. I couldn’t breathe. Did I even want to breathe? I could sink into the darkness and it would all be over.

No. There was a way out.

I straightened up and took another step away from the bed. The burning shot through me all the way up into my chest. I clenched my jaw and bent over, the movements amplifying the pain, and grabbed my underwear.

I cried out when I lifted one foot off the ground and stuck it through the leg of the underwear. I made no attempt to hold back the tears that streamed in rivers down my face. I cast an angry glare at the door. How could that monster get off on my pain? How could he keep going when I screamed and cried and tried to get away?

My trembling fingers slipped and the waistband of the panties snapped against my skin. I straightened the dress and ran my hands over my hair. I kept my legs apart and walked out of the bedroom, dizziness setting in with a vengeance. I felt so violated, so helpless, so dirty. I wanted to scrub every surface of my body until my skin peeled off, though I doubted even that would make me feel better.

I let myself out of the apartment, expecting to see Zane. Instead, Jackson stood slumped against the wall. His head rested against his shoulder and his arms were loosely crossed against his chest. He pushed off the wall when the door closed behind me and took a step in my direction. The color drained from his face and his eyes opened wide. One of his hands flew up as if he was going to touch me, but he stopped himself and just stood there with his hand awkwardly in the air.

I brushed away tears and pressed my chin into my chest. Jackson averted his eyes to the ground and tipped his head forward, causing his messy black hair to fall into his face. His hand dropped to his side and he took a small step toward the stairs, pausing to see if I would follow. I pressed my arms to my sides and obeyed, following Jackson through the hall, down the stairs, and out of the apartment building.

My eyes closed when we stepped into the sun. I walked blindly, concentrating on how red the back of my eyelids were. Part of me wanted to think about what had just happened. Another part knew I couldn't process it just yet.

"Careful," Jackson said when I reached the curb. I slit my eyes open and stared at the pavement, watching Jackson's feet move. His worn out work boots were covered in mud. I slowly brought my eyes up, unable to see all that well from the bright light, and noticed that his jeans were dirty as well. Then I remembered seeing him pulling weeds. Why did he pick me up when Zane was already in this part of town?

Jackson stopped beside an old, white Trail Blazer and opened the passenger door for me. I lifted my leg to step in and felt shooting pain deep inside me, causing me to flinch. I closed my eyes and inhaled sharply. I could feel Jackson's eyes on my back. My face crinkled as I silently sobbed and I got into the SUV.

***

It was dark by the time we arrived back at the farmhouse. I walked in front of Jackson and went straight to the basement. Jackson's voice sounded muffled as he spoke, telling us that he would bring food down in a few minutes.

"Addie?" Phoebe gently spoke.

I was still standing at the base of the stairs. She rose from the card table where she was sitting with Lily and Rochelle and walked over, gently putting her hand on mine. I flinched from the touch, the feeling of skin on skin sending a horrible memory to flash in my mind.

"Shhh," she soothed and moved to my side. "Let get you out of clothes."

I knew I nodded in agreement, but I hadn't fully processed what she was saying. I allowed her to lead me to the cot and sit me down. I kept my eyes on the floor, my sight blurring with tears. I heard a metallic squeak as the shower turned on.#p#分页标题#e#