“I like playing with him. He’s good at coloring.”
“And playing in the snow,” Wes added.
“And bowling.”
He tickled her sides. “And giving you too many sweets.” She laughed and Wes did too.
When she stopped giggling, she spoke again. “He’s good at lots of things, just like you.”
Wes’s heart ached a little at that. Was he? Was Wes good at a lot of those same things Braden was? Did he make her laugh and...hell, was he a nice person the same way Braden was?
“Is he gone like Mommy?” she asked, wiping her eyes. Wes’s chest cracked apart. His whole body did.
“No, baby girl. He’s not. Braden is okay. There’s just a lot going on.” It was a strange moment to realize it, but Wes noticed she never said “says” anymore when speaking about her mom. It was always “said.” It made his throat feel tight. It meant she really started to grasp that Chelle was gone.
“Is he not your boyfriend anymore?” she asked, breaking his heart. He didn’t realize she really got what was going on between them.
“It’s hard to explain, kiddo. Hey, what do you say we go look at puppies tomorrow?”
Jessie shook her head. “I want Jock.”
Wes sighed, not sure what to say.
“I miss Braden.” She dropped her head on his arm, and Wes wrapped it around her. “I hope we get to see him soon.”
Wes sighed. “I miss him, too, kiddo.” He missed him, too.
Wes clicked power on the TV and turned it to Tom and Jerry and watched it with her. A couple hours later, Jess was fast asleep, and Wes stood in front of Chelle’s closed door. He’d started this with Braden, started trying to move on, to move forward, yet hadn’t been back since the only day they’d spent in the room.
Chelle would hate him for keeping his emotions on lockdown. She always hated the fact that Wes thought things were easier when he was alone. He hadn’t felt alone when he’d sat in that room with Braden. And if he didn’t do this, didn’t say goodbye to his big sister, he might never be able to move forward. The only way to move forward was to deal with the past.
It was time Wes finished in here. He needed to be strong enough to do it on his own. He needed to be strong for Jessie, and for himself.
Chapter Thirty
Braden stood in the kitchen of the firehouse when Fred and a couple of the other guys came in. There was a group of three of them, talking as they went and not paying much attention to what they were doing.
As they passed him, Fred’s arm bumped into Braden’s. He looked up as though to apologize to who he hit, until he saw it was Braden and just turned to keep going.
Without any thought, Braden’s arm shot out and he grabbed Fred. “You hit me.”
“So?”
He felt like his insides were on fire, burning with anger. “Why’s it so hard for you to know I have a boyfriend?” Braden took a step closer to him. “Always wanted one but didn’t have the balls to go for it? Let me tell you, you’re really missing out.” He winked at Fred, and that’s when the man went for him.
He swung at Braden, who tried to dodge it. Fred’s fist grazed his cheek enough that he felt the sting of the hit.
Braden wouldn’t miss. He let his fist fly, making contact with Fred’s eye. Before he could have another go at him, arms wrapped around him from behind. Someone else grabbed onto Fred, who yelled. “You son-of-a-bitch! Don’t you ever say shit like that to me again!”
Braden’s chest hurt he breathed so hard. “You forgot to add queer in there, because that’s what I am, remember? And I like it, too.”
Fred tried to go after him again, yelling and cussing like crazy. Both of them went still when the chief walked into the room. “Braden, Fred. What the fuck’s going on here?”
“Nothing,” they both said at the same time. The hold on Braden loosened, and Fred pulled free of his and walked out of the kitchen.
“Roth, in my office,” the chief said before heading that way. Braden groaned and followed him. He closed the door behind them and collapsed into the chair.
“Want some ice for that nothing on your face?” he asked.
“What nothing?” Braden leaned back.
“This isn’t like you. What’s going on?”
A deep breath escaped his lungs. He was right. Braden wasn’t being himself at all. “Nothing.”
The other man shrugged. “Listen, I know we haven’t talked about this in a while, but I was talking with a buddy of mine in New York. He’s got an opening coming up. I know you were looking to get out of here, and what better place than The Big Apple? I can put in a good word for you.”