My mother, who I never would have pegged as someone interested in living off the grid, seemed fascinated by all of this. Or maybe she was just dazzled by his eyes, which were a darker hue of Dalton’s green emeralds.
We ordered our lunch and began eating. Jake ordered the full English breakfast for lunch, and he poked his fork into a big sausage, then held it up for us to admire. “The adult entertainment industry has changed a lot in the last decade or so,” he said, still waving the sausage.
My father, in all seriousness, said, “Of course. The whole distribution system has changed, with high-bandwidth internet.”
“Plus Viagra.” Jake winked at my mother. “If you ask me, I’d say that little blue pill was invented by women. Not that I ever touch the stuff. Don’t need to.”
“That’s enough,” I said, reaching across the table and taking the fork out of his hand. I shook the fat, greasy sausage off the fork’s tines. “Jake, I’m starting to see why Dalton has been avoiding you all these years. You can’t behave yourself for ten minutes, can you?”
“Peaches,” my mother hissed at me.
Jake swirled the amber liquid in his tumbler and brought it to his lips, his dark green eyes fixed on me.
“From what I’ve heard,” he drawled slowly, “you’re no stranger to bad behavior yourself.”
I grabbed a knife from my place setting and reached across the table toward Jake’s plate. “I’m no angel, but I don’t go waving phallic-looking greasy sausages at other people’s mothers!” I proceeded to dice his sausage into coin-shaped slices.
“You’ve raised a hell of a good woman,” Jake said to my parents, his face smooth with honesty. “I wish the boy’s mother was still around, because nothing would make her happier than to see the fine people he’s surrounded himself with. You Monroes, you’re good, but you know that. You’re not like me. Your daughter isn’t ashamed of you, hiding up in her room.”
My mother replied, “We are all just so sorry for your loss. Petra told us your wife passed away recently?”
“She passed unexpectedly. That’s what the papers said, because that’s their code for suicide. Cause of death was an overdose, but I don’t believe it was an accident.”
“Very sorry for your loss,” said my father, who had been quiet since the topic moved away from solar panels.
“I don’t touch drugs now,” Jake said, swirling his drink once more. “Booze, on the other hand, is perfectly fine in moderation.” He winked at my mother, smiling again. “Unlike women and love, for which there should never be moderation.”
My father looked up and caught my eye from his end of the table. His expression wasn’t angry, or upset. Just confused. As if he couldn’t understand why. Why did I keep doing these whimsical things that affected the whole family?
My mother responded by reaching over and grabbing my father’s hand. “I agree,” she said. “No moderation on love.”
Jake got a big grin on his face. His teeth weren’t nearly as perfect as Dalton’s, but he had a similar chin dimple, and some of my good feelings for his son were making me like him, even though he was crude and eye-fucking my mother way too much.
“No moderation on love,” he repeated. “I should write that down for the speech at the wedding.”
I pushed my chair back and stood. “Oh, HELL, no.”
He gave me a devilish look. “I promise the speech will be very tasteful.”
My mother grabbed my wrist and gently sat me back down. “You two threw everyone into a tizzy with your whirlwind wedding, so now you’re going to have to deal with it.” She asked Jake, “He’s your only child, is that right?”
“Yup. I got the old snip-snip right after the boy was born. Doctor had to go in two times, because my swimmers kept finding a way.”
My father’s chair squeaked as he turned and looked wistfully at the quiet, bald man with the paperback.
“Does Dalton have any cousins?” my mother asked. “Peaches is very fond of all her cousins. She didn’t have a sibling her own age, but we were blessed, weren’t we?”
“I’m blessed,” I said, nodding in agreement and watching Jake closely. I was intrigued by the idea of my fiancé having cousins. Perhaps one of them was single and cute, ready to be set up with Shayla at the wedding.
“Funny you should mention that,” Jake said, leaning in and glancing around as though making sure nobody would overhear a big secret. “I’ve got a bit of a surprise for the boy, and I can’t wait to see the look on his face.”