A new idea. “Did he leave a will?”
“The lawyer has it. Everything comes to me, so that part’s easy. Oh,” she said, a hand-to-mouth gesture. “I never thought. Is there anything you would like? I’m sure he—”
Ben shook his head. “I don’t need anything. Anyway, you’re his wife.”
She smiled a little, trying to be light. “It’s lucky we’re living now. Not like in the old days. Bible times. You would have to take care of me. The brother’s wife. Like a sheep or a goat. I’d belong to you.”
He looked up at her, thrown off balance, then passed it off by smiling back.
“I couldn’t afford it.” He motioned to the check stubs. “Magnin’s alone.”
“You think I’m extravagant. Really, it was Daniel. He liked going out. He liked me to dress. And now how much is left? I haven’t thought.” She stopped and came over to the desk for a cigarette, her hands nervous. “I haven’t thought about anything, really. What I’m going to do. Since you won’t take me,” she said, smiling again, blowing out smoke. “I should sell the house. My father’s already asking, come live with me, but it’s enough the way it is. Milton’s daughter. An apartment somewhere, I guess. But I’d miss the pool.” All said quickly, as if she were filling time, avoiding something else.
“You don’t have to stay here.”
“I couldn’t leave my father. Anyway, I like it here. Maybe I’m lazy. Everyone complains, so ugly, so boring, but I like it.” She started to put on her bathing cap, then stopped. “I know why you’re looking,” she said suddenly, nodding to the desk. “You want to know who it was. The other one. But what does it matter now?”
He took a breath. “Because we need to know. I don’t think he killed himself. I don’t think he tripped.”
She said nothing for a minute, staring back, her body almost weaving. “You’re not serious,” she said finally, her voice faint.
“There was someone else in the room.”
“How can you know that?”
“It’s the only way it makes sense.”
“Sense,” she said, still trying to collect herself. “To think that. Things like that don’t happen, not in real life. Do you think he was a gangster?”
“That’s not the only reason—”
“Why then? She was so jealous? He was leaving her? Maybe it was the wife. Maybe you think that. Isn’t it always the wife?” she said, her voice rushed, flighty.
“Not always,” he said calmly.
She took up the cap again, fidgeting. “It’s not true. Think what it means.”
“It means he didn’t kill himself.”
Her shoulders moved, an actual shiver. “It changes everything, to think this. Why would anyone kill him?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“And you think it’s her? She’s so strong? To push a man like Daniel? Ouf.” She shook her head, dismissive.
“She’s a lead. He got the apartment for her.”
She nodded at the desk. “What do you expect to find?”
“A number, maybe.”
“Clues, like his detectives,” she said. “Ben.”
“You think I’m imagining this.”
“No,” she said, her face softer. “I think you want it to be true. It’s easier for you.” She frowned. “But how could it be true?” she said, not really talking, thinking. “To make someone do that. Kill you. He wasn’t like that.” She looked back at him. “It’s so hard for you to accept this? What he did?”
“He didn’t.”
“The police think so.”
“The police made a mistake.”
“But not you. Just like him. You get some idea and then you won’t let go.”
“It’s not some idea.”
“Because it’s better this way. He didn’t do it.”
“Isn’t it?”
She said nothing, at a loss, then turned to go. “There’s more,” she said, flicking her hand toward the piles on the desk. “Boxes from his office. In the screening room. The next installment of Partners. Maybe it’ll give you an idea.”
“You think I’m crazy.”
“Not crazy. Something. I don’t know what. Like him. So sure.”
“You don’t want to believe it.”
“I want it to be over. It’s something you learn, when you leave. You can’t look back. Not if you want to keep going. He’s gone,” she said.
“And if I’m right? We just walk away?”