Chapter Fifteen
Being in the position of winning back Ethan’s trust was new and precious to Mandy. There was no doubt that he loved her or that she loved him. But there was a lot of healing to be done. The reversal of roles where she had to prove that she was here to stay had her feeling more empowered, not discouraged. No looking back, she told herself each day. And she showed it as much as she could to Ethan that this time, her heart knew what it was doing; knew what it wanted.
She knew the outside world had people already hardwired to cling to negative thoughts or spread malicious gossip no matter what. The public could have their opinion about her and Ethan; if she never cared before, she certainly didn’t now.
It was like starting all over again. Everything felt new and rare. This time, there was no rush. Sex was a distant afterthought. Mandy respected that Ethan didn’t automatically expect them to jump right back into it. If anything, he seemed to be the one holding back. This demonstrated more than anything how willing he was to see this through. Their powerful passion for each other hadn’t been all they had, and she was glad to discover that over the days and weeks that followed.
The Strum’s “Not Guilty” worldwide concert tour was to promote their newest album. Venues were spread through North America, Canada, and Europe, not forgetting Australia and New Zealand. Mandy’s last minute decision to join the tour looked crazy in the broad light of day when she stood outside the tour bus the next morning. She’d woken up in Ethan’s arms in that hotel bed and found him looking down at her, a slight smile of wonder in his eyes and on his lips, as if he couldn’t believe she was really there. “Sure you want to do this?” he’d asked softly.
Mandy’s answer had been to lean forward and kiss him, deeply and sweetly.
Now, climbing onto the state-of-the-art tour bus along with the band and the management team, she kept thinking of her mantra: no turning back. It was going to be tens of cities over more than seven months on the road and then flying when the need arose. It was going to be massive. Insane. But no way she was going to stay home. It didn’t matter that Zuriel was a special guest performer and would be a feature during much of the North American leg of the tour. Ethan had promised Mandy that Zuriel knew to stay well away from Mandy. Not that Mandy was worried she couldn’t hold her own against that dark-haired bully. She was in this for the long haul and she wouldn’t be running scared anytime soon. Not again.
City to city…out-of-this-world performances to sold-out crowds, exhausting nights on the bus or in some hotel…the unstoppable fans and groupies, the explosive music running fast with the blood in her veins…Mandy couldn’t imagine being anywhere else than here, sharing the experience with Ethan. Watching him from the wings and sometimes, catching his look when he turned his glance her way and smiled, knowing she was there, always there.
Mandy learned the best ways to keep herself from the public eye and was happy to let Davey play his part promoting the band the best way he knew how: by creating buzzes. He stayed out of Mandy’s way, too. Especially when Ethan had given him an ultimatum: you’re replaceable. Mandy’s not. Davey got the message easily enough, big-shot manager that he was.
God, but it felt good. Reckless and yet sweet. Mandy had never done anything so crazy as leaving everything behind just to be with Ethan. When she could, she worked on building her new consultancy business. Armed with her laptop and her smartphone, she was able to get a website going and showcased her services. Her few months of working for Jessica Charles had taught her to think on her feet and she liked that she could keep busy doing her own thing while still sticking to Ethan’s side.
This time was different from the episode in London in so many ways. Yes, she saw how much harder the band worked each night. And even if she wasn’t there working as their stylist, she felt closer to the band than ever before. She had no doubt now about their support for her and Ethan. Everyone did all they could to please her and make her feel like one of the family. She tried to convince herself they did it mostly for Ethan, but in the end she realized that wasn’t just it. They really liked her; had accepted her. They knew she belonged.
“I’m glad you aren’t working on this tour,” Ethan said on their third week into the tour. The band had just finished a smashing set in front of a sold-out crowd. Ethan had grabbed her to him the moment he’d gotten off stage. It warmed her to her bones especially when she knew how much it mattered to him that she was there. I love it in front of the crowd, he’d told her just days ago. But it takes a lot out of me; leaves almost nothing left. I end up empty and lost in it all till I remind myself that you’re waiting, that I’ll see you soon. Knowing that gives me strength like you can’t imagine.