Stage Dive 02 Play(21)

He waved away the question. “No, we’ve moved on. Out of interest, did it even occur to you to hit Ev up for the money you needed last night?”

I reared back in surprise. “What? No.”

“She’d have given it to you. Fuck knows her and Davie have got it.”

“It’s not her problem.”

He gave me another smug look.

“That proves nothing. And if you’ve chosen me for my ethics then am I really the best person to be lying to your friends and family, Mal?”

“Pumpkin … we’re not going to be hurting anyone. We’re just going to be helping each other out, that’s all.”

“You said I was a hopeless liar.”

“You’ll be fine.” He waved my protests away.

I just sat there and reeled. Was this really something we could pull off?

“Trust me.”

“Why do you need a pretend girlfriend?”

“Because I do.”

“Mal.”

He rolled his eyes, face tensing. “Because it’s none of your business why, okay? I’ve paid up your rent. Your sweet ass will not be evicted. In return, all I ask is that you gaze adoringly at me around other people. You do that anyway; what’s the big deal here?”

“So you’re not going to tell me?”

“Have you had your hearing tested lately? Let’s just say I have a good reason, a personal reason, and leave it at that. Honestly, you’re as bad as Davie and Ev. ‘What’s wrong, Mal?’ ‘Are you okay, Mal’ Well, I was until everyone asked me a thousand fucking times.” He pushed to his feet and started pacing the room. Given the length of his legs, he didn’t get very far. Three steps forward, three steps back. After a couple of laps he stopped, stared out the window at the street below.

“Why does everyone insist on being heavy all the fucking time? Life’s too short for all this oversharing. You’re here. I’m here. We can help each other out and have a good time while we’re at it. That’s all that matters.” He spun on his heel to face me, arms out wide. “Life’s a song, Anne. Let’s play.”

My life hadn’t been much of a song … at least, not up until this point.

Neither of us spoke for a moment. Expectation and impatience oozed from him. I did indeed have a bad feeling I was being played again. However, not maliciously this time. Mal didn’t seem like he’d harm a fly. But he might accidentally trample one.

From the outside, it seemed a good deal. I really did need the money. I also liked being around him. He was about a bazillion times more fun than I’d ever known. Whatever happened, this was bound to be a hell of a ride. And if I knew he would leave, up front, there’d be no risk of getting overly attached. I’d just enjoy the time I had with him and then say good-bye. This could very well be fantastic.

“Alright,” I said at last. “You have pulled my ass out of the fire. Thanks for that. But I’m still not completely convinced about this girlfriend plan. I guess we’ll see how it goes.”

He clapped his hands in glee. “You won’t regret this. I won’t mess with your life. Much.”

“Much?”

“And you know I’m a fucking delight to have around. People don’t always get that about me. Plus, I’ll open jars and lift heavy shit. I hear those are issues for women.” He bounced around the room. Good god, this man had energy to spare like he snorted sugar. “So, what should we do tonight? Wanna order some food? What do you feel like?”

I slumped back in the chair, tired from just watching him. “Mal, I don’t have money for that, but you go ahead.”

“Would you stop worrying about money? That’s why I’m here. Everything’s fine. Now what do you feel like?”

“Whatever you want is great.”

“That is so the correct answer. We are going to be the best fake couple ever, pumpkin.”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Puuuumpkin,” he drawled, eyebrows waggling. “It’s a great nickname. Your hair is kinda that color and we’re a couple now. Couples always have dumb-ass names for each other. C’mon, you think up one for me.”

“I’ll get right to work on that.”

“Cool. Then we’ll have touching time.” He rubbed his hands together. “Actually, never mind, we can do that later in bed.”

My mind scrambled for purchase. “Bed? Touching time? Is that a euphemism? I thought we weren’t having sex. You said we were just pretending.”

“Geez, relax. We’re not having sex, we’re just sleeping together. The whole plan will totally collapse if we start having sex. What I need is a respectable long-term-looking relationship. We start fucking and you’ll be all ‘Oh Mal, I never dreamed such ecstasy was possible. I cannot live without you! Fuck me, Mal. Pleeeeease.’” His knees buckled until he fell flat onto the floor. It was an impressive performance. The man knew how to bat his eyelashes.