“I think I have a pretty clear picture of how you feel. I heard about
your news in great detail. I don’t care. It’s obvious you and I don’t
feel the same way about each other. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here
telling me all this. Do what you have to do.”
A sob escaped from Juliana’s throat, and she unconsciously
leaned her forehead against his triceps, which was stretched up so that
his forearms rested on the top rail of the corral. “But I—Ash, you
don’t understand. I love you,” she said in a shaky whisper, her
fingertips brushing against his ribs.
The tension coiled in his muscles, and he stepped away from her,
leaving her to wobble forward as he withdrew from her. She felt a
fault line open in her chest at his hasty withdrawal.
“Then you’re even more confused than I thought, Juliana, if you
can stand there and tell me that,” he spat out in a sarcastic tone. “That
is not something I’ll ever be ready for, and I can’t believe you’d even
think about it. I thought you knew me. I don’t share.”
He was angry because she’d hoped he would want to share a life
with her and their baby. She couldn’t believe her ears. How had she
so stupidly misjudged him?
190
Heather Rainier
The fault line quaked in her chest as she remembered his words
after they’d had unprotected sex. He’d told her he would take
responsibility for his actions. He’d lied. Not that she would’ve
accepted it, but he didn’t even make the offer of paying for an
abortion. As the thought slammed into her, anger came close on its
heels, and a fierce, protective instinct inside of her roared to the
surface.
“I came here to share the news with you. You already seem to
know. So, I guess I’ve done what I came to do. Nice knowing you,
cowboy.” She turned on her heel and walked back to the side door
when realization slammed into her. She faltered a step but kept going,
her head held high.
She didn’t realize how much she’d come to enjoy all his little
endearments. Calling him cowboy reminded her that he usually
responded in kind with city girl or darlin’.
Now she saw how meaningless all of that was to him. It was just
part of his southern charm. He probably called the girl at the
convenience store down the road darlin’. It meant nothing to him, just
like she had meant nothing to him but an easy lay, just like the baby
meant nothing. There were no endearments forthcoming now because
she was an inconvenience.
Juliana nodded to Angel and Joaquin, who both bore surprised and
concerned looks on their faces as they watched her pass. Realizing
she must look like crap, she put her hands to her face and wiped away
the deluge of tears that she had been unaware of until that moment.
What useless things those tears were. They were wasted on him. He
could go fuck himself if he thought she would treat this as casually as
he did.
She buckled her seatbelt and started the Camaro. She drove down
the long drive, remembering a far different reception the last time
she’d driven down this driveway at Teresa’s wedding. By the time she
made it back to town, depression and fatigue had taken hold.
Spurs and Heels
191
Making an impulsive decision, she sat in her car and made three
phone calls, to Doug Woodworth in Morehead, Leah and Evelyn at
the store, and to Allen. She cried her eyes out through the last one,
and Allen wanted to return to Divine and kick Ash’s sorry ass, but she
told him it wasn’t worth it. Then she went inside and began packing
her bags.
192
Heather Rainier
Chapter Nineteen
Ash held on to the pipe fence for dear life as his city girl turned on
her heel and sashayed away from him, for the last time. It was on the
tip of his tongue to stop her and get on his knees and beg her to stay,
to choose him. But she’d made her feelings known, publicly. He
couldn’t stop her if she’d already made a choice, one that
unfortunately didn’t include him. Maybe this was why she’d held off
telling him she loved him so long. She’d had something totally
different in mind.
He heard footsteps approach. Shadows bracketed his as he
continued looking down at the dusty ground, and then he heard
Joaquin’s voice. “You okay, Ash?”
“Yeah, fine, why?” He tried to still the shakiness in his voice.
“Juliana just blew through the barn, looking devastated. She was
crying.”
“Was she?” Was Joaquin exaggerating? The ranch hand who
overheard her and that peace officer from Tillman had assured him
she’d been ecstatic as he handed her an engagement ring. He’d told