Reading Online Novel

Spinning Out(The Blackhawk Boy #1)(57)



"If I don't, I may as well have killed you that night, too. I've brought you nothing but pain."

"Arrow . . ." She opens her mouth and closes it again, and I realize I'm  holding my breath, hoping she says she loves me too much to let me go.

That's not why I'm standing out here. That's not why I'm doing this. But  I wait, half of my heart praying she'll let me set her free and the  other half waiting for the miracle.

"Is this goodbye?" she asks.

"I want you to live, Mia. I want you to sing. Don't come here anymore.  I'll only keep you in the past. I'll only weigh you down."

She swallows hard and swipes tears from her cheeks with the palm of her  hand. Then, without arguing or agreeing, she climbs into her car, and I  step onto the porch and watch her drive away.





I drive straight to Bailey's apartment. She opens the door seconds after I knock and pulls me into her arms.

"You having a hard time, sweetie?" she asks.

Mason's sitting on the couch, his jean-clad legs stretched out in front  of him and crossed at the ankle. His chest is bare, and he's leafing  through a magazine. When he looks up and sees me, he puts down the  magazine. He grabs his shirt from where it was draped across the back of  the couch and pulls it over his head. "I'll give you two some privacy."  He steps into his shoes and cocks his head at Bailey. "Call me?"

She gives him a noncommittal smile and opens the door wider.

"Right." He grimaces and heads out without another word.

"What was that?" I ask. "I thought you two weren't sleeping together anymore."

"We weren't," she says, pulling me into the apartment and closing the  door. She shrugs. "Funerals make me sad. I needed something in my life  that wasn't sad, and Mason in my bed is very much not sad."

I'd love to indulge in a heart-to-heart about her love life. I'd love to  give her a little lecture about how Mason's a really nice guy who  deserves more from her.

I stare at her, and she rolls her eyes. "It's just sex, Mia."

I'm selfish today, so I don't push it.

She grabs two glasses from the cabinet and sets them on the counter in  front of me. She uncorks a bottle of red wine and fills them both nearly  to the brim. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asks, lifting her  glass. "Or do you want to just hang out and have me pretend I'm not  dying to know what's going on between you and Arrow?"

"What do you mean?"

"Mia, Mason told me about last night. About finding you in the graveyard  and you asking them to take you to Arrow. Which is some really sad-ass  shit, by the way, and if Mase hadn't all but stolen my keys, I would  have come over to be with you." She sighs. "And even if he hadn't told  me, it's all over your face every time you look at Arrow. He came home,  and you started to . . . I don't know, care again. Before, you'd been  looking at the world through glazed eyes, and Arrow snapped you out of  it."

"I'm in love with him."

She wraps her arms around me and nods into my shoulder. "I know that, sweetie."

"I thought I might be able to move on if I knew who was responsible for the accident. I thought that would help me get there."

She nods again. "I know that, too."

I open my mouth then close it again. If I'm scared to tell my best  friend-a girl I trust more than anyone-the truth about what happened  that night, how did I think I could go to the police? "The truth is  supposed to set us free, and in my mind that meant maybe Arrow and I  would have a chance. I was wrong."

She pulls back and nudges my glass toward me. "Drink."

With my eyes on her, I obey. It's wine the way Bailey likes it best: sweet and cheap.

"Tell me what's up with Arrow. Is he screwing around with Trish? Mason  told me she'd been over there a lot. She's a hot mess. I think she might  be a cutter. Did you see those marks on her arms when she was at the  pool?"

I shake my head. I don't want to talk about Trish. "Remember when I told  you I thought there was a chance Coach was the one driving the car, but  Sebastian proved he wasn't?"

"Yeah?"

"The police report for the accident said the deer was shot, and I  thought it might have been a cover-up. So I decided someone needed to  check under the car."                       
       
           



       

"Oh, no," she says.

"Yeah. There was blood under the car. Real blood."

"Coach," she says, as if she's trying to wrap her mind around it.

"Not Coach," I answer. "Coach's Cherokee."

She wraps her arms around herself and backs away, as if she's not sure she wants to hear anymore.

"I told Arrow I thought it was Coach, and he told me . . . the night of the accident . . ."

She tenses her shoulders, shielding herself from the blow. "He'd  borrowed Coach's SUV. I never thought about it before, but I remember  seeing him. He was helping to set up for the high school lock-in." She  meets my eyes and shakes her head.

All I can do is nod.

The color drains from her face all at once, and she spins around to the sink and throws up.

I've been so selfish-so caught up in my own grief that I never stopped  to think about how hard the last few months have been on Bailey. I  wasn't the only one who lost someone I loved that night. Bailey lost  Nic. I may not have approved of the way she loved him or the fact that  she wanted to be with him, but she did. She's been so quiet about her  grief, so selfless in supporting me through mine because she knew I was  dealing with losing my brother and Brogan all at once.

She turns on the tap and scoops handfuls of water into her mouth, then  she just hangs her head over the sink. I wrap her in my arms from behind  and rest my forehead on her back, letting her sobs move through me, and  when she calms, I give the rest.

"He said he wanted to turn himself in but couldn't because Coach covered it up, and he didn't want him getting in trouble, too."

Bailey sinks into the stool beside me and studies her wine. "God, it's so obvious now, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

She shakes her head. "The drugs. The fights. He wasn't himself after the  accident, and we all thought it was grief, but he was ruining his life  on purpose."

"I told him I was going to the police. I told him I was turning him and  Coach in. That's where I thought I was going when I got in the car."

"You can't turn him in, Mia," she says. "His life will be over."

"I'm not going to."

She closes her eyes, exhales slowly, then pops them open. "Mia, is he sure he was driving that night?"

"Yes. He doesn't remember it, but Coach found him in the car and woke him up."

She grabs her keys. "Come on."

I put down my wine and follow her out the door. "Where are we going?"

"To get answers," she says. "We don't have the full story."

Five minutes later, Bailey knocks on the door to Mason and Chris's  apartment, and I shake my head. "I don't know if we should be doing  this."

"Yes, we should," she says. "We need to find answers, and that's why we're here."

"But maybe Sebastian was right. Maybe nothing good can come of digging  up information from that night. If we don't want people to look at Arrow  and find out what happened, we shouldn't ask too many questions."

"We don't know what happened," she says. "Nobody does. Just be cool. It's fine."

Chris opens the door and sees Bailey. His eyes go wide. "Hey! Mason's in  the living room." He seems surprised to see her here. He seems to have  some opinions about Bailey's relationship with Mason, and he's not  alone.

"Thanks," she says. "But I'm not just here for him, ya know. You're my friend, too."

"Mmm," Chris says, unconvinced. "Okay."

We go to the living room and find Mason sitting at the TV with a  PlayStation controller in his hands, some military game with lots of  gunfire on the screen. He looks up and sees Bailey, does a double take,  and then turns the TV off.

"Hey." He puts the controller on the cluttered coffee table. "What's going on?"

"Can't I come and hang out with my friends?" she asks. "You guys show up at my place all the time. What's the difference?"

Chris clears his throat. "No, we don't."

"Shut up," Mason says to Chris. Then to Bailey, "It's cool. You can come over anytime you want."

"Mia got fired this morning," Bailey says.

"Bailey!"

"What? It's not like it's a secret."

I sigh. "My pride or something, okay?"

"Ouch," Mason says. "Why'd the old man fire you?"

Bailey opens her mouth, but I shoot her a look and she closes it again. I  don't really need her talking smack about my dad to these guys.